WTIT: The Blog

Welcome to Wednesday Wickedness on WTIT: The Blog. This meme appealed to us because of a twist in its concept. Each week Janera Jepson (its host) picks a celebrity. She digs up ten quotes from the person and asks her questions based on the quotes. Who would think someone would do something original? We didn’t see that coming. Anyway, she is a friend of Crazy Sam, so we are on board. Let’s do it. The quotes and meme questions are in bold.

Wednesday Wickedness: Ellen Degeneres

1. “I was coming home from kindergarten–well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It’s good for a kid to know how to make gloves.” How old were you when you started working and what was your first job? I was 15 when I started working as a facilitator at Madam Boothby’s Brothel and Rum Bar. My job was to match the customers up with the ‘tutes. Madam Boothby went along with my premise that I’d make better matches if I experienced the girls. I’m not sure it helped business, but it does explains a lot about me.

2. “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.” Tell us about your grandparents. They got old. They died. The end.

3. “Procrastination isn‘t the problem, it’s the solution. So procrastinate now, don’t put it off.” Do you procrastinate or are you on top of the situations? Give me some time to think about this one. Can I get back to you?

4. “Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.” What would others say about you? He’s is a complete moron. It amazing he can get anybody to read his dribble. He makes no sense whatsoever. But I’m sure they’d mean it in a very affectionate way.

5. “The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble” Do you believe in life on other planets? Shit, yea. Where do you think Spock came from?

6. “I’m a godmother, that’s a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that’s cute, I taught her that.” Do you have a godchild? No. I think they expect you to actual practice whatever ceremonial nonsense that their religion practices thus expecting you to believe it so that you become apart of it. This my surprise you, but their God and I are not really on speaking terms.

7. “I don’t understand the sizes anymore. There’s a size zero, which I didn’t even know that they had. It must stand for: ‘Ohhh my God, you’re thin.'” When was the last time that you were called too thin? I was very ill for over a year of my life. I heard that. I wanted to shout, “Moron! I’m dying as fast as I can!” The prognosis was not good. But, I did beat the odds. I think it’s because I was to start a blog after I recovered.

8. “I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me – they’re just, like, ‘I can’t believe you don’t remember me!” I’m like, ‘Oh Dad I’m sorry!'” Who was the last person that you should have recognized but didn’t? Your mother. Can you FINALLY get her to stop sending her naked photos to me? Oh, and she’s gaining a bit of weight, btw.

9. “I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It’s been about two months since I’ve worked out. And I just don’t have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.” Do you work out? Have you ever joined a gym and quit almost immediately? No and no. I’m already perfect. At least Michelle and MaBelle, the French twins that live upstairs have told me that. And do the French ever lie?

10. ‘We use 10 percent of our brains. Imagine how much we could accomplish if we used the other 60 percent.” Do you feel that you utilize all your intelligence in every situation? If you are a reader of this blog you’d probably agree intelligence does not have a lot to do with anything I do. Happy Hump Day. Today is my daughter Jules’ 25th birthday. Happy birthday, Muffin. I love you. See you next time. Join us for Thunking.