WTIT: The Blog

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Welcome to the W.T.F. meme. BPD in OKC decided to jump into the deep end of the meme pool. This three day (Wednesday, Thursday & Friday) meme is quite the undertaking. She does a great job with it.

W.T.F. Thursday: What is Your Major Malfunction This Thursday?

1) When I was in an elementary school gym class, I was wearing a skirt that somehow fell clear down to my ankles. (Luckily I was a tomboy and had shorts underneath so my panties weren’t exposed.) Have you ever had a major wardrobe malfunction? You are going with, “Luckily I was a tomboy and had shorts underneath so my panties weren’t exposed.”??? Really?? Who in elementary school wears pants over their panties and why? I forgot. You have a tendency to make no sense whatsoever. Holy shit, Sherlock. We are off and running!

2) One of my favorite things to do when I’m bored is watch videos of Jack Vale pulling pranks on people at Walmart and Target (he uses a device to make farting noises near shoppers, covertly blows bubbles at people, and talks about strangers on the phone) while someone else captures the shoppers’ reactions on video. If you could work undercover and see how people behave in a situation and how they respond to you, what identity would you take? Hugh Hefner 30 odd years ago. Thanks for the fart imagery. Classy.

3) Everyone seems to disagree on how to put your toilet paper on the holder. I’ve found the solution… my toilet paper just sits on the counter, but I know most people aren’t like me and actually want the convenience of toilet paper that rolls off a holder. So when you replace your toilet paper roll, do you make it where the paper rolls over the top or from the bottom? I hate that I know this answer. It should roll over the top. Any printed tissue would illustrate why.

4) Would you rather have a two-hour appointment talking about your deepest thoughts and emotions with a mental health therapist or doing your taxes with an accountant? I’d have more to gain with my accountant.

5) One of my coworkers has a severe annoyance toward people eating carrots. If looks could kill when someone is crunching on carrots, she’d brutally murder half the people in our department. Are there any noises that drive you up the wall? Your co-worker is an ass. Me? I tend not to sweat the small fucking stuff.

6) If and when you play Monopoly, which figurine do you usually grab? I’ve never really played it, but I’m all about the cute doggy. Why am I here? She clearly is in another space and time.

7) How would you cope if you were not allowed to know all the details about your significant other’s job (like if they were in the CIA or in the military)? I wouldn’t.

8) What do you think the world would be like if cows produced Red Bull instead of milk? Lifeless.

9) Today (June 23) is National Pink Day. My grandfather always said, “Real men don’t wear pink.” Do you think a man can wear pink clothing and still appear masculine? Unless you are in a breast cancer awareness event, I’m with Gramps here.

10) If your neighbors kept their Christmas lights up all year and actually lit them up at least once a week, would you be annoyed or would you not even care? Being annoyed would be a bit of a waste of time. It is their house. Having a chat with them might be in order. They could be (mentally) ill and in need of medical care. This also (BTW) falls under sweating the small stuff.

11) On Tuesday, I reported one of my neighbors to the city animal welfare department because of animal cruelty for leaving their two tiny puppies outside in 100-degree heat for hours every day without food and water. (Ironically, these aren’t the same neighbors who are drug dealers. I just live in THAT kind of neighborhood.) Have you ever had to report your neighbors for some sort of crime or law violation? No. And from what you’ve revealed in these wordy memes is that you probably should move. Reporting people in your neighborhood might be dangerous to your health.