There has been a lot of speculation as to why, after over three years, WTIT: The Blog has taken our longest break ever. We need to set the record straight. We humbly present the Top 10 Most Likely Reasons that we have not published an original post since March 15th. We gave it all the thought we felt it deserved.

10. The French twins have returned to France. We were going through withdrawals.

9. We were in Washington helping President Obama on his economic package. He’s a big fan.

8. We were on the front lines on the border drug war in Mexico.

7. We were doing drugs on the border near Mexico.

6. The World Baseball Classic has bored us so badly that we were sound asleep.

5. We have the list of A-Rod’s call girls. We were checking them out to be sure A-Rod’s rating system was antiquate.

4. Some fucktard stole our computer.

3. We were locked in the Queen’s dungeon. If she’d only feed the damn guard dog, Homer, we would have been back by now.

2. We were investigating Sweet Cop’s Wife multiple personalities. We gave up. We would have never returned.

1. We were just hoping you’d miss us. Now seriously, sometimes you need a break and walk away. We said we would return. (cue applause track) We’re baccckkkkkkkkk…