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Cheers to all of us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: Fewer Than 5,000 Questions

1. Have you read anything by C.S. Lewis? If I did it was an accident. I know I am going to shock you but I don’t read books anymore. I read three newspapers a day. As far as my fiction, I get it from movies. I know everyone of you love books. Enjoy!

2. What is your favorite movie with Jack Nicholson? Kwizgiver’s blog title.

3. What rhymes with ‘orange’? This may be the stupidest meme question of all time. No, wait. The question is better than most of the posts I’ve done on this site. Sorry, Bev. I do know how hard it is to host.

4. Have you ever swallowed an object by accident? Nope. Have you ever swallowed anything other than food on purpose?

5. Is your eyesight 20/20? It was better until I hit 40. That’s when I bought readers. So far the rest is no longer 20/20 but so far I even had them tested.

6. Have you ever had insomnia? Can I get back to you? I was up all night.

7. Does it bother you when people touch you? Only in a “get your attention thing. My dad

My dad at my half sister’s wedding.

would start tapping my arm to get my attention. I asked him not to do it. He never did again. How I wish he were still here. He could tap my arm all day.

8. Is it better to get too much or too little sleep? IMO, there is no such thing as too much sleep. Since I’ve retired I can sleep anytime I want.

9. What gets your adrenaline pumping? Good old rock ‘n roll. My love of music has been a constant. That and WTIT. If I could go back and tell myself I’d be recording radio shows that you need to be here to hear for 52 years, I’d tell them that I would stop by college.

10. Do you ever talk about yourself in the third person? No.But here’s my best story of it. Feel free to skip it since I’ve posted it in this space before. There is a singles dance every Sunday in the Hartford area. At one time it was part of my regular routine. At the end of a busy night of dancing and enjoying myself, I saw the woman of my dreams. I gathered up the courage to walk over to meet her. (Okay, those who know me realize that this is a lie. I am very comfortable meeting people. Particularly when alcohol is involved.) Our eyes met, she smiled, “It’s the last dance, would you care to join me?” She thought for a second and responded, “Yes. My name is Dawn”. I walked to her car, got her phone number, and made my exit, stage left.

I called Dawn on Tuesday. Phone numbers are like fruit. If you don’t use them quickly, they tend to rot. “Remember me, I met you two weeks ago” is a death call. There are easier ways to get shot down or commit suicide. Hara-kiri comes to mind. Dawn answered the phone and it became obvious that she had a girlfriend over. To every question I asked she requested me to “Hold on.” Then Dawn would cover the phone before responding. “We need to meet somewhere,” Dawn insisted. I am never one to argue this point. It is a smart thing for a woman to do. Dawn’s friend insisted on this point, but neglected to make sure Dawn understood “Why” to meet a date and not have a guy pick you up. Dawn asked if I’d meet her at, now get this one, at a gas station.

So there I was, sitting at a Mobil station in Plainville to meet Dawn. Dawn was right on time, which was 5:30. Her comes the part about Dawn not “getting it.” Dawn said “Hi” and then said, “We are so close to my apartment, let’s drop my car off.” Okay, then. Dawn asks me to follow her and we are dealing with rush hour traffic. She jumps into traffic and drives off, not stopping to see if I followed. Yes, all the red flags are up now, but remember this is a beautiful, sexy woman. I
waited until she returned. “You didn’t follow me.” “Dawn,” I responded, “My car does not fly. How did you expect me to follow you?” Dawn said, “There was too much traffic, I had no choice. There is an Italian restaurant next to the gas station. Would you like to go there?” I answered in the affirmative.We are seated at what is a pizza joint not an Italian restaurant., Billy Joel did not write, “Bottle of red, bottle of white” about this hell hole. Dawn orders a wine. I assume it is a beer/wine place so I ordered a Budweiser. Now begins the adventure. Here’s the dialog:

Dawn: Bud, Dawn needs to know something.” (Oh my God, I thought, she is talking in the third person.) Dawn knows that she is a great catch for Bud. She is young, pretty and bright.Now Dawn does understand that Bud has four children. Dawn would like to get very serious with Bud. Would Bud have a child with Dawn?
Bud: Could we have dinner first?
Dawn: Dawn thinks Bud is a very funny man. But seriously, would Bud have a child with Dawn?
Bud: (I am very experienced with this type of question. I have been single for all but three years since 1990.) Dawn, yes I have four kids. I love kids. Why wouldn’t I have another?
Dawn: Dawn thinks this is REALLY encouraging. Dawn thinks that she and Bud will be together a long time.
Bud: (Now if she means that I’ll probably eat my grinder before leaving, than “yes.” It will be a LONG time) Waitress!
Waitress: Yes, Sir.
Bud: Do you have any real alcohol here?
Waitress: Why yes, sir. What can I get you?
Bud: Smirnoff Vodka, please.
Waitress: With what?
Bud: A glass and some ice. And quickly, very quickly.
Dawn: Dawn is SO happy this is going so well!!

I had another Smirnoff and paid the check. When we got outside Dawn asked, “Would Bud like to see Dawn’s apartment?” I paused, smiled and said, “Dawn, as you said, this went so well, why spoil it?” “Okay,” Dawn smiled, “When Bud picks up Dawn next time, he can see the apartment.”I am sure you are shocked. There turned out not to be a “next time”. Shocking, no? Every word is true.

11. What’s your favorite radio station? What kind of music do they play? WFAN. No music. Sports Talk. I have four iPods. I listen to my own music 24/7. I do still listen to new music. I regurlar check charts to add new music.

12. Do you believe there is anyplace still undiscovered in all the world? Take a walk in the Amazon. Or the ocean. We know nothing about most of it.

13. Ever caught a fish? Wow. I did the ocean on the last question. No I do not find it appealing in the slightest. I love fish. But somebody else can catch it.

14. Were you ever in the first row of a concert? Yes. Rod Stweart in the 80s. He asked the front row to lean on stage. It was all women then me. I stuck my arm out during Maggie Mae & He slapped me five.

15. Do you have any autographs? No. Maybe an autographed book or three. I like to be in pics with famous people. My picture with Bill Shatner is my fave.

Well it’s official. Kathy and I move to a split level ranch. It is almost the same size of what we left. I never thought I’d be in a house again. We were lucky. The location is a mile or two from where I grew up. Different town. The school system in West Hartford is the best. But by crossing that line everything gets expensive. My new town has not got that going. So we saved money and can afford it. I think we will be out of here by month’s end. As far as you knuckleheads go, we hope you’ve had some good luck, too. We will return. Same time. Same blog.