Welcome again to Stealing which we bring you weekly on The WTIT Blog. We have gotten really good at just stealing a meme from someone else’s post. (You can play this meme with Judd and click on the official Sunday Stealing meme.) Today we ripped off this meme from a blogger named Garamond Bophin at the blog Garamond Bophin’s Journal. He states that he took it from Sally Maria. But it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. All meme questions are in bold.
Cheers to all of us thieves!
2. Where did the shirt you are currently wearing come from? I am wearing a WTIT tee shirt. It came from a company called Custom Ink.
3. What do your bank checks look like? Bank checks. What a fucktardian question. Oh, and I’ve pictures of my virtual dog Happy on them.
4. What’s the last thing you spent more than $100 on? Lingerie for the French twins. Trust me, they were born for Victoria’s Secret.
5. Name something that will be on your Christmas wish list: Who the fuck starts a Christmas list in fucking June?
6. What color is your toothbrush? Blow me.
7. Name something you collect and tell us about it. Naked pictures of my female readers. I ran a contest some time ago for women to send me their photos. There were a ton submitted. I think someone named Sweet Cop’s Wife won. Oddly now long after, I still get submissions. Ladies, you can add to the collection by emailing us at email@example.com.
8. Last restaurant you ate at. Who were you with? How was it? I did Chinese at a place called The Golden Shower. I was a guest of the owner and his twin daughters. He thought he could marry them off to me if he told me they were French. What can you expect from a guy whose name Du Maz Rok?
9. Who was the last person you bought a birthday card for? Yoko Ono. No one is a bigger fan of John than I am. It seems that I am the only fucker on the planet who does not blame her for the Beatles splitting up forty years ago. She always remembers my birthday, so why not?
10. What is your worst bad habit? Responding to fucktardian memes.
12. If a movie was made about your life what would the theme song be? My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink and I Don’t Love Jesus by Jimmy Buffett.
13. Whose number were you looking up the last time you used a phone book? My fucking doctor’s. He was suppose to get back to me on some tests concerning ruptured discs in my neck. I gave up and made an appointment. I will see him on Wednesday.
14. Other than family, who is the person that you love most? That would be my lady. I once responded to a Stealing question that was, “What are you afraid of?” by saying that I was afraid I’d never fall in love again. I’m a not afraid anymore.
15. What is the last thing you cooked? I cooked dinner on Friday night for my lady. It was rather thoughtful of her to invite my neighbors. I have no idea why the husband is still so pissed at me. Although, all things considered that dude must really like a free meal.
16. Name something you wouldn’t want to buy used? Condoms.
18. What is the last thing you remember losing? My marbles. Has anybody seen them?
19. What is the ugliest piece of furniture in your house? I think a better question would be which piece is not.
20. Last thing you bought and ended up returning? Grandma Does Dallas III. They actually had the nerve to use the first installment and call it the third. And the opening scene with Bobby Ewing getting a blowjob in the shower to explain that it was all a dream really didn’t cut it.
21. What perfume/cologne do you wear? If none, why? I wear none because it can not offend. Whatever cologne a guy wears someone will not like.
23. What was the last board game you played? Beatles’ Monopoly. Great fucking follow up question, btw.
24. Where did your vehicle come from? A car dealer. Did you fucking think I built it from parts?
26. You’re sad, who can cheer you up easily? I don’t do sad. It is rather a waste of energy.
28. What house cleaning chore do you hate to do the most? I don’t do cleaning. I leave that up to my hot housekeeper.
29. What is your favorite way to eat chicken? Standing on one foot.
30. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is? True story: I love Boston Cream Pie. I gave up sweets years ago, but that was my fave. My ex-wife and I were best friends with a couple who lived across the street. My friend’s wife made me Boston cream Pie for my birthday and brought it over when she knew my wife was out. When my ex-wife came home, that was the end of the friendship with that couple. Although, truth be told, it might have been because my neighbor’s wife was wearing a bikini that caused the stir. At least she put the top back on when my ex-wife got home. I hate it when a woman overreacts.
Enjoy your Sunday.
We’re back with Mayhem.