Harriet’s Mission Statement: Explain to me why:
2. Why people choose to walk in the street rather than use the sidewalk. Radicals. They might have heard Areosmith’s Walk This Way.
3. Why teens in pictures on Facebook always have to hold a red cup to prove they are cool. They all have to prove to their folks that they’re drug free to use facebook. The red cup is what the have to pee into.They feel anything but cool.
4. Why there could be nobody in line for the bathroom until you need to go. How long a minute lasts depends on which side of the door that you’re on. Bud’s Laws #13.
6. Why they always need re-adjusting or scratching. It’s your body’s way of reminding you that you gotta pay attention.
7. Why people go 30mph in the left lane in a 45 zone. I always assume they’re stoned. I’m usually right.
9. Why people on bicycles think they can weave through traffic and ignore lights and stop signs. I think they have a death wish. Most of their graves say, “The driver didn’t see me. Pass the salt.”
|Kathy took me apple picking. There was no Smirnoff. Do the math. Was I happy or what? No, this has nothing to do with anything. Great pic, no?|
10. Why computers like to tell you they need to be restarted only when you are in the middle of doing something important. Does anything anybody does on the computer really all that important? I’m just thrilled that your fucking websites don’t crash anymore. You’ve been in a great mood for a long time.