We have been participating in “See It ‘n’ Write” since its begining. Today is Round 6. Frank of Foxxfyrre’s Honk ’n’ Hollr selected four images and asks his readers to write a story using the items. The WTIT Tape Radio Blog has done each Round so far and today we will do Frank’s Round 6.
Here are the four pictures:
Dictating in the starship’s log, Captain Perk Alator stated, “For our officers and crew being on a mission this far from Earth requires balls of steel.” Perk paused and then said, “Computer: change balls to nerves.” He was not going to get into trouble that he did on his last mission. Captain Perk tossed back a jellybean, his one true vice. Or was that his scotch? It didn’t matter. He just knew not to state in his official ship’s log that the alien women of the next planet had “perky yet firm breasts”. Not that he understood the reasons for his reprimand; and he still stood by his assertion. “Very perky” he thought.
His communicator beeped. “Alator here,” stated the captain. “This is Scott Tissues in the engine room Captain.” “I know where you work, moron” thought Perk but stated, “So Scotty, what’s up?” “Oh shit,” said the ships Chief Engineer. “Yes you can go to crapper, you don’t need my permission,” the captain said. “No sir it’s not that. You know my cat, right?” “Not intimately, but go on. How is Jingles?” “He just knocked over some flower pots”. “Hell’s bells! Any damage to the crop?” asked Captain Perk. Seems that along with jellybeans and scotch, the captain had a taste for marijuana, too. “No damage sir. We are nearing the planet Blowme 2. We are getting life sign readings, Sir.” “Meet me on the bridge, Scotty” the captain ordered.
The captain was greeted on the bridge by his first mate. He was the only non-human in the crew, coming from the planet Puking. “Lt. Balls. What do we know about this planet Blowme 2?” The first mate glanced down at his station counter for the latest readings. “Not much sir. There is most definitely life signs that while not human or Puking, but close.” Now the captain looked at Lt. Balls and addressed him as the friend that he was. “Harry, what do you recommend?” “Perk, beam down a small party with reinforcements ready, just in case.” Captain Perk turned to his security chief Lola Isanidiot, “Ms. Isanidiot bring your two best security people,” which always brought down the house. Everyone on the bridge was laughing. It seems that Lola only had two security officers. The joke was getting very old on this five-year mission, but Perk was the captain, so everyone always laughed.
The landing party beamed into what was a huge palace. They could tell that the inhabitants were huge. The doorways were hundreds of feet high. The desk in this room was as big as a house. As the captain was trying to decide if they should get out of there an alien entered the room. A huge green man with clothing that looked like spinach and “Peter Pan” type shoes. He bellowed, “Ho. Ho. Ho. Nappy headed ho. Who are you little people?” The captain stepped forward, “I am Captain Perk Alator and these are my crew. My first mate, Harry Balls, my security chief, Lola Isanidiot, her guards Red Lite and Mo Ron, and our chief engineer Scott Tissues. And you are?” The green giant bent down, “You need not know, for you will be my lunch. Guards!” Lola fired her fazer, to no effect. Harry tried to kick him in the shins, but basically kicked the giant’s toe. “This way,” yelled the captain who popped out the nearest window and began climbing down. It seems people who owned castles on this planet loved this decorations on the walls. For them they were just tiny nubs. For humans it was like a climbing wall. The crew safely climbed down before the giants could react. “Beam us up,” ordered the captain.
When they got back, the doctor checked them all out. Dr. Blogstein asked, “That was quick, what happened?” Captain Perk chuckled, “We decided not to stay for lunch.”