1. You mention to your neighbor, with the body odor, that you are heading out to the mall in the morning. Neighbor asks to go with. What do you say? Since I would not go to the mall at gunpoint, I am not sure how to respond here. But, if that were to happen, I’d take them. And then I’d sell my fucking car. 2. You go up and down every aisle in the parking lot until you finally scope out that perfect place. You patiently pull over to the side and put your signal on to wait for the person pulls out. Someone snags your spot before you can pull in. What do you do? Since I go nowhere without my Sarah Palin automatic rifle, I’d slaughter the fucker. Truth? Life is too short to get worked up while driving.
3. You find that perfect sweater for grandpa and it’s the last one in that size. Some lady with three screaming kids approaches you and asks for the sweater for her husband who is deployed in Iraq. What do you do? I’d give her the sweater. I never met my mom’s dad and have but one memory of my dad’s father, I seldom buy either gifts. I don’t see dead people.
4. You found the perfect gift for your best friend and you notice that there are no less than 100 people in line in front of you. Unfortunately, you just drank 3 cups of coffee before you entered the store. What do you do? I don’t drink coffee. I don’t wait in lines. I’m not good at this am I?
5. You’re within 10 people of the checkout after waiting in line for 40 minutes and the person in front of you lets three people in line- he was just saving the spot. What do you do? Go get the Palin gun. Plus I wouldn’t wait in a line to buy something. This is why God created Amazon.
6. You get to the check out and your card is declined. What do you do? Use another other card? Like what other option is there besides leaving embarrassed?
7. Oops…you forgot to buy something for Aunt Edna. Do you regift the fruit cake George from next door gave you? I’d find a DVD I hadn’t opened. Besides my Aunt Edna is a hooker. She’s loaded.
8. Are you planning on doing most of your shopping in the stores or online this year? I haven’t shopped in stores since the 90s. This was a great meme, Harriet!
That’s a wrap on WTIT: The Blog
for a Monday.
We were on time for the first time.
We always take a day off on Tuesdays.
Unless we don’t.
Same time. Same blog.
Bud Weiser - Downtown, Connecticut, United States
After a radio, nightclub and television career of over 25 years, I still write and perform comedy with essentially the same group of guys that I started with over 45 years ago. We began as WTIT: Tape Radio and have kept the moniker ever since. What WTIT is, however, a journal of a group of friends done in a radio morning show format playing the music of the era. We have every recording. We interviewed our girlfriends before “The Prom” or whatever. We shared growing up, getting married and having kids on WTIT. Later it was stories of divorces, new wives or girlfriends and grandchildren.
Just like with any group of friends, people came and left over the years. More than 50 gentlemen have sat around our big round table in what is now a state of the art digital recording studio. We still call it “Tape Radio” because we’re old guys who hate change. This comedy blog has won numerous awards and tells part of the story, but exists mostly to comment on life, politics, music and entertainment as it passed by our virtual window. One of our original guys left in 1985. But in 2013 he returned. So our starting five have three of the creators of WTIT.
Shortly after that on our http://facebook.com/WTITRADIO page we announced when our next recording night would be. Another of the original five had come back to join in. Galloping Gary, our brother, returned (since 1982) to record. The "Galloping Gary Garage Show" returned to WTIT in 2014. So for one special night (the first since 1973), four of the founding five were sitting at our table. The sight where all the guys who came after them had sat.
If you’re here for a laugh, we hope you enjoy your visit. If you’re here because of a cosmic accident where all of the web except this blog has gone, then we simply apologize. To learn more about WTIT visit WTIT.net. (View my