She Was Just Shoveling

untitled Thank you Allison for hosting Sunday Stealing. to join in click here. b625a-0000

Do you own a tablet of any kind? Yes. I have ten of them. Moses left them to our family some 5,000 years ago. My great-great (I’ll stop here) grandfather Notso Weiser was given them.

What’s something people always assume about you that isn’t true? That I invented “The Meme”. We all know the first true meme was written by Cat. on the blog Sweet Memes.

On a scale of 1-10, how much do elevators scare you? True story: I fell down 9 stories in an untitled elevator in college. When I state it people think I mean an elevator shaft. Nope, I was in the elevator. That was the night I thought trying a Quaalude would be a good idea.

When you’re upset, do you vent to people or do you keep to yourself? I’m not shy or polite enough to keep shit in.

Have you ever watched a meteor shower? Nope, not that much into being a voyeur. untitled

Do you tend to put things off until the last minute? No. If I did then Sunday Stealing and Saturday 9 would publish on Saturday and Sunday. They still post on Friday and Saturday. It was a “trick” I learned from Bobby Griffin who published a blogger’s award site that crashed years ago.

How do you react to random strangers suddenly trying to make conversation with you? I like it. I mean unless they’re drunk. I seldom get cornered at liquor stores. The customers each have a story to tell. I can’t help it if I don’t want to fucking listen to it.

Do you have a lucky number? 3.

Would you go out to dinner with Oprah? If she paid, yes. I shook her hand once. I saw her untitled show in person. Why the fuck she didn’t give out cars that day is still troubling me.

Did you ever play sports? Yes. I once scored four touchdowns in one game. There. That’s the entirety of what I did in sports.

Do you feel guilty if you throw food away? No. I feel guilty if I let it rot in my refrigerator.

Do you think you could make it as a baker? As long as you don’t care if your food is uneatable and burnt, sure.

Are you one of those people who are wearing scarves with everything? Right.

Have you ever been in a castle? If you count Bloggingham Palace, yes. I know the Queen there.

When you were little, did you ever play with Playdoh? No, I just ate it like everybody else.
Would you rather write a mystery or love story? I’d rather watch TV.

Tell me about your worst fashion mistake: In the 70s I had this all white thing going to

Not Abbey Road 1970

emulate John Lennon’s suit on the cover of Abbey Road. It went fine until someone at a party asked me if I were The Good Humor Man. I never wore it again.

Do you hate it when people smoke around you? Nope. I love chocking to death while I await death by second hand smoke.

How are you wearing your hair right now? This seems like a question better suited for Thursday Thunks. Or any other dead meme by the side of the road…

When’s the last time you were sick? Right after I read that last question.

Would you rather have OJ or milk with your breakfast? Milk. OJ is still locked up, right?

What were you doing thirty minutes ago? This fucking meme. This blog does not write itself.

Do you own any school related clothing articles? No. I donated them to The Smithsonian. They were thrilled.

Would you rather call people or have them call you? This meme could have ended a couple of questions ago.

Can you carry a tune? Nope. That’s why you haven’t bought my first album “Songs That Will Make You Envy The Deaf, Volume One.

Who was the last person who unexpectedly texted you? I call her “Hair”. She shovels my driveway.

Who do you text the most? Jill Hennessy. She’s waiting for my latest divorce in March to go through. That’s ok. I’ve waiting for her divorce for almost a decade.