In Gale Martin’s Blog today she shares a story about her “Biorhythms”. Since I am still not feeling well (I took what might be my second sick day all year) I decided to rip off her theme today so I can go back to bed. (She is welcomed to rip me off anytime as well.)

You might want to know what are biorhythms and why are they important. I have read the goobley-gook on the website and I still have not much of a clue. It is a kind of horoscope-meets-daily numbers-meets-tarot cards sort of deal. You see, we have three stages: High, average and total shit. All you need do is tell the “Biorhythms Site” your birthday, and it will give you such an enlightened and comprehensive reading, that your insight of yourself and of the world around you will probably overwhelm you. Or maybe not. I am not really sure. Here is a chart that I designed to help you understand the true gravity of this situation:
Now I’ve entered my birthday. Here are my readings:

Your general well-being is moderate. You have a critical curve today!

If you have bid physical activities for today, you better defer them until the day after tomorrow. Just relax! There is one more hurdle to pass. You might meet your soul mate after a ten and a half hour ride. Or you might just buy ice cream. Your bio’s are a bit blurry today.

You are 20,102 days old. If you didn’t throw yourself a “20,000 days-old party” than you are totally fucked. The knock at the door will be a policeman. It is wrong to steal ideas from Gale Martin’s column and pass them off as your own. After your arrest you will spend the rest of your days in a 12X10 cell with a guy who looks like he was on The Sopranos.

Being as sick as I am, I am glad I can put off all that physical stuff I had planned. Like walking to my car and going to work. Way too physical. A soul mate or ice cream? I better think that one over. Hold on, there is someone knocking on my door.

Cop: “Are you Bud Weiser?”
Bud: “That’s me.”
Cop: “Did you steal the intellectual property of one said Gale Martin to write your blog today?”
Bud: “Sure. But I credited her.”
Cop: “If you robbed a bank, would you think an IOU would help?”
Bud: “Not exactly…”
Cop: “We better get started. The prison is a ten and a half hour ride.”
Bud: “I hope it has ice cream.”