So here I am single again. Who’d thunk a guy married 30 years would be here? Oh, one more thing there, it was to three separate women. The first we call DL for depressed lady and I had four kids and soon 8 grandchildren. A beauty she was. But when I lost my business she was down for the count. I asked to only charge $2 grand a month. She responded (Oh she did not work) by throwing the ten or so cards in my face. She explained, “I don’t to live this way.” So she married herself a rich guy and he built here a huge house. The credit cards were all destroyed that night. I left a few weeks later. I only stayed because my oldest Heather had a foreign exchange student for two weeks. I could not move out the next day as I wanted to…
My second wife was hot. We had an amazing four years. But she & her ex battled children issues for all of that time. We were in court or in lawyers offices a lot. In the last year for he served us saying the kids shouldn’t be near me. Honestly, there was not a reason for it. It was another ploy, but I had had it. It was a weird separation. She’d find a reason to come to my apartment almost daily. We’d always wind up in bed. But a huge matter over money preceded this, and as with my first wife I could not take it again.
Wife 2 was working. The matter was over a windfall insurance settlement because a driver of a truck who re-ended me. Had I known I’d have 10 more surgeries I would have been a wealthy man. I netted 36 K after the lawyers fees. Wife 2 did all our bill paying because she was by trade a book keeper. I had done the the books of bills through 18 to 38. I welcomed the break. I gave the settlement check to her to pay off all debt with half of it left. I told her to put it in our savings account on the provision I could use it for whatever business deal I could come up with it. It was 1997 (where WTIT celebrated our 30th Anniversary) and I came up with what would prove an awesome idea: Delivery of groceries. She thought it was a dumb idea. She said, “No”. So that a few months back at that point. I took just half of the savings account. Obviously I could have took it all, but I am a very honest guy. Boy was she pissed. She came over “to discuss the savings account”. Man was she angry yelling and cursing. And yes she spent the night with me. No wonder that I don’t understand women.
Kathy entered by life in 2010. She had sent me an email saying that the club I DJ’d at for three years were the happiest days of her life. I did not remember her. We met up at a high scale restaurant for drinks. She showed me a picture she took of me because she was off to join the Army. They had a program at the time where you could “try” boot camp for 45 days. Then you make your decision of signing up or leave. She is not considered a veteran & no one thanks her for her service. She was a trumpet player back then. They told her she could be in the Army band. She wanted to go to college. Her dad wouldn’t pay for school. He told her that because she was so beautiful some dude would marry her. Even for 1977 it was backwards thinking. Oh, when she joined the first thing they did was confiscate her trumpet. She did not see it until that 45 day thing where she said, “I’m out. Sorry, not sorry.” (Quoting recent songs I am still great at because I stay on top of it. I work on adding to my song library every day. That is the truth. I’ve added over 300 songs since the New Year. And no, I do not do any illegal downloading.
When I met Kathy I said that I did not remember her, besides the photo, she showed up saying I nominated her for the foxiest girl in the bar. It was part of our ladies night. Every Wednesday night If you entered you got free drinks. I nominated five each Wednesday but I refused to pick the winner. But they all got drinks and certificates. I let the staff pick out the order and winner. I signed all the certificates. She showed me ten of them. Nine of them were signed by me in my DJ name, Gary Hunter. The tenth was signed by a DJ that came after me. It was the only one she won. Her theory till that night was that I only picked the winner if she slept with me. Which as I said she did not know I only nominated the fucking five and whether I slept with them was not a factor. That isn’t to say that a lot slept with me because they won. They were “Thanking me”. The prize was $100, that would be about $1000 in today’s money.
As Kathy and got together I thought she was a bit nuts. And she was a bit, but for good reasons because of her crappy parents. My dad had a twist on an old saying. He said, “What is, is.” That is what we are going through . But it’s final. She worked out the financial split stuff. I got a signed legal document that that was all. She signed. She is having misery during this process. She should have hired a guy with a truck and move that way. I did not suggest that or anything. While she did contribute money for everything, I paid for her- Her insurance, her phone, her liquor, for meals delivered 3X a week. Do you see where I’m going here? Everyone is trying to figure how I can rent a 4 bedroom home by myself. Here, besides Kathy only my close friends like you know how that’s possible. But no family knows but of course my son, Ben. I promised top not tell family. We both know it will come out, someone will probably will figure it out. Kathy asked me to stay more week last night. I said yes, of course. We are getting along fine, considering. And we were down the road before. That five months we got on well. And unlike Wife 2, nothing else is going on. Which I think both of us is happy with it this way.
I don’t know why I took the time to write this. Ramblings of a retired boomer I’m guessing. I also want to say how well I am taking it. And I will tell you why. Both previous divorces I wounded up on prozac for a couple of months. This time I went to the doctor and asked for it ahead of time. I am sharing this because no one should fear or be ashamed. Yet so many don’t. If you are interest on the med, just email me. (email@example.com, and I don’t check it everyday) It is not prozac, because it takes more time to work. I felt a change in three days. I was no longer angry. I actually going to enjoy it. And yes, three strikes and I am out. This was the right move. Whatever that’s worked has been broken since she came back from the 2015 separation. It was a stupid decision on both of our parts. But so we depart as friends this weekend, but distant friends, now. I hope you a comment. I’m just curious who made it through this over long tale. I will be back. Same time. Same blog.