Time in a Bottle

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Cheers to all of us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: Mimi’s Mess

1. How many gravy boats do you have in your kitchen? Zero. But I used to have some of the greatest boats in history in what I called “Bud’s Naval Armada”.

2. Do the clothes in your laundry basket need ironing? Mimi wrote this? Did she steal this shit from Thursday Thunks?

3. What is the last thing you wallpapered? I did my son Ben’s room in our condo before he was born. That was 1977. He’s now 43.

4. Wooden floors or carpet? These days everyone prefers woody. Or is that “a woody”. You decide about that. Go kiss your husband. See if you can give him one.

5. Why do we put out guest towels if no one is supposed to use them? Maybe…now get this…you don’t always know when company calls. Or you are clairvoyant. Those folks always knows when someone comes. If you are still holding that woody, you can figure out exactly when someone comes.

6. If your spatula could talk, what would it say about your duvet? What would my duvet say about me?

7. Have you replaced the batteries in your smoke alarms this year? The thrills never stop with this fucker. The Queen should have scrapped this one. She should pack if you ask me. What? I know you didn’t ask me.

8. If you could put thyme in a bottle, what is the first thing that you’d like to do? Sing along. I love Jim Croce.

9. Do eggs really crack or do they merely have a nervous breakdown? This is an answer that writes itself. You need to a shrink to evaluate this shit.

10. Why are you whipping the butter? What did it ever do to you? I am not whipping butter. It makes my flipping heart flutter. Sam I am.

11. Do your spoons spoon in the drawer? Have you ever noticed? And more importantly, if wooden spoons spoon do they get splinters? We are going over the waterfall with this meme.

12. You hear: “Dumpling, my Dumpling, come hither.” The candles are lit, the fondue is dipping, the Godiva is pouring, the scallions are steaming and the music is playing…..but wait, the windows are open. Why did you close them? She smelt snow.

13. Do you need a recipe to cook or are you a bohemian chef? I buy Stoffer’s if you must know.

14. Is your pot black? Bite me.

15. What is the sexiest spice or condiment in your cabinet? What makes it so? Tabasco. It gets you hot fast. You can take your hand off your husband’s woody now.

As much as I’m (as you are I hope) going crazy in pandemic America. We will return to this very spot. Same time. Same blog.

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