WTIT: The Blog

There was a singles dance every Sunday in the Hartford area. On this night at the end of a busy night of dancing and enjoying myself, I saw the woman “of my dreams”, I thought. I gathered up the courage to walk over to meet her. (Okay, those who know me realize that this is a lie. I am very comfortable meeting people.) Our eyes met, she smiled, “It’s the last dance, would you care to join me?” She thought for a second and responded, “Yes. My name is Dawn”. I walked to her car, got her phone number, and made my exit, stage left.

I called Dawn on Tuesday. Phone numbers are like fruit. If you don’t use them quickly, they tend to rot. “Remember me, I met you two weeks ago” is a death call. There are easier ways to get shot down or commit suicide. Hara-kiri comes to mind. Dawn answered the phone and it was became obvious that she had a girlfriend over. To every question I asked she requested me to “Hold on.” Then Dawn would cover the phone before responding. “We need to meet somewhere,” Dawn insisted. I am never one to argue this point. It is a smart thing for a woman to do. Dawn’s friend insisted on this point, but neglected to make sure Dawn understood “why” to meet a date and not have a guy pick you up. Dawn asked if I’d meet her at, now get this one, at a gas station.

So there I was, sitting at a Mobile station to meet Dawn. Dawn was right on time, which was 5:30. Her comes the part about Dawn not “getting it.” Dawn said “Hi” and then said, “We are so close to my apartment, let’s drop my car off.” Okay, then. Dawn asks me to follow her and we are dealing with rush hour traffic. She jumps into traffic and drives off, not stopping to see if I followed. I waited until she returned. “You didn’t follow me.” “Dawn,” I responded, “My car does not fly. How did you expect me to follow you?” Dawn said, “There was too much traffic, I had no choice. There is an Italian restaurant next to the gas station. Would you like to go there?” So now we are seated at what is a pizza joint not an Italian restaurant., Billy Joel did not write, “Bottle of red, bottle of white” about this hell hole. Dawn orders a wine. I assume it is a beer/wine place so I ordered a Budweiser. Now begins the adventure. Here’s the dialog:

Dawn: Bud, Dawn needs to know something.” (Oh my God, I thought, she is talking in the third person.) Dawn knows that she is a great catch for Bud. She is young, pretty and bright.Now Dawn does understand that Bud has four children. Dawn would like to get very serious with Bud. Would Bud have a child with Dawn?

Bud: Could we have dinner first?

Dawn: Dawn thinks Bud is a very funny man. But seriously, would Bud have a child with Dawn?

Bud: (I am very experienced with this type of question. I had been single for all but three years since 1988.) Dawn, yes I have four kids. I love kids. Why wouldn’t I have another?

Dawn: Dawn thinks this is REALLY encouraging. Dawn thinks that she and Bud will be together a long time.

Bud: (Now if she means that I’ll probably finish my grinder before leaving, than “yes.” It will be a LONG time) Waitress!

Waitress: Yes, Sir.

Bud: Do you have any real alcohol here?

Waitress: Why yes, sir. What can I get you?

Bud: Smirnoff Vodka, please.

Waitress: With what?

Bud: A glass and some ice. And quickly, very quickly.

Dawn: Dawn is SO happy this is going so well!!

I had another Smirnoff and paid the check. When we got outside Dawn asked, “Would Bud like to see Dawn’s apartment?” I paused, smiled and said, “Dawn, as you said, this went so well, why spoil it?” “Okay,” Dawn smiled, “When Bud picks up Dawn next time, he can see the apartment.”I am sure you are shocked. There turned out not to be a “next time”. Every word here is exactly as it happened. God, I do not miss being single.

11. What day would you love to relive again? Why? I’d like to live a day I starred as DJ Gary Hunter at the disco I spun at in the 70s. It’s where I met Kathy, but I don’t remember her. I’d love to pop over and say, “hi”. Then, I’d tell her that she’d be one of my wives. I would expect that she would have throw her sloe gin fiz at me.

12. If your life was turned into a movie… what actor would your best friend think should play you? Brad Pitt. OK, say I have no clue what he would say. But the dude can do nuance and my life has been filled with nuance and stupid women, like Dawn.

13. What are the jobs you had in high school/college/the early years? In high school I mostly worked in the hotel business and summers as a Park Councilor. In college, I started my pro radio career in my junior year at WMLO on the North Shore of Boston.