WTIT: The Blog

W.T.F. Wednesday: Elvis Lives On and SpongeBob Shows His Underpants

1) Last week a contractor claimed the head coach for the Oklahoma State University football team fired him because he showed up to work wearing a rival’s t-shirt (the University of Oklahoma). Are there any sports teams that you strongly oppose just because they’re rivals of your favorite teams? I think if you are any kind of sports fan that you “strongly oppose” the teams that they play. So, that makes this the stupidest question yet from this meme. And there’s a world of difference between a fan wearing a Red Sox Sucks tee and an employee wearing another employer’s apparel. So, I think the entire point of the information here was missed like a hitter would miss a curve ball when he was expecting heat. Here’s a guess: Jennifer is not a sports fan. And since she works so damn hard on this fucker, I’ve got to give her a pass. The best part of a meme is when you can rag on the questions.

2) Speaking of sports, have you ever taken part in a fantasy sports league? No. But my son Ben talked me into doing a football one this year. You can’t lose if you don’t play.

3) According to a recent University of North Carolina study, there are now five fast-food restaurants for every supermarket in the U.S. How often do you eat fast-food as opposed to eating food purchased at a grocery store? I can’t cook, so WAY to often.

4) The Food Network kicked off its second season of its show “The Great Food Truck Race” over the weekend. Do you ever eat food from a food truck? No. And the fucking Food Network is not on my Tivo list of fave channels. Drag racing on the Food Network? What’s next? The brighter side of cockroaches on Animal Planet?

5) Some places have laws against the sale of liquor on election days. How do you feel about the sale of liquor on the days when people are casting votes in elections? I sell liquor. I think its a horrible law. I don’t wanna trust just sober people to only have a shot of straightening all this shit out.

6) Today (Aug. 17) is National Thrift Shop Day. What is something you got second-hand that turned out to be very useful to you? I bought a white jacket to wear at my DJ gigs in the 80s.

7) Have you ever poured salt on a slug and watched its body disintegrate as it loses its internal liquid? Nope, and I was wrong about the first question being the stupidest.

8) Target has been advertising a SpongeBob SquarePants backpack on which he was wearing only tighty-whities underwear. That seemed weird to everyone I talked to, and no one really wanted to know what type of underwear he wore. Do you ever wonder what type of underwear the people around you are wearing? Nope. But I do enjoy watching woman take it off. I mean, if that helps.

9) Would you rather sleep for three straight days or stay awake for three days? Sleep. Zzzzzzz.

10) Yesterday was the 34th anniversary of the death of Elvis Presley. With all the supposed Elvis sightings over the years, do you believe he really died on August 16, 1977, or do you think his death was faked and he lived at least for a while after that day? Or maybe you think he is still alive today? Bwahahahaha. Good one. It makes a great fable. But really, why would anybody do that? Except for Eddie & the Cruisers. It made for a cool film, but the notion that any star would or could do this is rather ridiculous.