WTIT: The Blog

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Stealing: The Christmas Meme

1. Do you send Christmas cards? No, I don’t ever remember sending them. But I was married at 21 and my first wife did it. Between every divorce, it didn’t seem important. I mean our friends were either “couple friends” in which case, why make an effort when you and they are already toast. And as far as my friends went, we recorded almost weekly in those years. We didn’t send no stinkin’ cards. We toasted and recorded WTIT.

2. How soon do you start shopping? I used to answer this question, “Why is it Xmas Eve?” Since 2000, I’ve shopped online. Amazon once again got my business. Last night (Saturday) we did our “Christmas Eve”. My older kids (37 & 40) and their kids (12, 8 & 3) used to do Xmas Eve together. There comes a point when both, living out of state, want their kids to wake up in their own beds on Christmas. Totally understandable, so now on the weekend before Xmas they spend Saturday with Kathy & me and Sunday with their mom & her husband.

3. Who do you shop for? Grandkids. And me lady me wife…

4. Do you put up a Christmas tree? We have one, but it is not I who “puts it up”.

5. If so, is it fake or real? Are you fake or are you real? Ahhhh. The foot is on the other shoe.  Answer: It’s real to us.

6. Do you like tinsel? No. Does it like WTIT?

7. Do you use homemade or store bought ornaments? Both. We have ornaments to represent everyone in the family. Mine is a WTIT one.

8. Do you put Christmas lights outside your house? Nope.

9. Do you put lights on the tree? Tough one. We bought one with them on it. So, “Does it have lights?” Yes. “Do we put them on?” No.

10. How about popcorn and cranberries? How about them.

11. Is there a wreath hanging on your door? Yes.

13. Do you hang up your stocking? Nope. But I have 4 grandkids. They each have one here.

14. Does your family read “Twas the night before Christmas?” Really?

15. Christmas Movie? “Debbie Does Santa”.

16. Character from any Christmas Movie: Debbie.

17. Christmas Song: “Happy Xmas (War is Over)”

18. Christmas Memory: Lots. My rock star getting his first electric guitar comes to mind.

19. Give or Receive? Duh. Receive. Oh, wait. You meant presents? Give.

22. Ham or Turkey? Fuck that. What happened to questions 20 & 21? I tried searching the “archives”. I still don’t know.

24. White Lights or Colored Lights? Colors.

25. Blinking Lights or Still Lights: Still. As in “Still Crazy After All These Years”.

26. Were you Naughty or Nice this year? Really?

27. What do you want for Christmas this year? A reconciliation.

28. When do you open your gifts? When I get them.

29. What’s the best gift you’ve ever gotten? At the time, a cassette player for my car.

30. What’s the worst gift you’ve ever gotten? A desk clock. My desk can’t tell time, so what’s the fucking point?

31. Who gives you the most gifts? A greedy fucker wrote this meme. “Want” “Best” “Worst” “Open when?” “Most”

32. Have you ever had a secret Santa? If I had, I don’t remember it. Wait. I think we did that at a radio station once. Pointless.

33. Do you like wrapping gifts? No.

34. Do you put change in those red buckets? Amazon doesn’t have red buckets, moron.

35. Do you burn a yule log? Based on Pagan beliefs. What? You didn’t know? I didn’t either until I dated a Pagan. A LOT of Christian Christmas traditions and beliefs are ripped from Pagans. The irony was not lost on me. What happened to my Pagan date? I married her. A witch performed the ceremony. I’m still an agnostic, but it made her day.

36. Can you name all the reindeer? Stand by.

37. Do you bake cookies? Nope.

38. Have you ever seen your mommy kissing Santa Clause? Holy fucking shit.

39. Have you ever gotten a kiss under the mistletoe? Yes. Great Q.

41. Do you drive around and look at the Christmas lights? Never sober.

42. Have you ever left Santa cookies? When my kids were little. A mere 35 to 40 years ago.

43. Have you ever sat on Santa’s lap? Yes.

44. Who do you celebrate Christmas with? Family.

45. Where do you celebrate Christmas? It varies.

46. Have you ever had a white Christmas? I live in New England. Do the math.

47. What part of Christmas do you look most forward to? Seeing my kids & grandkids.

48. Have you ever had your picture taken with Santa? Yes.

We did make it back. Peace on earth and goodwill toward mancaves. I wish you all the best. Have a good thought for my dad. Thanks. See you again. Same time. Same blog.

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