Every Saturday WTIT: The Blog brings you a meme calledSaturday 9. It’s not to say that this is a bright idea, but it is what we do. A woman named Crazy Sam started this meme because a prior popular Saturday meme specialist Lola had retired. So, Sam contacted all Lola’s participants and invited us to participate in her meme. Let’s begin!
1. Have you ever been in love but tried to deny it? Yes. And when you do realize that you’re in love you hope that your “other” hasn’t figured it out. In my opinion, it’s far easier to talk a lady into a threesome before you are officially in love.
2. Someone throws a party in your honor. The only guests are your past lovers. You’re current spouse or significant other is cool with this. They ask you to speak and say something good about those assembled. Would there be someone there you could not say something good about? That would be one big ass party. So, yes. Only two come to mind, but I’m sure after I’d been to each banquet room that I’d find some more.
3. How long can you go without your cell phone? Do you own a so-called “smart phone”? I mostly need my cell for business, so I’d say “not long”. I do have an iPhone.
4. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? No. Generally, I always think it’s a bad idea. That guy in Norway can only get 21 years for mass murder. I don’t think he deserves a fucking second chance. As far as exes go, you never know. They resurface at the oddest times.
5. Would you rather spend a whole day with your mom or your dad?(If either or both have passed, answer as if they’re alive.) Not going there. I discovered a long time ago that you never know who reads your blog.
6. Tell us one thing about your first boyfriend or girlfriend. She looked fantastic naked.
7. Has an ex ever written something about you on facebook or their blog that was nasty about you? Yes. Someone tipped me to one recently. An ex in the blogosphere and I wrote a series of posts that were on both of our blogs. She recently asterisked hers by lambasting me. Now, I’ve written what an ass I think she is on my blog. But I never identified her. I’ve actually contacted lawyers that believe I have a massive law suit to file. I’d hate to take her property from her, but that line should never have been crossed. Sad situation.
8. What was the last thing you borrowed and never returned? Virginity.
9. Who is someone famous that you’ve met? Off the top of my head, I’d say Huey Lewis. We’re back with Stealing.
We’re glad that you stopped by. Enjoy your weekend. WTIT: The Blogwill return tomorrow with Judd Corizan and his Band Singing So Long Davey! Join us for Sunday Stealing!
1)Today (July 29) is “National Lasagna Day.” What is your pasta dish of choice? If you like lasagna, are you a traditional lasagna type of person or are you into the vegetarian kind with eggplant instead of noodles? The French twins (my neighbors and close friends) love this weird kind of pasta called Hot Sex Pasta. Me? I like it all equally.
2) Be totally honest… Could money buy you happiness (even if it’s only for a little while)? I don’t care too much for money. Money can’t buy me love.
3) How do you feel about people who get permanent makeup (lipstick, eyeshadow, etc. tattooed on the face so the person never has to actually put on makeup again)? I’m all about individual freedom. It all sounds a tad lazy and painful, however.
4) The Nickelodeon company has reintroduced its hit teen sitcoms from the ’90s (like “All That,” “Kenan & Kel,” “Clarissa Explains It All,” and “Doug”) on its TeenNick channel and has broke ratings records doing it. It has also sent the Twitter trending topics into a TeenNick frenzy. Is it too soon to be bringing back the ’90s? The nostalgia routine for each generation revolves around what the soundtrack (and in this case TV shows) from the era when you first had sex. The boomers worshiped the ’60s in the 80s. So, doing the 90s now sounds about right.
5) Some women go totally insane for men in uniforms and vice versa. How do you feel about people in uniform? I am not superficial enough to judge a woman by her dress. I judge by the size of their jugs like every other guy. It’s much fairer.
6) When you go to a movie theater, what food/drink items do you get from the concession stand? I don’t go to theaters unless a new Star Trek film comes out. So ask me again in June of 2012, okay?
7) My entire refrigerator/freezer is covered in magnets. What kind of magnets are on yours? They hold up pictures of my granddaughters Zoey, Lindsay & Lauren. Most are from pizza places.
8) A recent report by the Center for Science in the Public Interest says Cheesecake Factory’s Ultimate Red Velvet Cheesecake contains 1,540 calories and 59 grams of saturated fat, but Saturday (July 30) is “National Cheesecake Day.” Are the calories and fat grams worth the tastiness of cheesecake? Not to me. But I don’t really like sweets. I’ll take the calories in a glass of Smirnoff.
9) Febreze has started a new ad campaign in which they blindfold people and take them into a dirty disgusting room which has been sprayed down with Febreze. When the blindfolds come off, the people are shocked at their surroundings. (Watch a commercial here.) Would you be mad if you signed up to star in a commercial only to find yourself sitting in a room of complete filth? No. It comes up alot so it’s good that you warned everyone.
10) Do you think hair shampoo and conditioner bottles really need to have directions? No. Short & sweet! We’re back with Crazy Sam. Join us.
1) One of my favorite TV shows recently changed the actors who played two characters. Have you ever been bothered by a TV show or movie series changing actors who play a character you love? The first one that came to mind was Donna Reed as Miss Ellie on Dallas. That was just painful.
2) Who do you feel is the most influential person of your generation in terms of music? It was not a person. It was a band. They were called The Beatles. They not only changed the world of rock forever, but here it is fifty years later and in terms of rock no band or person has touched their influence.
3) A coworker recently shared a link to a blog listing the “five things you should know before dating a journalist.” As a journalist, I can honestly say the writer was spot-on. What are some things people should know before spending time with you? You’re ajournalist? Bwahahaha. No offense, but aren’t journalists suppose to be a bit objective? You wear your opinions on large fucking signs. Spending time with me would mean music and laughter. And Smirnoff.
4) What is your opinion of denim jeans that are sold with pre-made rips and fading? Does one need an opinion here? I mean, live and let live.
5) The United States Postal Service has announced a proposal to close many of its rural post offices. Are you someone who still goes to a post office? Would it upset you if your post office closed? Yes “I am someone who still has to go the post office” occasionally. How could you not?
6) What is something you often do without realizing that you’re doing it? Sleep with my neighbors wives. I can’t help myself. I’ll often wake up the next day and go, “Shit. I did it again.”
7) Go to Urban Dictionary (click here), type in your first name, and paste one or two of your favorite definitions. The funnier the better. The two prominent ones were “pot” and “clitoris”. Are those funny enough?
8) The “Smurfs” movie hits U.S. theaters tomorrow, and I want to know … if you were a Smurf, what would your name be? Since I’ve never seen a moment of this cartoon, I refuse to answer on the grounds that this is a fucktardian question.
9) With temperatures running above 100 degrees every day in my area, this topic has come up several times for me lately. Would you consider getting Botox injections to your armpits to decrease sweating? I swear, where does she come up with this shit? Gross Out Monthly?
10) I spent a couple hours Wednesday night hiccuping. What is your remedy to cure the hiccups? Everyone always has a different solution and none of them work for me. I did the research for you. Here goes:
Hold your breath for seven minutes and then release it.
Breathe into a paper bag for 12 hours.
Drink a gallon of Kool Aid without stopping to breathe.
Immerse your face in ice water for 1 hour and 12 minutes.
Have oral sex. Okay, so this won’t cure them, yet it is always good advice.
That’s a wrap for this Thursday at the Tape Radio Blog. We hope we’ve made a valuable contribution to The Blogosphere here. We realize that is a lofty expectation. WTIT: The Blog is back, either way. Same time. Same blog.
1) CBS debuted a show titled “Same Name” over the weekend which has famous people (including David Hasselhoff, Kathy Griffin, and Reggie Bush) switch places with everyday people with the same name. Do you share the same name with some famous person? No, I share it with a beer.
2) If you do have (or theoretically if you did have) the same name as a celebrity, would you trade places with the celebrity for a while for a television show? Sure. I’ve always said that I’m all about the groupies. Sure, I get plenty as a top flight Tape Radio DJ but I would imagine George Clooney gets a few more. I’d do the trade.
3) Today (July 27) is Bugs Bunny’s 71st birthday. What should he do to celebrate his birthday? Drink Smirnoff and have wicked hot nasty sex.
4) What has been your favorite movie so far this year?Tiger’s Wood. It is all about the reenactment of every affair and every woman he ever did, except his wife. It portrays her as cold and never saying “Yes” to his advances. You’ve probably all seen the film. It got a 5 hard dick rating from Porn Monthly.
5) If you were a tour guide for your city, what three places would you take visitors to see? Mohegan Sun (the world’s largest casino), Mark Twain’s house and a brothel in the south end.
6) How often do you screen your phone calls? If you mean looking at caller ID, all the time. If you mean making everyone leave a message for you because you are a fucktard, 0% of the time. I bet you make everyone leave messages. How? Lucky guess is all.
7) 27-year-old Amy Winehouse died over the weekend. Were you a fan of hers, or were you like me and barely knew anything about her until after she died? How far could you stick your head up your ass to have “barely heard of her”? Whoever writes this meme reminds me of Lola. She wrote a meme where she framed questions with her moronic opinions. This meme is so fucking like it. I haven’t really let loose yet on this bozo, but the gloves are off. She does not read or comment on her player’s posts. So, worrying about her feelings is just dumb. Like here, you must either A. Be a fan. Or B. Never heard of her. If you heard of her and were not a fan, you are shit out of luck.
8) Who is another celebrity you feel died too young? Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain and whoever else I missed in the 27 Club.
9) If you had the power to decide people’s fates, would you consider it a blessing or a curse and why? It would be a blessing because I could give you a brain. But upon further review, this meme would be harder to rag on. I’d leave you to wander around speaking without making sense.
10) Wanting to go to a taxidermist to get your dead dog/cat stuffed — normal or creepy? Who the fuck gets a dead pet stuffed? I’ve never known a single person (other than Roy Roger’s Trigger) that has done this. So, creepy it is.
That’s that for a Hump day.
We will return with something equally fucktardian. WTIT: The Blog will be back. Whether you are ready or not. Same time. Same blog.
1. Were you a fan of Amy Winehouse? Were you surprised about her? Yes, I enjoyed her. It wasn’t like I couldn’t wait for her next CD, but you couldn’t ignore the talent. How could anyone be surprised?
2. What have you always wanted to do try doing during a heat wave? Have you done it? What’s holding you back? I’d be lying if I said I understood this question. So, put me down for a “maybe”.
3. “Judd” from Sunday Stealing is having a party. Are you going? What are you planning to bring with you? The question isn’t really about whether I’d go. The real question would be, “Has an avatar ever thrown a party?”
4. Do you think other countries deserve a set of twins (kind of like the “French Twins”)? Which country would you designate a twin country? Have I used my infamous “maybe” answer yet? Fuck. I’ll go with Rakistan. It’s a twin of Gongerling.
5. Would you ever trade your lifestyle for the lifestyle of someone rich and famous? Why or why not? Wait, I already am rich and famous! Who’d want my life?
6. What’s the stupidest thing you heard last week? I read someone comparing the death of Amy Winehouse and the tragedy in Norway. I think the point was that Amy got what she deserved. That’s the last issue of Fucktardian Monthly for me! That’s a wrap on Mayhem. See you next time!!
Welcome again to Stealing which we bring you weekly on The WTIT Blog. We have gotten really good at just stealing a meme from someone else’s post. (You can play meme with Judd andthe official Sunday Stealing meme.) Today we ripped this meme off a blogger known as Reyna Elena from the blog of Reyna Elena Dot Com. She states that she was tagged thanks to Moderately Confused Pinay. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. So let’s go!
1. Tell us about something that made you laugh last night. A woman stopped by last night and said that my Uncle Fred thought we should meet. I said, he really hasn’t been doing that much lately. She asked why. I explained that he had passed away at my sister’s wedding a year ago. She said, “I didn’t say WHEN he said it.” “Good point,” I countered. “Why’d ya wait so long?” She explained that her husband hadn’d left her for his secretary yet. I told her that except for the showing up at my door unannounced on a Saturday night part, her life was a bit clichéd. She asked if I wanted to continue analyzing her or have sex.
2. What were you doing at 8 PM last night? Having sex with whats-her-name.
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? We took a break. I thought I’d get Stealing done.
4. What happened to you in 2006? (Feel free to republish an old post from ’06.)
What the Match.com pic looked like.
From September 2006: For the first time ever when meeting a lady from Match.com, I met one whom looked nothing like her picture. Well, that is not totally accurate, she looked like maybe a relative of the woman in the picture. Trust me this went beyond her picture with bright red hair and she was blonde. Now before I give the totally-not-politically-correct story, please hit “NEXT BLOG” if you are easily offended, and you do know who you are. This woman was the size of a mountain. She was so big we needed three stools at the bar. I can’t help myself, I was very nice to her and listened to the story of her rather large life.
I saw her coming. I almost ran.
The only saving grace here was that we lived in the same town. So as much as I enjoy my cab driver Hamied, within a an hour I asked her if she would mind dropping me off at my place. The big mistake I had made was meeting her at my favorite spot. Everyone knows me, so I thought (and yes I realize how shallow I am) leaving as soon as possible might be the way to go. When she dropped me off she told me I was her best Match.com date ever. She could feel the chemistry. Fortunately, before I had to respond to this statement she asked me a question. “Everyone I’ve met seem really disappointed, that is except you. Why would that be?” I mumbled something like, “You might want to update that pic…” I thanked her for the ride. My nightmare should be over, right?
Last night I stopped at the same bar. My friend Steve’s jazz band was playing. Art, another regular and usually a good guy walked by. He asked me where “Jumbo” was, did I drop her off at the circus? Now I am a good sport and I found him funny. Incredibly mean-spirited (as obviously I am by writing this story) but funny. I said, “Art, I met her on the computer.” Art asked, “Wasn’t there a picture? They do have a wide angled lens now.” I told him how the picture was a joke. A joke on me, but still a joke. Art said I should have heard all the jokes at my expense. After a little more clarification, Art seemed to understand. But then he asked, “Then why did you leave with her?” Now this was getting pretty stupid. “Art, first of all I am not sure I owe you an explanation. But so we can change the subject, I saved the expense of the cab.” Now I was sure this was over. Art asked, “Did you ride on her back, or does she have a Mac truck?” Sometimes, it is never over. Not over even when the Fat Lady sings.
5. What was the last thing you said out loud? “Honey, I’m, almost finished with the post. Start without me if you want.”
6. How many beverages did you have today? Two diet cokes. The day is young, however.
7. What color is your hairbrush? Blow me. 8. What was the last thing you paid for? My dinner last night. The Klingon’s are right. Serve your Grok live.
9. Where were you last night? I was here when a strange woman knocked on the door. After sex we apparently went to a fucking Klingon restaurant. Keep up, will you? I mean, do I have to do all the heavy lifting here?
Toasting with blood wine.
10. What color is your front door? Why ask me? I didn’t knock on it.
11. Where do you keep your change? Planning 40 robberies? Nice try. Rob the fuckers who answered this ridiculous question.
12. What’s the weather like today? Grey and 80. It will be 105 and muggy within an hour. You want your news and sports now?
13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor? Gongerling.
14. What excites you? A great blowjob. Sometimes even a not-so-great one.
15. Do you want to cut your hair? No. I’d rather wax it.
16. Are you over the age of 35? Yes. I seldom act it, however.
17. Do you talk a lot? Why you want to know what I made the woman who is now impatiently waiting for me for breakfast?
18. Do you watch Franklin and Bash? Yes. Funny you asked. Oh, right, I asked. See the meme was old and asked if you had see The OC yet. So I went with my fave new summer show. It’s a tad like Boston Legal without the cigars and Captain Kirk..
19. Do you know anyone named Steven? Everyone knows a Steven. Do you think it’s the same one?
20. Do you make up your own words? You looked up gongerling ice cream, right?
21. Are you a jealous person? No. I go straight to disinterested.
22. What does the last text message you received say? “I’ll call on the way.” I hope she does. An unplanned threesome can be tricky.
23. Where’s the next place you’re going to? Still need me to tie this all together? Just re-read it. ‘kay?
24. Who’s the rudest person in your life? Outing her here might almost a good idea. I had a weird question from an old girlfriend on facebook recently. I said, “Whywould you ask me that?” She replies, “You said it in your blog.” I didn’t think anybody read this shit. She said she reads it in the nude. I decided not to go there. Never ask a question that you know the answer to.
25. Are you crushing on anyone that you shouldn’t be? No. If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one your with.
That’s it for today on WTIT: The Blog. Enjoy your Sunday… We will return. Just a fair warning. Peace, my friends. Join us. Same time. Same blog.
After a radio, nightclub and television career of over 25 years, I still write and perform comedy with essentially the same group of guys that I started with over 45 years ago. We began as WTIT: Tape Radio and have kept the moniker ever since. What WTIT is, however, a journal of a group of friends done in a radio morning show format playing the music of the era. We have every recording. We interviewed our girlfriends before “The Prom” or whatever. We shared growing up, getting married and having kids on WTIT. Later it was stories of divorces, new wives or girlfriends and grandchildren.
Just like with any group of friends, people came and left over the years. More than 50 gentlemen have sat around our big round table in what is now a state of the art digital recording studio. We still call it “Tape Radio” because we’re old guys who hate change. This comedy blog has won numerous awards and tells part of the story, but exists mostly to comment on life, politics, music and entertainment as it passed by our virtual window. One of our original guys left in 1985. But in 2013 he returned. So our starting five have three of the creators of WTIT.
Shortly after that on our http://facebook.com/WTITRADIO page we announced when our next recording night would be. Another of the original five had come back to join in. Galloping Gary, our brother, returned (since 1982) to record. The "Galloping Gary Garage Show" returned to WTIT in 2014. So for one special night (the first since 1973), four of the founding five were sitting at our table. The sight where all the guys who came after them had sat.
If you’re here for a laugh, we hope you enjoy your visit. If you’re here because of a cosmic accident where all of the web except this blog has gone, then we simply apologize. To learn more about WTIT visit WTIT.net. (View my