sat8 :: morbidity?
a close family friend passed this week, so we’re going to take a look at the (lighter) side of death, just like he wanted it!
1. my friend’s dad refused to let him create a formal funeral for him.
some people need to grieve with a such a ceremony. do you need a formal “goodbye” to properly grieve? Yes. I generally will wear my best tux.
2. we’re getting together with a huge BBQ and lots of alcohol, which was his request, in a few weeks to memorialise him. would you prefer this to a formal ceremony? I really do not think there is anything better than “lots of alcohol”. It’s hard to improve on that. Add a doobie, maybe.
3. i plan on having a mausoleum to be buried in, full of fat little ma
rble cherubs and a nice place for my kids to come and sit & talk to me after i go. what’s your final resting place going to look like? God am I glad I am not one of your kids. You want a tomb, perhaps something in a used pyramid. Trust me, the kids won’t be coming around to “chat” to a fucking wall.
4. my friend is out of touch with everyone, which is understandable. however, he’s not even ringing up his live-in girlfriend to keep her apprised of his pl
ans. his mother, on the other hand, is on the phone nonstop talking to everyone. when you grieve, do you shut yourself away from friends/family, or do you need them there with you to help ease the pain? Your friend is now out of touch? Death has a way of doing that. Tell his girlfriend it is hard for a corpse to ring her up. Tell his mother to get off the fucking phone.
5. the first pet i lost was a marmalade tom named herman. herman got eaten by an alligator (no, i’m serious). i remember being 5 yrs. old and my parents telling me that herman was seen getting gobbled up by an alligator. who was the first pet you lost as a child? I had a pet alligator that choked to death on a big fat house cat.
6. when i was about 9 years old, my friend and her brothers we
re killed in a drunk-driving accident. it was the first funeral i’d ever gone to. do you remember your first funeral?Technically
my first funeral will be my last. Has anyone ever taught you english so that your questions could make some sort of , well, sense?
7. for centuries, people have been buried in mass graves due to disease, convenience, or war crimes, etc. do you feel mass graves are ok because we’re simply a mass of cells which can be broken down, or do you feel that every single person who dies deserves a solitary resting place with a marker, etc.? Are you shitting me? Give me a mass grave. It must be very lonely in a solo coffin.
8. OT question – i have a work semi-formal ceremony to go to tonight. are y
ou the type that likes to go to company-sponsored lavish events where everyone dresses up to hit the open bar with free gourmet food, OR would you prefer something that’s quiet and more reserved, like a “thank-you” lunch? I don’t even want to meet a person who’d answer this question with “a thank-you lunch”. This question has nothing to do with anything. Lola, you are losing it. That is, if you ever had it all. An open bar is like sitting on the right hand of God. No wonder you went out of business last February.
That is about as much damage I
that can do to your Saturday.
WTIT: The Blog will return
tomorrow with a new post!
Unless our vacation totally wore us out.
That is it for Lola. We will return.
Same time. Same blog. Goodbye Lola.