Welcome to Rock ‘n Roll Fridays on WTIT: The Blog. This meme appealed to us because of a twist in its concept. Each week Janera Jepson (its host) picks a rock band, artist or era. She digs up thirteen quotes from the song lyrics and asks her questions based on the quotes. It is similar to her Wednesday meme. Anyway, she is a friend of Crazy Sam, so we are on board. Let’s do it. The quotes and meme questions are in bold.

Rock and Roll Fridays: Sting

1. DESERT ROSE: This desert flower, no sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this… What is your favorite scent? I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

2. EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE: Every move you make, every vow you break, every smile you fake, every claim you stake, I’ll be watching you. Ever stalked or researched an old flame? No, but I have been stalked. It’s about as much fun as a poke in the eye. Keep those cards and letters coming folks.

3. IF I EVER LOSE MY FAITH IN YOU: I never saw no miracle of science that didn’t go from a blessing to a curse… What product did you buy that didn’t do what it claimed? I bought a special cologne from a guy named Won Hung Lo. It promised that every woman that I met would instantly want to do a threesome with me. I demanded my money back. It only worked I’d say half the time.

4. IF YOU NEED SOMEBODY SET THEM FREE: If you need somebody, call my name. If you want someone, you can do the same… Do you have a nickname or have you been called something other than your given name? So, you figure my parents named me Bud Weiser? Do the math.

5. WE WORK THE BLACK SEAM: One day in a nuclear age they may understand our rage. They build machines that they can’t control and bury the waste in a great big hole… What do you do that is considered “Green”? I’m very into compact fluorescent bulbs. Oh. I used to smoke pot back in the day.

6. MOON OVER BOURBON STREET: It was many years ago that I became what I am, I was trapped in this life like an innocent lamb… What was the worst job you ever had? There’s been a lot. I’ll go with Cox Communications. When I left radio I sold television for a year. The basic problem was no one there understood how to sell it. So almost any merchant who had invested in advertising got zero results. I promised, since they thought I was over qualified and were right, to stay a year. I quit exactly a year to the day.

7. I BURN FOR YOU… In peace we sleep entwined and your love flows through me. Though an ocean soothes my head, I burn for you… What is the worst thing about sleeping with someone else in a bed? I think it’s when you want hot sex and are told she’s got a headache. And have you ever notice that if at that point you say something romantic like, “Then give me a blowjob bitch” it can start an argument? Go figure.

8. FORTRESS AROUND YOUR HEART: And if I built this fortress around your heart,Encircled you in trenches and barbed wire, then let me build a bridge, for I cannot fill the chasm… What object or piece of furniture have you built? BWAHAHAHA. Good one.

9. ENGLISHMAN IN NEW YORK: I don’t drink coffee I take tea my dear, I like my toast done on one side, and you can hear it in my accent when I talk, I’m an Englishman in New York… Do you require special preparation for a food or drink in a restaurant? Yes. I want my Smirnoff below 32 degrees and shaken, not stirred.

10. FIELDS OF GOLD: I never made promises lightly, and there have been some that I’ve broken. But I swear in the days still left we’ll walk in the fields of gold… What was the last promise you made? “I’ll love you forever.” I just don’t remember what woman I said it to. OK yes, there was Smirnoff involved.

11. CONSIDER ME GONE: To search for perfection is all very well, but to look for Heaven is to live here in Hell. After today, consider me gone… What was the worst way you ever broke up in a relationship? In my experience it generally happens after you say “Give me a blowjob bitch.”

12. THE RUSSIANS: How can I save my little boy from Oppenheimer’s deadly toy, there is no monopoly in common sense on either side of the political fence… What is your biggest fear of danger? That we will never get out of these pointless wars.

13. BRAND NEW DAY: How many lonely, sleepless nights, how many lies, how many fights, and why would you want to put yourself through all that again? Do you prefer being married or single? Apparently I am better at single. I’ve got ex-wives who would testify to that in court. Thanks. We’re back with Crazy Sam.