Who Do I Think I Am?

So, yesterday I was driving. This itself is not noteworthy, since I am a salesperson. They are doing all sorts of stuff on I-91 outside of Springfield. I’m listening to some inane sports talking head interviewing another sports talking head and I realized WEEI was interviewing the same guy I just heard on ESPN’s Mike & Mike. I look up and all I can see is a dump truck ahead of me so I follow it through the cones. A trooper immediately pulls me over. I have NO idea why.

You guessed it. I followed the dump truck into the traffic site. This cop is yelling and screaming and going insane. He asks “Who do you think you are?” I said I thought the truck was in a lane and I was sorry. He starts screaming at me as though I were two. When he asks for my license I remember it’s in my scanner at home, because annually I have to scan it and send it to work. Now I’m wondering if he will handcuff me or let me follow him to jail. He looks at the registration that I gave him. He starts ranting all over again. He tells me that I am too stupid to live. At this point, I am expecting the electric chair, although I think the firing squad might be better. I digress.

So now he’s kicking the cones all over the place. He yells at me that’s he’s gotta reset them all. I avoid the urge to ask if he wants some help. He glares at me and tells me doing what I did was “a ONE HUNDRED dollar fine.” I nod. Better than the chair, I’m thinking. All of a sudden he yells, “I don’t have time for this.” He stops the traffic on 91 to let me out. No ticket, nothing. So the moral is “Go figure.”