WTIT: The Blog

Welcome to Monday Mayhem! The place where nothing matters and we can all have fun on a Monday. Every week is something different. Harriet is our host. Or hostess. Your call.

Monday Mayhem: How to Do it Monday

Harriet’s Mission Statement: Simply answer the questions and let us know how you do it.

Our statement: Sorry we are a day late. Shit happens.

1. Tell us how to make the perfect bowl of popcorn. Put the package in the microwave. Be sure the popcorn uses 100% real butter. Anything else, don’t believe it. There is no such product that works even if it claims, “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter”. Although, since Kathy makes popcorn five times a day, I don’t actually make any myself.

2. The light just turned yellow and you’re 10 feet away. How do you proceed? I stop. I drive a zillion miles each day. Patience is a virtue in safe driving. Run a light? Unless you’re in fucking trouble and heading to the ER, you have no excuse. “I hate waiting” is not an “excuse” no more than “I hate shots” or “Dentists scare me.” We are all in the same boat. Suck it the fuck up.

3. How do you deal with poor food quality at a restaurant? Kathy insisted we try a Mexican restaurant near by. We sat down. They handed out some salsa SO watered down that it was a joke. Me? I woulda left then. Kathy thought I wasn’t giving it a fucking chance. The menu had no traditional American/Mexican items other than tacos. When the waitress decided I had to hand the menus back to her she bellowed, “Excuse meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.” I handed her the menu. I turned to Kathy and said, “Still think I’m wrong?” She responded that at least we were giving it a chance.

The waitress never returned until she threw the check (literally) on the table as she passed. Kathy asked me why there was no sour cream on her taco. I said, “I said this all work end badly.” My gordita tasted like I imagine dog food would. Fortunately, I was smart to order just one. We did attempt to eat enough to finish the errands that Kathy was helping me with. (I am on medical leave because of my back.) We paid and left. As we left I asked Kathy loudly, “So how was your food?” and “Do you want anything else?” Kathy doesn’t like confrontation. Me? I don’t like bad restaurants with rude people. Since Kathy paid I wasn’t shocked that she left a tip. When I want to leave immediately, I will get up and go. I’ll tell Kathy where she can pick me up.

4. Tell us how you deal with an odd co-worker. I don’t. I mean that I never write about my job. The upside is little and the downside is fierce. A blogger who I list in my side bar had terminate her blog because a co-worker ratted her out. All she posts about is work. She now has a new alias and a new blog. Alas, some people will never learn. So, I have no odd co-workers. Next!

5. How do you dump someone (friend or more than friend)? Every situation is different. I left a VM to my last long term (meaning over a year) GF. Man did I get shit from everyone in that part of the blogosphere. So I left. I mean that part of the blogosphere. She was there first and I wasn’t responding to idiots that thought I owed them a fucking explanation. It cost me a lot of readership. But it was SO worth it. I’ve made so many new friends over the past years since 2007 or whenever that breakup happened. The scary part is that ex stalks me (cyber-stalking) to this day. That part I don’t get, I mean I don’t read her blog anymore. Why she cares as to what I’m up to since I’ve obviously moved on a long time ago is any fucktard’s guess.