Call in the Dancing Girls

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Cheers to all of us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: The Procrastination Tool Questions

1. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? I prefer standup restaurants. I can work with weights on my calves and thighs while dining.

2. What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it? Any shit from the standup place. When you’re lifting weights with your feet during dinner, the food is irrelevant.

3. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Clothes and spinal discs.

4. What is the last heavy item you lifted? Very funny. It’s mean to make fun of the disabled. index

5. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Not yet. I was hoping maybe on July 4th.

6. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Yes. So I could kill the author of these questions the day before.

7. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Sam Adams.

8. What’s your goal for the year? To get through this. It’s all downhill after this.

Helpful tip: When calling for “dancing girls” be very specific.

9. Last person you hugged? The adult dancing girls when they finally arrived. (Shhhh. The Mrs. is at work). The children did not get past the front door. Of course they ran away crying after I opened the door and said “Fuck no!”

10. First place you went this morning? To the phone. You gotta book dancing girls early.

11. Do you always answer your phone? Oops. BRB Phone ringing. Oh fuck it. Let the voice mail do it. Oh. Yes I always answer it.

12. It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? Someone with a death wish. Seriously, I don’t have my phone anywhere near my bedroom. Why should you decide when I wake up? index

13. If you could change your eye color what would it be? The other one. It’s all that’s left.

14. What’s on your wish list for your birthday? The book “How to Answer Sunday Meme Questions”.

15. Does the future make you more nervous or excited? You’re not excited the closer that you get to the finish line.

16. Do you have any saved texts? Yes. And no. They are not “saved”. They just aren’t erased yet.

17. Ever been in a car wreck? Oh yea.

18. Do you have an accent? Of course. Everyone does. Geez. Wake up here. If I can bother answering this nonsense then you can think about what your are asking.

19. What was the last song to make you cry? “Cry Me a River”. I’m a people pleaser.

20. What did you do last night? Unspeakable stuff.

21. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Any Sunday that I have time for this. I barely have time to host this fucker. I may have to put a “This space for rent to kind host” sign up.

22. Current hate right now? Judd Corizan. Had that fucker been real he’d still be hosting this crap. He went bacjk to the “Rising Blogger” & now the sites out of business.

23. Met someone who changed your life? I am 65. I’ve met a lot of people who have changed my life.

24. How did you bring in the New Year? I’m not sure. But how did I bring in the year before? Ahh. There’s the rub.

25. What song represents you? “Imagine”.

Did I mention that I’ve put the house up for sale? Yep. Cannot do the stairs. We had this wonderful neighbor who kept his home immaculate. They divorced. She moved in a cowboy from “Apocalypse Now”. A mean furniture thrown off deck bad. And a trampoline. I finally hired a guy to fence off that side and put a “privacy wall” on one side of the deck. Oh I did try talking to the moron. How did that go? I had to build a wall and a fence. Other than that it went swimmingly. I did find a guy who really needed the work and priced it right. Wait. What was that? Oh. The fence fell down. On the bright side I think it broke the trampoline. RIP Greg Allman. He was 69. See what I mean about the finish line? See you next month. Same time. Same blog.