1. Who is your favorite singer? What do you like about him or her? Paris Hilton. Or maybe I just respect her famous sex tape.
2. Write about your first memory of going to the doctor. He told me I’d get over my eczema by age 12. I still have it and I will turn 70 on November 3rd.
3. Write a poem about writing poems. Poems are simple if you have the time, All you need is a very good rhyme.
4. Write a poem about vacations. Two poems? You’d have to fucking pay me.
5. What is something interesting that no one knows about you? I am not excited about turning 70. And yes I know bloody well that it beats the alternative.
6. Why is it so important to help other people in need? Because it’s the right thing to do. Like paying back loans. I lent $600 to someone that “would pay me back when they get their incentive check”. I keep getting text about its delay. Now I got one that stated they aren’t eligible for the incentive as though that cancels the debt. I replied, I still expected my money back. The shit they wrote back infuriated me.
7. Would you rather finish a project early or do it at the last minute? Why? I’m retired. There is no last minute. Most of my projects are unending, anyway.
8. If you had three months left to live, what would you do? Spend the time with family and friends. Or I’d buy great drugs, marry a Russian bride and spend it in the Caribbean. It’s a tough call.
9. If you could be a flavor of ice cream, what flavor would you be? Why? Okay, this is in the running for the stupidest question of all time in a meme.
10. What is the hardest thing about being a kid? Not getting laid.
11. Would you rather be tall or short? Why? I have shrunk two inches due to all my spine surgeries (13 if you keep track at home). At first, going from 5-11 to 5-9 bothered me. Now I think, what the fuck. It’s just numbers.
12. What is the greatest challenge facing people in our world today? How to answer fucktardian meme questions.
13. What is the scariest experience you’ve ever had? Being told at 52 that if the meds did not work (staph infection for a year) I should get my affairs in order by my infectious disease doc.
14. Write a poem about music. Oh, fuck off.
15. Write about a favorite memory of something you did with your best friend. We came home one night and our neighbor’s girlfriend (who was 20 years our junior) was sitting by our door. They had a fight and she was too drunk to drive. She came in as we prepared coffee. She wouond up going to my bar and pouring a drink. She was a “10”. Maybe an 11. She told us that she had an inverted nipple. My buddy asked to see it. She was only wearing sweats. She got completely naked. This was withing five minutes. The rest I’ll keep to myself. It was a memorable night.
Well, here we are again. I’d love to catch you up, but not much is new. The Queen returned to Bloggingham. Her grandson was sure happy she got back in time for his birthday party. I hope all is well with you. We will return. But we won’t be writing any new poems. Same time. Same blog.