No Problem

W.T.F. Friday: Taking Your Biggest Flaw on a Long Vacation

1) During a job interview, if you are asked “What is your biggest flaw?” how do you answer? I explain that in the past I have tended to sleep with the boss’ wife.

2) You’re about to board an airplane for a week-long vacation, and following the federal regulations on liquids, you have a quart-size plastic bag with small liquid items in your carry-on bag. What toiletries are in your plastic bag (You can fit about eight 3-ounce-or-less bottles in the bag)? Smirnoff.

3) Have you ever searched for your house on Google Maps? Yes. Great question.

4) Opening in U.S. theaters this weekend, the movie “What’s Your Number” is about a woman who hunts down her ex-lovers when she reads a magazine article warning that people who have had 20 or more relationships have missed their chance at true love. Do you think couples should tell each other how many past lovers they’ve had? Yes. It’s irrelevant. It’s like sleeping with women on a first date. In my experience, 75% of women will sleep with you on a first date. And the odds are 100% that she’ll tell you it’s her first time. (For the record, my GF would not. I was rather shocked.)

5) What would you want to be written on your tombstone, if you could pick what it said? No problem is too big, too complicate or too complex that it can’t be run away from. That’s what Bud just did. (It was my radio sign off. Other than I said “that’s what I will do” rather than “Bud”.

6) If you could change the ending of any existing book, movie, or TV series, which would it be and what would happen instead of the real ending? There were two endings to Casablanca. The one where Humphrey and Ingrid stay together was never filmed. I wish they did.

7) What do you think about people who wear flip-flops, tank-tops, and/or shorts in the winter when it snows and is freezing outside? Lots of you folks smoke pot.

8) Do you have a “comfort object” (meaning something that anytime you are upset or scared, it can always make you feel better)? No, but I’ve got as supportive a GF and partner that I could have. (Bet you thought I’d work a blowjob to respond to this.)

9) Would you rather live in a blissful ignorance or in a pain-filled reality? You mean like The Matrix? Yes, I’d rather be happy. We’re back with Crazy Sam. Join us.