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2. Would you rather have more time or more money? Time. They say that “Time is money.” So this way I will get both.
3. Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button on your life? Rewind. There are so many things I’d like to do all over again. I could speak to the departed, one more time. Or maybe just a lot of girlfriends.
4. Would you rather be able to talk with the animals or speak all foreign languages? All foreign, ’cause you can talk to women women. Talking to animals? We’ll leave that to Dr. Dolittle ’cause he doesn’t do much anyway.
5. Would you rather win the lottery or live twice as long? Don’t they saty “Time is Money?” Great, then I’ll go with time, that way I get both!
6. Would you feel worse if no one showed up to your wedding or to your funeral? This is rough. Let me call in Dr. Jock Domechrome from out WTIT Lab in Sweden. *Ring Ring* Dr., what do you think? (Doctor) “How would you know you are at your funeral? Geez.” Thanks, Doc!
7. Would you rather be without internet for a week, or without your phone? Gee, if I don’t have my phone I can’t do my job. Where’s the Domechrome doc?
8. Would you rather meet George Washington, or the current President? The current one. I hate wooden teeth!
9. Would you rather lose your vision or your hearing? Geez. Written by a ten year old.
10. Would you rather work more hours per day, but fewer days or work fewer hours per day, but more days? I rather be on St. Martin with the French twins.
11. Would you rather listen to music from the 70’s or music from today? Sophies’ choice, eh?
12. Would you rather become someone else or just stay you? Me.
13. Would you rather be Batman or Spiderman? Who the fuck cares.
15. For your birthday, would you rather receive cash or gifts? Cash please. And lots of it.
That’s it for a Sunday. Today’s divorce update: The soon-to-be-ex said yesterday, “You’re not wearing your ring! When did you stop?” I said, two weeks ago when you told be. “Oh.” she replied and then took hers off. My son James didn’t know. I ad left a message, but it’s been weeks. He called yesterday. I was watching TV with Kathy. The phone rang and I answered and responded “Yes we’re getting divorced” thinking Kathy would leave. I said, “Hold on” and just stared at her. She went, “Oh should I leave?” Jesus. How dumb can you be? She asked last night if we could get together occasionally. I don’t want to be either mean or make the next couple of weeks awkward. I replied, “Can we do that thing later? Let’s see how we feel.” She has no friends and not much of a family since her parents died and she hasn’t children. But this can be no longer my problem. I’ve discovered you can’t not be awkward where stupidity is involved…
James found out because I wrote a line on the facebook.com/WTITRADIO page. I didn’t realize that he read it or I wouldn’t have done it except for the fact the news finally got him to return my call. You guys are terrific. Thanks for the support, emails and the like.