The Book of Me, Chapter 2 “In The Beginning: My Debut”
What were you told, or suspect about your mother’s pregnancy and your first free days at home? Wow. They never told me about much. Well, for this question I’d need to talk to my mom. But, she passed away this year. I was told I was born at 1 AM and my dad went out with friends to get drunk. I know, that makes no sense, but it is the answer. How can you “suspect” about a pregnancy?
Where and when were you born? We will call it 1:03 AM in Hartford.
How much did you weigh? 6 pounds, give or take.
How long were you? Six inches. No? Oh that length. No clue. I don’t know shit about all this. I’m glad that I don’t have readers anymore. I mean for this chapter of the book today. I don’t know the fucking answers and I’m left hopelessly adrift because my jokes suck as well. If any person on the planet ever needed a lifeline – it is me, today.
I must of been quiet. My mom had no patience with anyone at anytime. So, if I was colicky I think she would have complained about it her whole life. We got the “she never wanted kids” story one dark and dreary night. I don’t know what time of day it was because it was so off handed.
What have you been told about your exploits the day you were born and your first few days at home? This is getting stupid. Or perhaps we are already there. Once this story gets out of the crib, I’ll be funnier. At least I am hoping that because this is a long book.
What was your first word, and its context? Babies have context? My first probably was TV because that’s all she did, put me in the playpen and turn on the TV. It explains a lot about my current TV habits. “Morning Joe” is on now. If I weren’t taping it, I wouldn’t be at the computer.
When did you start walking? Write any details that you know. I was about one when my mom threatened, learn to walk or no TV. Since I was already addicted it was a horrible threat. I did finally figure out that she’d never turn off the TV because then she would have to have worked without the TV/babysitter.
That’s it for a Thursday. I have so many projects that I’ve started and haven’t finished. But they all will start here, or in the case of the WTIT book I’m finishing here. But one thing at a time. I don’t know why I’m putting my picture on each page. Mmm. A bit strange, no? Kathy was chosen to do the photography at work, like a yearbook. She works for a church and that meant coordinating between three and four hundred families. She practiced on me and I love this pic. Is it because Kathy editing program that makes you look a lot younger. At 67, I’ll take looking younger. We will return. Same time. Same blog.