We are on vacation this week, spending the week at the New Jersey shore. We are with our daughter Heather and her family and my son Ben and his wife. One of our ALL TIME POPULAR features at WTIT: The Blog was written by Lola. Before there was Crazy Sam and her Saturday 9, there was Lola. Lola wrote a blog named Saturday 8. The biggest difference is these Saturday memes was that Lola wrote very long questions, which both asked her question and editorialized. If you are new to this feature we think you will find some of her questions and the way that she asked them laugh-out-loud funny. Oh, and Lola hated us. If we signed in to say our answers were on our site, she would delete. But in truth, we were brutal to her, as you will see. If you remember this feature, we know you’ll enjoy a trip down memory lane. If you are new to it, have a blast! Lola’s questions are in bold.

the sat-8 :: religion and aging. Hi Lola! Even before I read these questions I am guessing that you could not think of eight religious questions. Or eight aging questions, either.

1. are you a religious person? As much as I think both my readers and your tiny brain would just be “hanging on the edge of their seat” to know this about me, I’ll pass. I write a fucking humor blog. When I do “WGOD Tape Radio: The Blog” I’ll get back to you.

2. are you a spiritual person? Lola, here we go again. You are writing only eight questions. Why write these first two as separate questions? And while I rant, I am surprised you haven’t used your wonderful trademark, “why/why not?”

3. were you raised in a religious household? Yes. I was raised by Trumadoor Triads in Costa Rica. I was left as an orphan on their doorstep. While I was safe and educated, the Triad monks did not even tell me about all things worldly until I was fifteen. Then, they let me smoke, drink beer and bring hookers back to the mission. I miss those religious days.

4. have you/do you/would you raise your children in a religious household? I’ve stated before that I have 73 children but only four have tracked me down. When they did, I dropped them off at a Triad Mission. My son Pedro refuses to leave. He is 27.

5. i’m turning 35 years old this year, but i’m often mistaken as being at least ten years younger. in fact, people rarely believe that my 13-yr. old is actually my daughter, and swear that she’s my sister. are you mistaken for being older or younger than you truly are? Gag me with a pitchfork. People think that you are younger because of your limited intellect and total lack of sophistication. As far as your daughter goes, they are probably really thinking, “What kind of God would let Lola breed?”

6. when my husband and i first married, he looked like he was still in high school and i was often (jokingly) accused of robbing the cradle – we’re the same age. a month ago, one of my husband’s aunts thought that he was my FATHER (vindication!). do you and your significant other appear to be significantly younger or older than each other? Thanks for putting that “(jokingly)” in there. No one would have understood what you meant without it. But that’s okay. Most don’t understand what you mean at all. So your husband’s aunts thought he was your father. Lola you total moron, that would make him their brother. I am so sure this happened in perhaps a VERY old person’s nursing home. I am right aren’’t I?

7. there is an agency called the american association of anti-aging medicine that is dedicated to the advancement of therapeutics related to the science of longevity medicine. would you consult such an agency or other medical office for supplements, advice, etc. to help you increase your longevity? There is an agency called the american association of brainless meme writers that is dedicated to the advancement of therapeutics related to the science of putting incredibly stupid people out of their and our misery. Do you think I should call on your behalf? At no charge?

8. OT … what are you doing for fun this weekend? You couldn’t think of eight religious questions so you added “aging”. Now you still can’t do eight questions with two subjects so you ask us to respond to this brain teaser? And how is his“OT” (overtime)? OT would be nine questions, and we know you won’t get there. See you next Saturday, Lola. If they let you out of your cage again, that is…

We are on vacation this week, spending the week at the New Jersey shore. We are with our daughter Heather and her family and my son Ben and his wife. One of our ALL TIME POPULAR features at WTIT: The Blog was written by Lola. Before there was Crazy Sam and her Saturday 9, there was Lola. Lola wrote a blog named Saturday 8. The biggest difference is these Saturday memes was that Lola wrote very long questions, which both asked her question and editorialized. If you are new to this feature we think you will find some of her questions and the way that she asked them laugh-out-loud funny. Oh, and Lola hated us. If we signed in to say our answers were on our site, she would delete. But in truth, we were brutal to her, as you will see. If you remember this feature, we know you’ll enjoy a trip down memory lane. If you are new to it, have a blast! Lola’s questions are in bold.

the sat-8 :: religion and aging. Hi Lola! Even before I read these questions I am guessing that you could not think of eight religious questions. Or eight aging questions, either.

1. are you a religious person? As much as I think both my readers and your tiny brain would just be “hanging on the edge of their seat” to know this about me, I’ll pass. I write a fucking humor blog. When I do “WGOD Tape Radio: The Blog” I’ll get back to you.

2. are you a spiritual person? Lola, here we go again. You are writing only eight questions. Why write these first two as separate questions? And while I rant, I am surprised you haven’t used your wonderful trademark, “why/why not?”

3. were you raised in a religious household? Yes. I was raised by Trumadoor Triads in Costa Rica. I was left as an orphan on their doorstep. While I was safe and educated, the Triad monks did not even tell me about all things worldly until I was fifteen. Then, they let me smoke, drink beer and bring hookers back to the mission. I miss those religious days.

4. have you/do you/would you raise your children in a religious household? I’ve stated before that I have 73 children but only four have tracked me down. When they did, I dropped them off at a Triad Mission. My son Pedro refuses to leave. He is 27.

5. i’m turning 35 years old this year, but i’m often mistaken as being at least ten years younger. in fact, people rarely believe that my 13-yr. old is actually my daughter, and swear that she’s my sister. are you mistaken for being older or younger than you truly are? Gag me with a pitchfork. People think that you are younger because of your limited intellect and total lack of sophistication. As far as your daughter goes, they are probably really thinking, “What kind of God would let Lola breed?”

6. when my husband and i first married, he looked like he was still in high school and i was often (jokingly) accused of robbing the cradle – we’re the same age. a month ago, one of my husband’s aunts thought that he was my FATHER (vindication!). do you and your significant other appear to be significantly younger or older than each other? Thanks for putting that “(jokingly)” in there. No one would have understood what you meant without it. But that’s okay. Most don’t understand what you mean at all. So your husband’s aunts thought he was your father. Lola you total moron, that would make him their brother. I am so sure this happened in perhaps a VERY old person’s nursing home. I am right aren’’t I?

7. there is an agency called the american association of anti-aging medicine that is dedicated to the advancement of therapeutics related to the science of longevity medicine. would you consult such an agency or other medical office for supplements, advice, etc. to help you increase your longevity? There is an agency called the american association of brainless meme writers that is dedicated to the advancement of therapeutics related to the science of putting incredibly stupid people out of their and our misery. Do you think I should call on your behalf? At no charge?

8. OT … what are you doing for fun this weekend? You couldn’t think of eight religious questions so you added “aging”. Now you still can’t do eight questions with two subjects so you ask us to respond to this brain teaser? And how is his“OT” (overtime)? OT would be nine questions, and we know you won’t get there. See you next Saturday, Lola. If they let you out of your cage again, that is…

We are on vacation this week, spending the week at the New Jersey shore. We are with our daughter Heather and her family and my son Ben and his wife. One of our ALL TIME POPULAR features at WTIT: The Blog was written by Lola. Before there was Crazy Sam and her Saturday 9, there was Lola. Lola wrote a blog named Saturday 8. The biggest difference is these Saturday memes was that Lola wrote very long questions, which both asked her question and editorialized. If you are new to this feature we think you will find some of her questions and the way that she asked them laugh-out-loud funny. Oh, and Lola hated us. If we signed in to say our answers were on our site, she would delete. But in truth, we were brutal to her, as you will see. If you remember this feature, we know you’ll enjoy a trip down memory lane. If you are new to it, have a blast! Lola’s questions are in bold.

sat-8 :: the friend edition!

1. do you make friends easily? Extremely easily. Although I usually have to actually pay them to be my friend.

2. do you have many close friends? No. I am not rich enough to pay a lot of people.

3. tell us about your oldest friend. Oldest? Fred Smalbals. He’s 87. He’s in a home and is so forgetful now that I don’t have to pay him anymore. When we visit he always says, “Oh. It’s you again. Pay me first or go away.” I usually convince him that last week I paid him for this week. We still have great times.

4. tell us about your newest friend. Who knew the French twins had a sister? I didn’t for one. There we were, lying in bed, watching a film and another beauty enters the room. Before I can ask “Who is she?” the woman asks who I am. Monique said, “We told you about the guy downstairs.” The woman said, “I thought he’d be taller.” Monique said, “Bridget, he is lying down.” Bridget thought for a second, “Oh that explains it.” I never said anyone in this family was a rocket scientist, now did I?

5. do you hang out with your friends often, or just occasionally when you can find time? Neither. People will only see me when they have absolutely no other alternative. Other than Fred, I think I last hung out with a friend for a half-hour last April.

6. what’s the furthest you’ve travelled to visit (or vacation with, etc.) a friend? Living in northern Connecticut, I once convinced a friend to go all the way to southern Massachusetts. About seven miles away. What an adventure that was!!

7. what’s the biggest or best thing a friend has ever done for you? Every once in a blue moon we split the check at a bar. Since I usually pay them to go with me, I pick up the check as well. But when they pay half, I get all warm and tingly!

8. what’s the worst or most hurtful thing that a friend (or an ex-friend) has done to you? Once a guy named Rich Litelpeker orgainized a meeting of all my friends. I was not included. It turned out they met because they all wanted to charge me more and formed a union of sorts.

That’s it for Lola today’s Best of Lola.

Thanks for dropping by on your Hump Day.

If you ever need a friend, email me.

I’ll send you back my lists of what I’d pay you.

Tomorrow the WTIT Blog will

do Lola again, so-to-speak.
Same time. Same blog. Goodnight, Lola.

We are on vacation this week, spending the week at the New Jersey shore. We are with our daughter Heather and her family and my son Ben and his wife. One of our ALL TIME POPULAR features at WTIT: The Blog was written by Lola. Before there was Crazy Sam and her Saturday 9, there was Lola. Lola wrote a blog named Saturday 8. The biggest difference is these Saturday memes was that Lola wrote very long questions, which both asked her question and editorialized. If you are new to this feature we think you will find some of her questions and the way that she asked them laugh-out-loud funny. Oh, and Lola hated us. If we signed in to say our answers were on our site, she would delete. But in truth, we were brutal to her, as you will see. If you remember this feature, we know you’ll enjoy a trip down memory lane. If you are new to it, have a blast! Lola’s questions are in bold.

sat-8 :: the friend edition!

1. do you make friends easily? Extremely easily. Although I usually have to actually pay them to be my friend.

2. do you have many close friends? No. I am not rich enough to pay a lot of people.

3. tell us about your oldest friend. Oldest? Fred Smalbals. He’s 87. He’s in a home and is so forgetful now that I don’t have to pay him anymore. When we visit he always says, “Oh. It’s you again. Pay me first or go away.” I usually convince him that last week I paid him for this week. We still have great times.

4. tell us about your newest friend. Who knew the French twins had a sister? I didn’t for one. There we were, lying in bed, watching a film and another beauty enters the room. Before I can ask “Who is she?” the woman asks who I am. Monique said, “We told you about the guy downstairs.” The woman said, “I thought he’d be taller.” Monique said, “Bridget, he is lying down.” Bridget thought for a second, “Oh that explains it.” I never said anyone in this family was a rocket scientist, now did I?

5. do you hang out with your friends often, or just occasionally when you can find time? Neither. People will only see me when they have absolutely no other alternative. Other than Fred, I think I last hung out with a friend for a half-hour last April.

6. what’s the furthest you’ve travelled to visit (or vacation with, etc.) a friend? Living in northern Connecticut, I once convinced a friend to go all the way to southern Massachusetts. About seven miles away. What an adventure that was!!

7. what’s the biggest or best thing a friend has ever done for you? Every once in a blue moon we split the check at a bar. Since I usually pay them to go with me, I pick up the check as well. But when they pay half, I get all warm and tingly!

8. what’s the worst or most hurtful thing that a friend (or an ex-friend) has done to you? Once a guy named Rich Litelpeker orgainized a meeting of all my friends. I was not included. It turned out they met because they all wanted to charge me more and formed a union of sorts.

That’s it for Lola today’s Best of Lola.

Thanks for dropping by on your Hump Day.

If you ever need a friend, email me.

I’ll send you back my lists of what I’d pay you.

Tomorrow the WTIT Blog will

do Lola again, so-to-speak.
Same time. Same blog. Goodnight, Lola.

We are on vacation this week, spending the week at the New Jersey shore. We are with our daughter Heather and her family and my son Ben and his wife. One of our ALL TIME POPULAR features at WTIT: The Blog was written by Lola. Before there was Crazy Sam and her Saturday 9, there was Lola. Lola wrote a blog named Saturday 8. The biggest difference is these Saturday memes was that Lola wrote very long questions, which both asked her question and editorialized. If you are new to this feature we think you will find some of her questions and the way that she asked them laugh-out-loud funny. Oh, and Lola hated us. If we signed in to say our answers were on our site, she would delete. But in truth, we were brutal to her, as you will see. If you remember this feature, we know you’ll enjoy a trip down memory lane. If you are new to it, have a blast! Lola’s questions are in bold.

sat-8 :: the friend edition!

1. do you make friends easily? Extremely easily. Although I usually have to actually pay them to be my friend.

2. do you have many close friends? No. I am not rich enough to pay a lot of people.

3. tell us about your oldest friend. Oldest? Fred Smalbals. He’s 87. He’s in a home and is so forgetful now that I don’t have to pay him anymore. When we visit he always says, “Oh. It’s you again. Pay me first or go away.” I usually convince him that last week I paid him for this week. We still have great times.

4. tell us about your newest friend. Who knew the French twins had a sister? I didn’t for one. There we were, lying in bed, watching a film and another beauty enters the room. Before I can ask “Who is she?” the woman asks who I am. Monique said, “We told you about the guy downstairs.” The woman said, “I thought he’d be taller.” Monique said, “Bridget, he is lying down.” Bridget thought for a second, “Oh that explains it.” I never said anyone in this family was a rocket scientist, now did I?

5. do you hang out with your friends often, or just occasionally when you can find time? Neither. People will only see me when they have absolutely no other alternative. Other than Fred, I think I last hung out with a friend for a half-hour last April.

6. what’s the furthest you’ve travelled to visit (or vacation with, etc.) a friend? Living in northern Connecticut, I once convinced a friend to go all the way to southern Massachusetts. About seven miles away. What an adventure that was!!

7. what’s the biggest or best thing a friend has ever done for you? Every once in a blue moon we split the check at a bar. Since I usually pay them to go with me, I pick up the check as well. But when they pay half, I get all warm and tingly!

8. what’s the worst or most hurtful thing that a friend (or an ex-friend) has done to you? Once a guy named Rich Litelpeker orgainized a meeting of all my friends. I was not included. It turned out they met because they all wanted to charge me more and formed a union of sorts.

That’s it for Lola today’s Best of Lola.

Thanks for dropping by on your Hump Day.

If you ever need a friend, email me.

I’ll send you back my lists of what I’d pay you.

Tomorrow the WTIT Blog will

do Lola again, so-to-speak.
Same time. Same blog. Goodnight, Lola.

We are on vacation this week, spending the week at the New Jersey shore. We are with our daughter Heather and her family and my son Ben and his wife. One of our ALL TIME POPULAR features at WTIT: The Blog was written by Lola. Before there was Crazy Sam and her Saturday 9, there was Lola. Lola wrote a blog named Saturday 8. The biggest difference is these Saturday memes was that Lola wrote very long questions, which both asked her question and editorialized. If you are new to this feature we think you will find some of her questions and the way that she asked them laugh-out-loud funny. Oh, and Lola hated us. If we signed in to say our answers were on our site, she would delete. But in truth, we were brutal to her, as you will see. If you remember this feature, we know you’ll enjoy a trip down memory lane. If you are new to it, have a blast! Lola’s questions are in bold.

sat8:: dances with lions

1. i’m HOME! it was a long, two-week trip, but i’m back Stateside. what was the last travel experience you had? It was a cold night, as I remember. I had trouble sleeping. I smoked my last cigarette and then I saw the lights. It was an aircraft, but even in all my years in the Air Force, I had seen nothing even remotely simular. The beam from the spaceship transported me inside. The aliens were small with large eyes. They told me telepathically that they were headed for Uranus. “My anus?” I said. I thought, “This might hurt!” The answer is Atlanta.

2. i read 3 books in a week. what was the last book you completed? Recently I read “War and Peace”. How stupid! You can’t have it both ways. Mimi does not do “War Globes” now does she? And from what I understand only George W. sings “All we are saying is ‘Give War a Chance’”. The next was “A Tale of Two Cities”. I thought, “couldn’t you tell me about one city and then do a sequel?”

3. i saw 6 or 7 movies in the last two weeks. what was the last movie that you watched? “Debbie Does Dallas, Volume 13”. I felt while it wasn’t up to the artistic level of the first twelve, the film was still an exciting adventure. I’d still give it a “Thumbs Up!”

4. my flight was 7.5 hours long to and from iceland. what was your last flight, and where was it to/from? Antarctica. I was part of a field team employed by “Animal Planet”. We studied the mating rituals of the Emerald Black-Back Penguin. I was confident with the team. It was coincidently the crew who did that great “Swimming With Sting-Rays” special last year with Steve Irwin.

5. i have decided to skip christmas cards this year due to the fact that i worked my 2 jobs right up until i left for iceland. did you send out christmas/hanukkah/new year’s cards this year? You decided to “skip” sending Christmas cards? Lola, you Scrooge-like little goblin! Just because you work two jobs and go to Iceland, you expect a pass on your selfish behavior? I think not. It must be why your stocking might get coal on the WTIT site! Me, I didn’t send any out, either. I was busy writing a very important blog.

6. i have been sick with a stomach bug i picked up in iceland

since wednesday. what was the last illness that you had? I was in Africa filming “Dances With Lions”. It’s Kevin Costner’s sequel to his “Wolves” film. I came down with “Yellow Fever”. If it wasn’t for a witch doctor in Kenya, I’d be dead. Thanks for asking. I love reliving my “near death” experiences.

7. while in iceland, Bank of America LOCKED my debit card … twice. i’d let them know that i was travelling, but they decided to lock it anyway due to the fact that no one was smart enough to put the required code on my account. i now have to get back $100 in cellphone bills from them that was NOT necessary as i’d taken care of my responsibilities before i’d left. when was the last time you were ‘screwed’ by a corporation/service? The last time I got “screwed” is none of your business. Perhaps soon, one can only hope. I’ll get back to you with the video if it all works out.

8. i am not sure what i’m doing for christmas and have no

idea where i’m spending it or if i’m going to be travelling

that day, etc. what are your christmas plans if you celebrate? if not, what are you doing on the 25th? First of all let me say this: With your sparkling personality and wit, I am shocked no one wants you at Christmas. Perhaps you should have sent out those fucking Christmas cards! I’ll be with Jill Hennessy. I did a thing on this blog to promote Crossing Jordan last year. We are planning to drink shots of Jose Cuervo or Don Julio. Jill thinks I am cute for a “slightly mature person”.

We hope you planning to join us tomorrow.

WTIT: The Blog will return tomorrow with more Lola . Same time. Same blog. Same stupidity.

We hope you’ll waste some time with us then as well!

We are on vacation this week, spending the week at the New Jersey shore. We are with our daughter Heather and her family and my son Ben and his wife. One of our ALL TIME POPULAR features at WTIT: The Blog was written by Lola. Before there was Crazy Sam and her Saturday 9, there was Lola. Lola wrote a blog named Saturday 8. The biggest difference is these Saturday memes was that Lola wrote very long questions, which both asked her question and editorialized. If you are new to this feature we think you will find some of her questions and the way that she asked them laugh-out-loud funny. Oh, and Lola hated us. If we signed in to say our answers were on our site, she would delete. But in truth, we were brutal to her, as you will see. If you remember this feature, we know you’ll enjoy a trip down memory lane. If you are new to it, have a blast! Lola’s questions are in bold.

sat8:: dances with lions

1. i’m HOME! it was a long, two-week trip, but i’m back Stateside. what was the last travel experience you had? It was a cold night, as I remember. I had trouble sleeping. I smoked my last cigarette and then I saw the lights. It was an aircraft, but even in all my years in the Air Force, I had seen nothing even remotely simular. The beam from the spaceship transported me inside. The aliens were small with large eyes. They told me telepathically that they were headed for Uranus. “My anus?” I said. I thought, “This might hurt!” The answer is Atlanta.

2. i read 3 books in a week. what was the last book you completed? Recently I read “War and Peace”. How stupid! You can’t have it both ways. Mimi does not do “War Globes” now does she? And from what I understand only George W. sings “All we are saying is ‘Give War a Chance’”. The next was “A Tale of Two Cities”. I thought, “couldn’t you tell me about one city and then do a sequel?”

3. i saw 6 or 7 movies in the last two weeks. what was the last movie that you watched? “Debbie Does Dallas, Volume 13”. I felt while it wasn’t up to the artistic level of the first twelve, the film was still an exciting adventure. I’d still give it a “Thumbs Up!”

4. my flight was 7.5 hours long to and from iceland. what was your last flight, and where was it to/from? Antarctica. I was part of a field team employed by “Animal Planet”. We studied the mating rituals of the Emerald Black-Back Penguin. I was confident with the team. It was coincidently the crew who did that great “Swimming With Sting-Rays” special last year with Steve Irwin.

5. i have decided to skip christmas cards this year due to the fact that i worked my 2 jobs right up until i left for iceland. did you send out christmas/hanukkah/new year’s cards this year? You decided to “skip” sending Christmas cards? Lola, you Scrooge-like little goblin! Just because you work two jobs and go to Iceland, you expect a pass on your selfish behavior? I think not. It must be why your stocking might get coal on the WTIT site! Me, I didn’t send any out, either. I was busy writing a very important blog.

6. i have been sick with a stomach bug i picked up in iceland

since wednesday. what was the last illness that you had? I was in Africa filming “Dances With Lions”. It’s Kevin Costner’s sequel to his “Wolves” film. I came down with “Yellow Fever”. If it wasn’t for a witch doctor in Kenya, I’d be dead. Thanks for asking. I love reliving my “near death” experiences.

7. while in iceland, Bank of America LOCKED my debit card … twice. i’d let them know that i was travelling, but they decided to lock it anyway due to the fact that no one was smart enough to put the required code on my account. i now have to get back $100 in cellphone bills from them that was NOT necessary as i’d taken care of my responsibilities before i’d left. when was the last time you were ‘screwed’ by a corporation/service? The last time I got “screwed” is none of your business. Perhaps soon, one can only hope. I’ll get back to you with the video if it all works out.

8. i am not sure what i’m doing for christmas and have no

idea where i’m spending it or if i’m going to be travelling

that day, etc. what are your christmas plans if you celebrate? if not, what are you doing on the 25th? First of all let me say this: With your sparkling personality and wit, I am shocked no one wants you at Christmas. Perhaps you should have sent out those fucking Christmas cards! I’ll be with Jill Hennessy. I did a thing on this blog to promote Crossing Jordan last year. We are planning to drink shots of Jose Cuervo or Don Julio. Jill thinks I am cute for a “slightly mature person”.

We hope you planning to join us tomorrow.

WTIT: The Blog will return tomorrow with more Lola . Same time. Same blog. Same stupidity.

We hope you’ll waste some time with us then as well!