This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Kimber, the color of cooked crab, and the number 544.
1. It’s the first of April, do you play April Fool’s jokes on anyone? Why would I try to do that here on The Blog? No one believes a word I say anyway. So, I think it would be rather redundant. If you mean in every day life, no. But here’s another clue for you all: The walrus was Paul.
2. Do you like to eat sardines? I don’t think I have ever had one. How do they feel about me?
3. Have you ever played racquetball? I was an excellent player back in the day. I used to play four days a week. I was in leagues and won a lot. I ruptured a disc in my back after a few years. I had the first of what became seven back surgeries. I tried to return but I had to give it up. Nowadays, the French twins help out when I have back pain. I don’t mean they know shit about backs, but trust me on this: They can take your mind off anything.
4. If eating at a fast food joint that has a dollar menu, do you order a bunch of different dollar items or just go ahead and get a regular meal? I’d only do it at gunpoint. I gave up fast food a while back.
5. Have you ever taken a brand new pencil and sharpened it in an electric sharper until it was almost gone just because you were bored? Oh moly, Jodi! How bored would I’d have to be? How long would that take, say 60 seconds? Then I’d be knocking on my neighbor’s door. I mean if he were out of town. His wife is anything but boring.
6. Do you have any old broken computers still sitting around your home? Yes. My Sony Vaio died at ten years-old in July. My son asked me not to toss it. He lives in San Diego and plays in the rock band So Long Davey. I think the only shot of him actually picking it up is if the band plays at one of the casinos in Connecticut.
7. Ricky Martin came out this week stating he is gay. Were you shocked, had a feeling, “who?” or just didn’t care? I could not care less. I believe that a person’s sexual orientation is just their own business. I wonder how William Hung felt about it?
8. If marijuana is legalized, do you think it should have a luxury tax added onto it? The only shot of marijuana becoming legal would be for tax revenue. They are actually currently considering this in California because the state government is about to become insolvent. I think marijuana should be legalized for whatever reason you want to chose. Besides, Kimber would never have been able to write this meme without it.
9. What’s the oddest thing you have sitting on your computer desk right now or where ever it is you may be sitting with a laptop (you could be sitting at a Starbucks with an alien from Mars for all we know)? I have a woman’s earring on it. I keep forgetting to mention it to her. Now I think I just did.
10. Have you ever bumped into a former lover and found out they were now gay or straight depending on your relationship with them? What the fuck does this question mean? What fucking gay person goes straight? Have you ever even heard of that? And are you asking if we know of someone who had decided to become gay because of our relationship with them? Kimber, the pot is WAY too strong. Seriously, I did find out that a college girlfriend became bi-sexual. We had a reunion lunch some six years back. I was very understanding and sensitive with her. Then, of course, I asked her for a threesome.
11. Have you ever held a tarantula? Gee, no. Maybe on Easter?
12. Shower- curtain, door, walk-in, or do you just roll around in the dirt to get the stink off? This is another question that borders on the ridiculous. No, that’s wrong. This is a fucking crazy question. Yes, Kimber. We do all shower. Why would anyone care if it has a curtain or is a walk in?
13. Which commercial is the most annoying to you on TV or radio? I am sick to death of the fucking money with eyes on it. I know somebody’s watching me. I’ve been stalked by the best of them. But Geico has got to move on.
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