family

Divorce 3: There’s a Pattern Here

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on February 5, 2020

Posted in: family. 2 Comments

So here I am single again. Who’d thunk a guy married 30 years would be here? Oh, one more thing there, it was to three separate women. The first we call DL for depressed lady and I had four kids and soon 8 grandchildren. A beauty she was. But when I lost my business she was down for the count. I asked to only charge $2 grand a month. She responded (Oh she did not work) by throwing the ten or so cards in my face. She explained, “I don’t to live this way.” So she married herself a rich guy and he built here a huge house. The credit cards were all destroyed that night. I left a few weeks later. I only stayed because my oldest Heather had a foreign exchange student for two weeks. I could not move out the next day as I wanted to…

My second wife was hot. We had an amazing four years. But she & her ex battled children issues for all of that time. We were in court or in lawyers offices a lot. In the last year for he served us saying the kids shouldn’t be near me. Honestly, there was not a reason for it. It was another ploy, but I had had it. It was a weird separation. She’d find a reason to come to my apartment almost daily. We’d always wind up in bed. But a huge matter over money preceded this, and as with my first wife I could not take it again.

Wife 2 was working. The matter was over a windfall insurance settlement because a driver of a truck who re-ended me. Had I known I’d have 10 more surgeries I would have been a wealthy man. I netted 36 K after the lawyers fees. Wife 2 did all our bill paying because she was by trade a book keeper. I had done the the books of bills through 18 to 38. I welcomed the break. I gave the settlement check to her to pay off all debt with half of it left. I told her to put it in our savings account on the provision I could use it for whatever business deal I could come up with it. It was 1997 (where WTIT celebrated our 30th Anniversary) and I came up with what would prove an awesome idea: Delivery of groceries. She thought it was a dumb idea. She said, “No”. So that a few months back at that point. I took just half of the savings account. Obviously I could have took it all, but I am a very honest guy. Boy was she pissed. She came over “to discuss the savings account”. Man was she angry yelling and cursing. And yes she spent the night with me. No wonder that I don’t understand women.

Kathy entered by life in 2010. She had sent me an email saying that the club I DJ’d at for three years were the happiest days of her life. I did not remember her. We met up at a high scale restaurant for drinks. She showed me a picture she took of me because she was off to join the Army. They had a program at the time where you could “try” boot camp for 45 days. Then you make your decision of signing up or leave. She is not considered a veteran & no one thanks her for her service. She was a trumpet player back then. They told her she could be in the Army band. She wanted to go to college. Her dad wouldn’t pay for school. He told her that because she was so beautiful some dude would marry her. Even for 1977 it was backwards thinking. Oh, when she joined the first thing they did was confiscate her trumpet. She did not see it until that 45 day thing where she said, “I’m out. Sorry, not sorry.” (Quoting recent songs I am still great at because I stay on top of it. I work on adding to my song library every day. That is the truth. I’ve added over 300 songs since the New Year. And no, I do not do any illegal downloading.

When I met Kathy I said that I did not remember her, besides the photo, she showed up saying I nominated her for the foxiest girl in the bar. It was part of our ladies night. Every Wednesday night If you entered you got free drinks. I nominated five each Wednesday but I refused to pick the winner. But they all got drinks and certificates. I let the staff pick out the order and winner. I signed all the certificates. She showed me ten of them. Nine of them were signed by me in my DJ name, Gary Hunter. The tenth was signed by a DJ that came after me. It was the only one she won. Her theory till that night was that I only picked the winner if she slept with me. Which as I said she did not know I only nominated the fucking five and whether I slept with them was not a factor. That isn’t to say that a lot slept with me because they won. They were “Thanking me”. The prize was $100, that would be about $1000 in today’s money.

As Kathy and got together I thought she was a bit nuts. And she was a bit, but for good reasons because of her crappy parents. My dad had a twist on an old saying. He said, “What is, is.” That is what we are going through . But it’s final. She worked out the financial split stuff. I got a signed legal document that that was all. She signed. She is having misery during this process. She should have hired a guy with a truck and move that way. I did not suggest that or anything. While she did contribute money for everything, I paid for her- Her insurance, her phone, her liquor, for meals delivered 3X a week. Do you see where I’m going here? Everyone is trying to figure how I can rent a 4 bedroom home by myself. Here, besides Kathy only my close friends like you know how that’s possible. But no family knows but of course my son, Ben. I promised top not tell family. We both know it will come out, someone will probably will figure it out. Kathy asked me to stay more week last night. I said yes, of course. We are getting along fine, considering. And we were down the road before. That five months we got on well. And unlike Wife 2, nothing else is going on. Which I think both of us is happy with it this way.

I don’t know why I took the time to write this. Ramblings of a retired boomer I’m guessing. I also want to say how well I am taking it. And I will tell you why. Both previous divorces I wounded up on prozac for a couple of months. This time I went to the doctor and asked for it ahead of time. I am sharing this because no one should fear or be ashamed. Yet so many don’t. If you are interest on the med, just email me. (bud.weiser@wtit.net, and I don’t check it everyday) It is not prozac, because it takes more time to work. I felt a change in three days. I was no longer angry. I actually going to enjoy it. And yes, three strikes and I am out. This was the right move. Whatever that’s worked has been broken since she came back from the 2015 separation. It was a stupid decision on both of our parts. But so we depart as friends this weekend, but distant friends, now. I hope you a comment. I’m just curious who made it through this over long tale. I will be back. Same time. Same blog.

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My Mom Has Passed Away

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on February 8, 2018

Posted in: family, Uncategorized. 6 Comments

mothersday2012 JeanBud

My mom passed away on Monday. She would have turned 95 this year and was failing physically. I have a broth and sister and we were together saying our last goodbyes together. My mom was a feisty Irish lass. As matriarch of not only our family, but also my cousins on her side of the family. She hosted our Christmas Eve party that began in the family in the early 1900s. The last two years, we (my sister and I and our spouses) went to see her with both liquor and appetizers.

The party had to end with her generation. In families now people move all over the place. Not one of my kids lives in Connecticut anymore and none of brother’s family does either. I will miss her terribly. But I am lucky. My dad lived close to 89 years and passed when I was 62. Now at 66, my parents are gone.

I love you mom. Save me a seat at the piano bar so we can see dad sing…

But I Smoked One

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on December 14, 2014

Posted in: family, sunday stealing. 4 Comments

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Thank you Allison for hosting Sunday Stealing. to join in click here.

Stealing: The Have You Ever Meme

1) Have you ever gotten lost in a maze? No, but I’ve been lost in a haze. But it wasn’t my fault. There were drugs involved.

2) Have you ever been attacked by a wild animal? You must have read those posts about my neighbor’s wife back when I was single.

3) Have you ever ridden a camel? No, back in the day I smoked one. Actually I have ridden a camel. My favorite place to bring my kids, “Santa’s Land” in Vermont had rides. They went bankrupt recently. My daughter brought her daughters there before the doors closed. She was sad because my granddaughters saw a broken down version with no camels.

4) Have you ever pet a rat? No, but more importantly, one hasn’t pet me.

5) Have you ever been a member of a gym? Does a racquetball gym count?

6) Have you ever been in a helicopter? No, flying without wings is crazy.

7) Have you ever cheated at a test? Truth: Only once. Had I not I would not have graduated. I had a “B” average in the subject the previous year. I got the varsity coach who only cared about basketball. I could not stay awake that year.

8) Have you ever ridden a tractor? Nope. I’s no farm hand, I guess.

9) Have you ever passed wind/gas in an embarrassing situation? The question should be “who hasn’t”.

10) Have you ever played the bongos? Yes. Ringo was worried.

11) Have you ever handled a snake? No, but does eating it as sushi count?

12) Have you ever assembled furniture by yourself? Yes. But my wife is the queen of it. She but together a shit load when we bought this house.

13) Have you ever been scuba diving? No. As into nature animal film as I am, I hate underwater stuff and I don’t know why.

14) Have you ever had a disastrous interview? I was the spokesperson at my last job some dozen years back. While not “disastrous” I’d take a few back.

15) Have you ever sold your services? Only to the aforementioned neighbor’s wife.

16) Have you ever raised money for charity? Yes. I worked for Danny Thomas every year as a kid for St. Jude’s. My favorite rock station was sponsoring it. When they switched to another station I stopped. (True.)

17) Have you ever won a giant sized cuddly toy from a fair? Yes. I gave it to whoever the woman was that I was with.

18) Have you ever milked a cow? Yuk.

19) Have you ever used the phrase “back in my time” to someone younger than you? Not exactly. But we all love the “good old days”.

20) Have you ever invented a fairly unique meal or drink? My kids said I made the best Sunday brunch they ever had growing up. Sunday morning was my turn.

Thank you all for the kind words about losing my dad. It was a great comfort to be able to say how I really felt what was going on here. Had I tried on social media, it would have been judged and I wasn’t up for that. I’m alive and doing fine. My dad once said, “No afterlife for me. I believe your immortality is in your children.” I’ve got a lot to live up to. Although I’m glad my four kids were so close to him. And my four grandchildren will hear the stories. At our wedding I made sure that my two oldest grandchildren (girls in the wedding) got a photo of them with their great-grandparents. I thought it was important. I’ll watch the Pat’s game and UConn Men play at 4. It is what my dad would want me to do. God, how will I get over this? Sorry. I’ll be just fine…soon.

The U Turn on the GW Bridge

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on December 13, 2014

Posted in: family, Saturday 9. 16 Comments

Thanks to Gal for authoring this meme. Click on the Sat-9 title of song on the next line to play.

Saturday 9: Feliz Navidad (1970)

Unfamiliar with this week’s tune? Hear it here.

1. “Feliz Navidad” is Spanish for “Merry Christmas.” Can you wish us happy holidays in a language other than English or Spanish? No. Can you wiggle your ears? Your turn.

2. According to ASCAP (the American Association of Composers, Authors and Publishers), this is one of the 20 most played holiday songs of the last 10 years. What’s the most recent carol that you heard? “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” I am really happy that John wrote a song for the holidays that has endured.

3. Which Christmas song do you hope you never hear again? The one with Grandma or someone got run over by a reindeer. I also hate new songs and Christmas albums by pop stars. Oh. And anything country.

4. This week’s featured artist, Jose Feliciano, was honored to perform this song at the tree lighting ceremony at the Kennedy Center in Washington, DC. If you were to win a trip to our nation’s capital, which sites would you visit? The White House. I’d hop the fence and try to meet Obama. I don’t think this has ever been done before. Ah – what’s that? Oh. In that case, I got nothing.

5. As a very young child, Jose taught himself to play the accordion. If you could suddenly, easily learn to play any instrument, which would you choose? Guitar. I’d love to write a song.

6. Jose says that hearing early 1950s rock on the radio made him want to become a singer. What’s your favorite music genre? Rock. From Buddy Holly through The Imagine Dragons. I can’t get enough new music. I general track Alternative, Adult Alternative and Adult Contemporary. I have Paul’s new single “Hope for the Future”. I have his new tribute, “The Art of McCartney”. I also have “New” but other than the title song, I wasn’t thrilled with it.

7. At 17, Jose had to drop out of school to help support his family. Too young to enter bars, he played guitar in coffee houses for tips. Have you ever worked a job where you regularly received gratuities? No, but as a DJ in nightclubs, I was offered money to play songs. As long as it fit my disco/rock hybrid format I’d take the bribe.

8. Jose and wife Susan have been together for more than 40 years. Who is the happiest married couple you know? Ex-WTIT DJ Cos has been married 30 years and my brother and his wife nearly forty. Both seem amazingly happy. I only lasted 17 at the longest. I’m not sure what it all means. But I got it right for me at this age and stage. I’m not sure how I would have gotten through this week with the loss of my dad without her.

9. Jose wrote and performed the theme of the 1970s show, Chico and the Man. What’s your current favorite TV show? For comedy I’d say “Mom”. For drama I’ll go with “Scorpion”.

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As my previous post said, I buried my dad yesterday. I thought I’d share my eulogy with you.

Thank you for taking the time to join us today for celebrating the life of my dad, Bierne. He was more than just a “dad” to me. He was my mentor, my hero and most importantly one of my best friends. He loved people. He loved a good time. When he first started to sing at piano bars some twenty years ago, most nights I was at his side. He did not have the best voice or talent, but he cared about the message of the song and he gave every ounce of his being in a performance.

Dad was about fairness and equality. He stressed that we not judge others by the color of their skin or the god that they worshiped. He had no patience for intolerance. When my dad and I were partners in the hotel business, we needed some rooms carpeted. We always used the same local store. One day Harold, the owner of the carpet business told me that dad had saved his butt in high school. The man was Jewish and said that he would never forget the time when he surrounded and taunted with anti-Semitic slurs. My dad saw this and ran over to Harold. Dad told the group to leave Harold alone and that they would have to get through him first. The biggest of the group came forward and dad took him on. That kid ended up running away, so did the rest of the punks. I had never heard the story. Harold said he was never picked on again because he now was a friend of Bierne’s. After the carpet man left I asked Dad about it. He said he barely remembered the incident, but did say that sometimes somebody needs to be a stand up guy. And when it came to prejudice, he had no time for it, because my dad was always a stand up guy.

He was elated when the Mets came to New York. It meant that the Cubs would be back in New York and we could go to some games. I remember Mark and I and dad sitting at the Polo Grounds to watch our first game. Before the first pitch my dad said to me, because I am Yankee’s fan that for every Mets-Cubs game we went to that he’d bring us to a Yankees game. He never broke that promise. In those days fans could walk on the field to get to their seats. Dad made sure at my first game that we stood in centerfield to see the Yankee monuments. Some of my greatest memories are of Mark and I with dad going to New York.

Dad had a terrible sense of direction. We got lost trying to get out of New York. Which time? Every time. The incident that I remember best was when he got lost and realized that we were on the George Washington bridge headed south to New Jersey. He decided to do a u-turn on the bridge, which was possible in those days. As soon as he did it, he got pulled over. The cop was not pleased. He lectured dad about what he did with kids in the car. My dad was always the diplomat. He explained that we had just seen a Yankees game and he was concerned that we got home and to bed. The officer looked at Mark and me and said, “OK. You got cute kids and I am a dad myself. Just promise me you won’t do this again.” My dad promised, and didn’t even get a ticket. He kept that promise. We still got lost leaving New York every time but we never got on a bridge again.

As you know, Dad was captain of the 1945 UConn Huskies. By 1978 Dad and Mark had been going to UConn games for a while. Dad asked me if I wanted to join them for a game. It was at BU and our seats were lousy. The UConn crowd was small but loud. It took one game and I was hooked. Being a fan then was a major commitment. It was before the Big East and they were never on TV. Mark, Dad and I traveled to games throughout New England. When the Big East was formed everything changed. I remember in 1999 I took a two hour lunch because UConn was in the Elite Eight and if they won they’d be in the Final Four. When they won I found myself crying. I was so happy that dad was still around to see it happen. Of course I had no idea that he’d ultimately see four national championships.

He was all about family. A couple of weeks ago when I went to visit him I was supposed to go with Diane. Diane had sprained her ankle badly and didn’t come. He asked me why Diane didn’t come and I explained it. He said, “Will you tell Diane something?” Of course I agreed. He went on “Tell her not to worry about me. I’m fine. Tell her to just get better and that I love her.” He told my sister Amy that he was so happy that his kids all loved each other. He had never had that so he wanted it for is kids. Trust me that there are times when we do not like each other and get into an argument. But, it never goes on long. We usually call the one not in the argument and everything works out. We do love each other. It was because Dad taught us that family was everything.

My dad was an atheist. Me, I was raised Catholic but since I was about 14 I’m just an agnostic. One night before going to Apricot’s where he was going to sing he said that we were both atheists. I reminded him I was not. He laughed and said, “An agnostic is an atheist who just won’t commit.” I replied, “Atheists are like Catholics. You both think you have all the answers.” He roared. He said, “That’s a good one”. Today as I stand here I must admit that I hope we both were wrong. I hope I go to heaven and find dad at the piano bar.

My Dad was the best man that I have ever known. I know that I’m going to miss him everyday for the rest of my life. Rest in peace, Dad. Save me a stool at the piano.

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Thanks for joining us today. We’ll return. Same time. Same blog.

R.I.P. My Dad

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on December 6, 2014

Posted in: family. 5 Comments

I just want to thank you for ALL your support during a difficult time. I took my dad’s best friend to say goodbye” on Thursday. My dad beamed as he said, “Hello, Mel!” I kissed him goodbye for what would be the last time and he said, “I love you Bud…”

Happy Birhday Ben!

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on May 3, 2014

Posted in: family. Leave a comment

Happy Birhday Ben!

Wishing a BIG SHOUT out to my son Ben who turned 37 today. Ben is the most grounded & moral person that I know. I cannot express how proud I am of the man he has become. I love you Ben! Happy Birthday!!

Papa Was No Rolling Stone

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on February 8, 2014

Posted in: american idol, family, Saturday 9. 14 Comments

Thanks to The Gal for hosting Sat-9! To play, click here.

Dad & I

1)This week’s song was once named the favorite love song of Bud Wiser, the godfather to this humble blog. With Valentine’s Day coming up, what’s your favorite love song? How can I answer this? You’ve done it for me. Seriously, it always changes. At my age, getting drunk and screwing isn’t a great combo. I’ll go with Adele’s “Make You Feel My Love”.

2) When this song was first released back in 1973, the “Why don’t we get drunk and screw?” refrain was considered shocking. With the explicit sexual content in many of today’s songs, it now hardly raises an eyebrow. When is the last time you were shocked? (Not just by a song, by anything at all.) My dad is recovering from a heart procedure. He’s lost his appetite (he’s 88) and went from 175 lbs to 150lbs. He’s a bit confused and we had to steal his car to assure no driving. I am taking him out to sing tonight. I cried for him and it has been a long time since that’s happened. It’s all shocking to me, but his weight loss is shocking me the most.

3) Buffett named his first daughter Savannah, presumably after his favorite city. Tell us about your favorite city. Boston, Chicago, New York & Atlanta. I would have loved living in a big city. It only happened once. I was the sales manager at The Rock of Boston, WBCN.

4) Mr. Buffett opened a Margaritaville Casino in Atlantic City. Have you ever gambled in Atlantic City? What about Las Vegas? I’ve been to Vegas a couple of times. The last was with my son Ben for his stag 6 and a half years ago. Mohegan Sun is in Connecticut. Kathy and I spent Christmas night there in 2010. We just did video poker. I’m not much of a gambler.

5) Saving Florida’s manatees is a cause near and dear to Jimmy Buffett’s heart. If we were to make a $100 contribution to any charity in your honor, which would you choose? That is a great cause because of the injuries that manates get from boats. At the moment fighting Alzheimer’s would be my choice.6) If today was your birthday, your astrological sign would be Aquarius. How often do you check your horoscope? Close to never. I am not much of a believer of anything except The Beatles. It is the closest thing I have to a religion. I support all beliefs as long as you don’t try to tell me about yours.

7) On this date in 1974, the show Good Times (“Dy-no-mite!”) premiered and, much to Sam’s confusion and chagrin, still enjoys an audience in syndication. Tell us about a pop culture phenomenon that you just never got into. Rap and hip hop. I really understand their allure, but for me alternative music is what speaks to me.

8) Is there a home improvement project on your list of things to do? After 10 back surgeries, no.

9) A warm-weather choice to consider on a February day: Ice cream sundae or banana split? I don’t eat much ice cream. That’s Kathy’s poison. Just pour me a Smirnoff, Ketel One or Ciroc and I’m good to go.

Sorry this wasn’t funny today. My oldest son Ben is coming over (from Boston) to take me out to lunch. Tonight I’m with my dad as he sings at a piano bar. I love Idol this season. Urban, JLo and Harry are terrific. The new format is great. It’s only one of two reality shows that I can handle. (“Bar Rescue” is the other one.) I’m sure that you’ve read that one of the original DJs, the one that I recorded the very first tape with, has return to the fold. His handle is Bouncing Billy and he had not joined us since 1985. He returned last year been and has been recording with us ever since. Peace & love. See you again. Same time, same blog.