WTIT: The Blog

Thanks to The Gal for authoring this meme. Click on the Sat-9 title of song on the next line below to play.

Saturday 9: Love Don’t Cost a Thing (2001)

1) Love may not cost a thing, but everyday stuff does. What’s the most recent thing you bought? How much did you spend? The biggest purchase was a laptop for Kathy. Ironically, it had windows 10. Her favorite program for video editing, Movie Maker was discontinued. It took we awhile on a “warez” site to find it. (Warez sites is software that is not totally legal but…) She was thrilled. Oh, the cost was about $300.

2) This video begins with Jennifer Lopez on the phone, on a veranda with a view of the sea. What’s the view from the room you’re in right now? I am in my studio and a river runs across the back yard. It is quite the view. I’ve seen more unusual animals here than I did at our last home. And we had a 300 acre state park bordering us. We are so happy here. We even have a washer/dryer in our kitchen. I love the one level.

3) She sings that she doesn’t want her lover’s gifts or money, she just wants his attention. Let’s change that a bit. Which would you prefer: a gift that was personally chosen but you know you’ll never use, or cash? Cash.

standing: Rock, Captain, Johnnie, Billy, Greg & Cos. sitting: Gary, Bud & Midnight

4) She met her first husband, dancer Cris Judd, while working on this video. She met Ben Affleck, to whom she was once engaged, while working on a movie. Think of those you’re closest to — where did you meet them? The WTIT DJs were either friends of mine or friends of another DJ. Johnnie Walker was a friend of Gypsy’s. Gregarious Greg was a friend of Johnnie’s. Bouncing Billy and I went to schools together (from elementary through freshman year) until sophomore in high school. He left for a military academy. Galloping Gary I met in High School. Rock Rolling worked for Johnnie Walker. I met him after he left Johnnie and Rock joined our poker games. Midnight is Rock’s brother. Cos was part of those poker games as well. Captain Morgan is Midnight’s friend. I know what you’re thinking, “Bud is this gonna be on the test?”

5) She and her current boyfriend, former Yankee Alex Rodriguez, are both workout fanatics. How often do you exercise? Never. I’ve had 10 spine surgeries before I broke my neck in 2016. I almost fully recovered (my hands were totally paralyzed and I was partially paralyzed below the waist) so I walk with a cane outside my home. We sold our house and rent the first floor in the town that Kathy works in. Well used to. Her last day was Thursday. New job starts Monday. I love this town. After 15 years in a town where people ignored you unless you were born there, people here are incredibly friendly.

6) Her high school nickname was “La Guitarra,” because her curvy shape reminded her friends of a guitar. Share a high school memory about you and your friends. From my book: Let us begin by saying that this story could be upsetting to the hearing impaired, or weight challenged, or facially ugly challenged and certainly any of their families or friends. If you fall into this category or are very into political correctness, likewise, move on to a blog that is written by someone whom might give a rat’s ass. That is the primary reason for this blog’s title. The WTIT Blog does not usually issue warnings. Usually Google takes care of that.
This is tale about turning lemons into lemonade. In high school and college, WDRC was one of our favorite radio stations. On this day during Christmas break, the DJ announced a party planned for that very evening. A “Stewardess Students Convention” was in town with 400 Stewardess Wannabes in attendance. Now, keep in mind that these were the days when airlines had ads on TV that showed a 21 year-old beauty queen who would smile and say, “Hi. I’m Cheryl. Fly me”. It was a very different era, indeed. We called all DJs and I think five of us headed to the old Statler Hilton in Hartford. Killer Joe, Ken Kolt, Johnnie Walker, Bouncing Billy and I attended these festivities. Naturally, we expected the ladies to look like the image on the left. We couldn’t wait to get there!

This was the cruelest joke on all concerned. Yes, there were 400 females. Yes, they needed many, many guys to even the odds at this dance. There was one really bad part. These ladies were all overweight and ugly. They had about as much chance of being a stewardess (remember the era) as flying to the moon by jumping really high. At one point Billy turned to me and said “Plan B.” I asked what that would be. Billy decided we should try to sneak past all the hotel security to find some of these student-stewardesses in their rooms. I pondered this, “That won’t make them pretty.” I pointed out. Billy said I was overlooking the obvious.

“I give up, what am I not seeing?” I asked. Billy went on, “First of all, we probably will get caught and thrown out of here long before we see another student-stewardess. It is a challenge. Can we do it? Secondly, if we are alone with them in their rooms, does it matter that they aren’t gorgeous? And most importantly, it has got to be better than walking around at this stupid dance.” All at once Bill had appealed to my sense of adventure, my lust and it did have to beat the shit out of staying at the “Ugly Fat Student-Stewardess Ball”. We were climbing the mountain, because it was there.

Bouncing Billy and I snuck past the first guard stationed at the elevators. The guard was really too easy. Billy asked him to show him how to get to the lobby. The guard said, “Follow me.” We didn’t. Now we were in the elevator. We picked a floor at random, since the hotel was filled with student-stewardesses. There was plenty of activity in the hallway, so the girls were easy to spot. In a moment’s notice Billy leans over to me and states, “We need an angle, ya know, to get invited into a room.” I told Bouncing Billy to follow my lead.

“Hi, Ladies.” I said to no one in particular. A student-stewardess told me if the guards caught us we would have to leave. (No shit, Sherlock.) I explained that my poor friend was deaf, so the dance wasn’t holding much for him. A group of four girls said they would love to get to know us, but we had to follow them into their room. From conception this plan worked and took ten minutes.

When the four student-stewardesses got into the room they began asking me questions to ask my deaf friend, Billy. I made believe to sign the words and Billy would sign me back. I use “sign” very loosely, since I only knew the alphabet and Billy knew none of it. Almost every “sign” would include us flipping the bird at each other. As it turned out, not only were student-stewardesses fat and ugly, but also they were as dumb as rocks.

As the questions got even more tedious, someone asked what was Billy’s favorite activity. After Billy and I did the “signs”, I realized how bored I was getting to be. So I answered that Billy’s favorite activity was to listen to the radio. You might think just one student-stewardess might realize deaf people and radios are not always a big match. Nope, their next question was, “What’s his favorite station?” At this point we both lost it. We are laughing and crying. Billy interrupts to say, “Oh my god. I can hear. It is a true miracle.” He pointed at the fattest student-stewardess and continued, “Your voice was the first I ever heard. I think I love you”. At which time he jumped off the bed we were sitting on to hug and kiss (and “thank”) the big girl. The girls were actually good sports and asked what bit we would pull on the next group. “That’s easy,” I said, (now remember Billy’s picture…a poster child for an Irish lad) “in the next room Billy is going to speak only Spanish.” The big girl asked, “Do you guys speak Spanish”. I said “Of course, just as well as we “sign”…”

7) JLo just completed filming her third season playing a police detective on NBC’s Shades of Blue. Did you see anything memorable on TV this past week? My favorite comedy is “Schitt’s Creek”. It’s a Canadian show on their POP Network. We got into it on Netflix and when me moved we received the Pop Network. I watched S.W.A.T. the show starring Shemer Moore who left “Criminal Minds”. My wife & I thought the theme sounded like a 70s theme song. Turns out, it was. Apparently this version is a reboot.

8) Jennifer Lopez posts often on Facebook, and Twitter, and Instagram. Do you feel you spend too much time on social media, do you wish you posted more often, or do you try to avoid it altogether? Facebook is the only thing I am active with. (I have accounts with twitter and Instagram but never post. I just wanted to get the WTIT name reserved in case I need it. Unless you count YouTube. If you google “Bud fills in for Kathy” you’ll see me spoofing her show. If you watch it, let me know what you think. (My email is bud.weiser@WTIT.net)

9) Random question: You’re at a yard sale and come upon an unusual little knicknack that would make the perfect gift for your best friend. The tag says $7. You think that’s rather high for a castoff. Do you pay it? Do you pass on it? Or do you try to get the seller to lower the price? I’d try to lower the price but really at $7.00 I’d just buy the fucker (hey it is the WTIT Blog after all).

Sorry it’s been so long. After my mom died in February, as I told you in the last post, as you know losing your last parent is tough. I remember when Harriet wrote about it. You can’t understand it until you are there. Mom was 94 and very ready, but it was my mom. Not a good excuse, but what the hell. I’ll make an effort to do Stealing tomorrow. I can’t believe its celebrating its 10th Anniversary. While we’ll never get 80 people like we did in the heyday of blogs (before facebook) you who play are loyal. And doesn’t Bev do an excellent job with it! Sat-9 in its 11th year. Gal makes this terrific! Anyway, thanks for “listening”.

Your bud,
Bud

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