WTIT: The Blog

1. Is there anything that you tend to do to cheer up when you are having a bad day? I tend to scream and stomp my feet until I get my way. If that doesn’t work I threaten to hold my breath until I die.

2. What’s the last card game you played, and with whom did you play? I don’t think I’ve mentioned that there are French twins who live in my building. Anyway, they had a couple of girlfriends over and they rang me up to play cards. There is nothing like a high spirited game of strip poker to spend a Friday night.

3. What’s the last board game you played, and with whom did you play? My lady bought me Beatles’ Monopoly. Compared to strip poker it was like watching paint dry. And of course, I lost. At least with strip poker no one really loses.

4. What’s the last computer game you played, and with whom did you play? I’m 258 years old. The last computer game I played was Atari ping pong. It was riveting.

5. Is there somewhere you’d like to visit but have not, and where is it? Jill Hennessy’s bedroom. Oh, and it’s in her house.

6. Think of your favorite movie (or a movie you really like, if you can’t think of a favorite). Some people say that the reasons you love your favorite movie are related to what you value in romantic relationships. How is this true or untrue in your case? My favorite movie is Alice in Wonderland. I mean the X-rated version. The musical numbers are terrific and when she gives the Mad Hatter a blowjob it usually takes my breath away. Very romantic.

7. How many people live in your house? Tell us about them. Two. One is me. I am totally hedonistic and live in a fantasy world. The other is my lady. She is totally beautiful inside and out. What the fuck she sees in me is anybody’s guess. You won’t believe this, but I am somewhat of a piece of work.

8. What physical attributes do you find the most attractive? Why didn’t Harriet use this fucking question in Mayhem as a “most asked meme question”? I’ll go with ears. I’ve never said it before. And besides, Google did some research and explained to me that I lose almost all of my readers after my first blowjob answer. Something to do with…how did they say it? Right. The “all men are pigs factor.”

9. Ever punch someone in the face? Only once that I remember. I was at a company party for my sister’s company. Her boss was as drunk as a man could be and kept coming over to me and poking me in the shoulder. I cannot remember the exact nature of his problem with me. but such is the nature with drunks. After what was at least the tenth time, I told him if he touched me again I would deck him. He touched. I decked him. My sister’s hot girlfriend was so impressed that she went home with me. Fortunately, my sister’s boss was so drunk that he didn’t remember anything. The next day he asked my sister how he had hurt his jaw. My sister deadpanned, “I think you fell.” He did eventually find out the truth, and called me to apologize. That was in 1993. My sister still works for the company. What ever happened to The Poker I’ve never heard. Join us with Judd!