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All posts for the month March, 2010

Imagine There’s No Heaven

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on March 31, 2010
Posted in: Random Dozen. Leave a comment

The Random Dozen is hosted by a woman named Linda Crow. This meme has a great following. As memes go, this one is a bit of a left turn. But since Linda has not sued us to stop crashing her meme, we are here again. I’m sure she’s ecstatic. Meme questions are in bold.

The Random Dozen: Kissing Chickens and Other Weirdness

1. How do you feel about the marshmallow Easter Peeps? They will one day rise up from their yellow nothingness and conquer the world as we know it.

2. Chickens are notoriously nervous creatures. When you are nervous, what is the best way to calm down? You must be my waitress. Smirnoff martini, shaken not stirred.

3. People say, “April showers bring May flowers.” Do you enjoy Spring rains? Who the hell enjoys the rain besides John Lennon?

4. When I was randomly flipping through TV channels this week, I saw a show in which tattoo parlor employees received tattoos of a co-worker’s face on their bodies. I can’t imagine having a portrait of a colleague tattooed on me. But if someone forced you to receive a portrait tattoo (face only) of anyone, who would it be? Why? John Lennon. Wow, twice. Imagine there’s no Heaven. It’s easy if you try. No hell below us, above us only sky. Imagine all the people living for today.

5. Would you rather have a tattoo (any kind) or a nose ring? I never thought I’d think of getting a tat. But if those are the only choices. Tattoo away.

6. Do you have any special plans for Easter? God, I hope not. We really don’t make a deal out Easter in my family. But occasionally, there are plans. Right now, I’m just booked on Easter Eve.

7. Cadbury Eggs or Reese Eggs? Go suck an egg. Either kind.

8. What was the last thing/person you took a picture of? We took our 2010 WTIT Staff picture a few weeks ago for the WTIT Photo Blog. I used a timer.

9. What book are you reading now, or what was the last one? I’m reading Threesomes and Other Major Religious Experiences by Grappa Mifriendtoo.

10. What do you think is the most difficult task when it comes to Spring cleaning? Paying my hot housekeeper to actually do it.

11. How many pairs of flip-flops do you own? Who the fuck cares? Oops. I’m trying to be better. So, no I own no flippin’ flip-flops. Thanks for asking.

12. Which color makes you happiest? Blue. As in “What a great blue job!” Spelling is not my strength. I’m close to spelling it right, right?


That’s it for your Hump Day!
And for the last day of March.
WTIT: The Blog will return.
We could be Thursday Thunking!
Kimber or Berleen will be hosting.
They’re probably gearing
up right now. Join us then.
Peace bros!

Has Anyone Seen My Wife?

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on March 30, 2010
Posted in: Monday Mayhem. Leave a comment

Welcome to Monday Mahem! The place where nothing matters and we can all have fun on a Monday. Every week is something different. Today’s Meme is the Annoying Meme. For each of the prompts, name what annoys you. All the meme questions are in bold.

Monday Mayhem: The Annoying Meme

What annoys you about people that you spend time with outside your home (coworkers etc)? I actually like my customers and co-workers. My boss is generally more annoyed by me than I am ever by him. So, let me search. Oh, I know one. I hate it when attractive women wear clothes. That annoys me.

What annoys you about people in your home? Just me, since I live alone. And truth be told I must be very annoying since my wives have kept disappearing.

What annoys you about talking on the phone? Sometimes everything. You are either in the mood for a phone call or not. The worst are robo-calls that ask you to hold. Who would do that? How lonely must you be?

What annoys you about the over-used terms that people use? The only one I really don’t get is one I started using on my blog. When the media talking heads like Brian Williams starting saying “We’re back” instead of “We’re back after this” it drove me nuts. But I also thought that when the first time I heard “my bad” it was stupid. Now I say it all the time. You tend to adjust.

What annoys you about restaurant foods? I hate it when the waitress spits in my food.

What annoys you about restaurant servers? I hate it when the waitress says that if I tipped more she wouldn’t spit in my food.

What annoys you about reading other blogs? I don’t read blogs that annoy me. It’s kind of one and done thing. The blogs I do read, I’d say ads and pay-per-posts are annoying. But since I don’t know someone’s situation, it’s hard to be too judgmental. Since I am basically a meme guy, I find players who simply say “yes” or “no” as a response annoying. Why bother?

What annoys you about memes? Bad questions. But I don’t see how you can avoid them. Plus, I do enjoy complaining about the questions. Last week I went too far on the woman who substituted for Linda on Random Dozen. It was her first meme. I hammered her. When I read it back I wrote her an email to apologize. She was extremely nice to me. She stated she had been warned about me and expected it. So a big shout out to South Lakes Mom from the blog I Didn’t Know That. She was kinder than I deserved.

What annoys you about commenting on blogs? I wish that more people when they comment on your post (if it’s a meme) that they’d refer to the question rather than the question number. “Laughed loudly at #4!” is not exciting.

What annoys you about people who chew gum? Everything. Sorry.

What annoys you about driving on the highway? Just weather. I mean you can always get worked up about what another driver does, but in truth, we all fuck up when we drive. I decided years ago to only get annoyed at a driver who does something to me that I haven’t accidentally done to someone else. I am seldom annoyed anymore.

What annoys you about shopping at Walmart? Nothing. You get what you pay for. And I love the naked greeters.

What annoys you about kids? If kids are out of control I blame the parents. I love kids. I am a father of four and I have two grandchildren.

What annoys you about your gender? Men are pigs. It’s funny that until I started writing this blog I never reacted in a typically stupid male way to life’s events. I do it on The Blog because it’s funny. What’s strange is when someone I’m dating quotes my blog back to me as if everything I write is real. I was on a date once where the next morning the woman who had spent the night asked me a question. She asked me why I slept with my tee shirt and underwear on. I replied, “Because I always do.” She said that on my blog I stated I sleep in the nude. I told her to stop reading my blog because it had no redeeming social value whatsoever.

What annoys you about the opposite sex? Women who dismiss the idea of a threesome without any discussion. How closed minded can you get?

What annoys you about shoes? Not a thing since I discovered Rockport. I still prefer my feet naked, however.

What annoys you about shopping for clothes? Everything. I may have to get married again to solve the problem. That is a joke. Once I began shopping online, I’m okay with it.

What annoys you about music? Nothing if it’s rock. Everything if it is classical, hip hop or rap.

What annoys you about drinking alcohol? Mother’s milk? This is a very annoying question. If it weren’t for alcohol, I wouldn’t be earning a living. It is truly a calling. I like to say “I do God’s work.”

What annoys you about pizza? At the moment the Dominoes’ commercials. They had to do a taste test to figure out that it sucked? Holy moly, Jodi! They could have asked just one customer.

That’s a wrap on WTIT: The Blog for a Monday.
Sorry we were late to the party, yet again.
We will take a day off and return Wednesday.
Unless we get a better offer.
Same time. Same blog.

I Was Only Sleeping

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on March 29, 2010
Posted in: sunday stealing. Leave a comment

Welcome again to Stealing which we bring you weekly on The WTIT Blog. We have gotten really good at just stealing a meme from someone else’s post. (You can play this meme with Judd and click on the official Sunday Stealing meme.) Today we ripped off this meme from a blogger named Chibi Pon from the blog Please Don’t Stop the Music. She states that she grabbed it from a friend on Nettby 😄. But, it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft’s thieves might take some time. All meme questions are in bold.

Cheers to all us thieves!

Sunday Stealing: The 35 Questions X 2 Meme: Part One

1. How far away is the last person you kissed? 86.26 miles. Give or take a kilometer.

2. Has someone ever told you they would be with you forever? Yes. Quite a few. Yet I live alone. Go figure. I don’t really believe in forever. Although as you get older you do realize one thing: Forever is getting to be a shorter period of time. So, who knows?

3. Last person you were in a car with? The woman who lives 86.26 miles away. She emailed me some great pictures of us from last night. I’d share them except for one thing. I promised I’d keep her out of The Blog’s debauchery. It seemed a reasonable request. Besides, I always keep a promise.

4. Any plans for tomorrow? I do this thing called work. I am committed to keeping Massachusetts safe from sobriety.

5. How long does it take for you to take a shower? It depends on who that I’m with.

6. Best friend or close friends? What kind of choice is this? Another fucktardian meme. Step right up. We seem to find them all.

7. Is tomorrow going to be a good day? Do I look like a fucking fortune teller? You’re on our own with this one.

8. Ever thrown up in public? No. But I hear it’s great. I’m hoping to do it one day.

9. Did you kiss anyone Friday? No. I was with fellow WTIT DJ Johnnie Walker watching March Madness.

10. What’s on your mind RIGHT NOW? Two things. I am Tivoing the UConn woman’s game and will watch it after I publish this sucker. The other thing is sex. What’s that – you’re shocked? Hey, I am a guy. We are always thinking about sex. And yes, you may quote me on that.

11. Who was the last person you talked to? The beautiful woman who happens to live 86.26 miles away. My exact words? “Good night. Drive carefully.” Pretty fucking original, if you ask me.

12. What is the WORST subject they teach at school? All the advanced math crap. They teach you to figure out the square feet of a cow pasture but not how to balance a check book or a 1040 tax form.

13. Have you seen anyone lately that you don’t get along with? No. I cannot even think of anyone in my life that I don’t get along with.

14. What is your favourite colour top to wear? News break! This just in: Guys don’t wear tops. Shirts at times, but never a top. I know. I like to think of this blog as an educational tool.

15. Have you ever been in a car accident? Great. Another meme that a 12 year-old wrote. Yes. Final answer, Regis.

16. What’s the closest thing to you that’s green? Blow me.

17. Where would you like to be right now? I am, always a fan of being where I actually am at the moment. But I do always hold out for my best offer.

18. Write down some lyrics to the song you’re listening to? The song is Don’t Wait by Dashboard Confessional:

The sky glows
I see it shining when my eyes close
I hear your warnings but we both know
I’m gonna look at it again

Don’t wait, Don’t wait
The road is now a sudden sea
And suddenly, you’re deep enough
To lay your armor down
To lay your armor down
To lay your armor down

You get one look
I’ll show you something that the knife took.
A bit to early for my own good
Now let’s not speak of it again

Don’t wait, Don’t wait
The road is now a sudden sea
And suddenly, you’re deep enough
To lay your armor down
To lay your armor down
To lay your armor down

Don’t wait, Don’t wait
The lights will flash and fade away
The days will pass you by
Don’t wait
To lay your armor down.

And no, I haven’t a fucking clue as to what the lyrics mean either.

19. How many dogs do you have? Just my virtual dog, Happy. I think he wants a virtual girlfriend. But I am not sure I am ready to commit to another virtual pet. It is a ton of responsibility.

20. Is anything bugging you right now? Just this meme. Although truth be told, it beats a lot of the recent crap we’ve stolen.

21. Is life going right for you now? It’s getting better all the time. Sir Paul wrote that in 1967 for those of you playing the home version of WTIT: The Blog.

22. Is there someone you care about more than yourself? Of course. My kids and grandkids come immediately to mind.

23. What made you laugh today? So far just my responses to this meme. I am a big fan of my own comedy. I think I am a lot more clever and funnier than I really am. I guess that’s why The Blog is in it’s fifth year.

24. What was the last movie you watched? WTIT in Boobsville. Even though they blatantly ripped us off, the movie has some large assets.

25. What’s the last conversation you had about? The French twins came down to borrow a cup of sugar. Since they don’t cook, I did not quite get it. Until I saw what they were wearing. Not a bad morning, all in all.

26. What were you doing at 7:00 this morning? I was only sleeping.

27. Do you like your hair long or short? I loved wearing my hair long. But that was a long time ago in a universe far, far away.

28. Do you want to see somebody right now? Not really. I haven’t even showered since the twins left.

29. Do you like the rain? When the rain comes they run and hide their heads. They might as well be dead. Rain sucks. John wrote everything but the last two words back in 1966.

30. Did you have a valentine this year? No. And it saved me from a stupid card and buying chocolate.

31. The last person you kissed needs you at 3 am, would you go? Yes.

32. Would you honestly say you’d risk your life for someone else? From the moment my first child was born I knew that I would.

33. Honestly, if you could go back 1 month and change something would you? You mean after I wrote down all the winning Powerball numbers for the last month? Yes. Then, shockingly, I’d buy tickets. Then I’d pay some nut to write this shit.

34. How do you feel about boys smoking? OMG. She is a 12 year-old girl. I think anyone smoking is disgusting. But I understand the habit. I smoked from 12 years-old until I was 22. Twenty years later I started again. I quit for good in 2004.

35. Could you see yourself with someone forever? I’m having déjà vu all over again. So today’s SS was written by a twelve year-old girl who was stoned. The end. Was it good for you?

That’s it for today on the
WTIT: The Blog.
Enjoy your Sunday.
We’re back with Mayhem.
Peace, my friends.
Join us. Same time. Same blog.

Hell No, We Won’t Go

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on March 27, 2010
Posted in: Saturday 9. Leave a comment

Every Saturday WTIT: The Blog brings you a meme called Saturday 9. It’s not to say that this is a bright idea, but it is what we do. A woman named Crazy Sam started this meme because a prior popular Saturday meme specialist Lola had retired. So, Sam contacted all Lola’s participants and invited us to participate in her meme. The biggest difference is that Sam enjoys our participation. All of Sam’s questions and writing are in bold.

Saturday 9: You’re My Best Friend

1. Outside of your romantic life, do you currently have a best friend? Yes, my dog Happy. Now I know what you’re thinking. He’s just a virtual dog. Even though we don’t go for walks, I don’t ever have to pay big bucks to a vet, I don’t have to feed him, we are great pals. Did you know the he has never had an accident?

2. Regarding your future, what is the best thing you could hope for? I’m thinking Spanish triplets. I know. I’m never satisfied. A guy has to have some fantasies after all.

3. Have you ever helped out a friend with basic needs, like rent or food? If yes. what did you do? The last time a guy told me that he was hungry I told him that it might be a great time to start that diet that he’d been talking about.

4. If they re-instituted the draft (for both genders and your were of age) would you go, or would find some way out of it? The draft is the sole reason that we are in these stupid ass wars. When we had one during Vietnam, the rich did not want their kids to go. Eventually everyone realized that the war would never end. We’re back in the same situation. But without the draft, it’s easier to let the war go on forever. It’s only poor people’s kids dying. So, hell no, I won’t go. That said, I do respect and I am grateful to those who have served so that we can enjoy our freedom.

5. Tell us one thing you wish you hadn‘t let yourself do. Get married. You pick which time.

6. Tell us about the last time you bragged. I told the French twins when we met that I was hung like a horse. Okay, I didn’t think it through. Who figures that the night ends in a threesome? Fortunately I explained that I meant “toy horse” just in time.

7. What area are you wisest in? Just my last name. You’ve read this stupid shit that I write on The Blog six days a week. Do you think that I have much insight to share?

8. Tell us about something that happened that at the time made you “full of yourself”. Sorry, I can’t say. I’m probably fairly full of myself most of the time. I know. You are not surprised.

9. Has there ever been a time that you wanted to try something in the bedroom, but were afraid to ask? Who asks a question like this? I mean compared to that shit they call Random Dozen this is fucking brilliant. I can’t wait to read all the women’s answers. “I wanted to ask him if I could bring my girlfriend into our bed. But I was afraid he’d say “no”. Sam, your mom’s calling. Good girls don’t ask this shit.

We’re glad that you stopped by today.
Enjoy your weekend.
WTIT: The Blog will return tomorrow with
Judd Corizan and his Naked Female Biologists.
Join us for Sunday Stealing!
Same time. Same blog.

Everything Doesn’t Need a Reason

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on March 27, 2010
Posted in: Dating Profiles. Leave a comment

Either you have used sites such as Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them. Weekly, WTIT: The Blog scours those on-line dating sites to respond either ladies’ profiles or often their headlines as most of us would really like to do. (You can play this meme with Judd and click on the official The Dating Profile Meme!) The profile lines are in bold. Let the stupidity begin!

The Dating Profile Meme: That’s Not What Happens

1. I must say though I’ve meet some that on their profile they say “Wanting a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP” and for some reason or another that’s not what happens! Gee. People lie. Who knew?

2. I believe that all happens for a reason and that reason may not be for us to understand, just to accept. I believe that you are a fucking moron. You’ve heard that before? No doubt.

3. I can drive a truck, tractor, build a fence, work on my truck, rope steers, ride my horse in competiton and can dress up to take you out on a Saturday night. After a long bath and complete health check, I’d hope. Oh, yes. And maybe a psychiatric exam? Phew. Covered.

4. I’m independent, yet needy. You’re alone, yet lonely. I know. It’s a gift. That’s $300 for today’s session. When would you like your next appointment?

5. My partner should be loyal, hardworking and confident. Hope I’m not asking for too much. Yes, you are. In terms with what the medium IQ of what’s available. I wish I had better news to report.

6. Please No headcases, NO Liars, cheats, NOT married or exes drama. Just sincere and HONEST people please…. When you wish upon a star….

7. Weekend in Vegas and having it totally comp’d is awesome, going to an African wedding in Kenya was a blast, tango‘ng in Argentina was an experience, and swimming with sharks in Belize was an adrelaine rush. No “Bend Over and Grab Your ankles!”? How dull.

8. I do believe that you can not understand the true spirit of a person by the means of email. Whoa. That almost is heavy. If you leave out the “you’d have to be too stupid to live” part.

9. What I am particularly into right now is purchasing older homes, restoring them and renting them. You don’t need a date. You need a contractor.

10. Attraction dictates passion, passion allows understanding, and understanding initiates compromise. Compromise initiates divorce. Got it. An awful amount of clichés, for sure.

This feature and meme site was inspired by Mimi Lenox’s Dating Profile of the Day. Used with permission.

Thank you for dropping
by WTIT: The Blog today.
Next time we might be excellent.
Check that, we also might not.
Time will tell.
But doesn’t it always?
We’re back with Crazy Sam’s Saturday 9.
Join us Saturday. Same time. Same blog.

That’s Not What Happens

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on March 26, 2010
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment

Welcome to The Dating Profiles Meme. This meme is based on a feature from WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. This is a bit different than an “answer this question” meme. Either you have used sites such as Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them. Weekly, we scour those on-line dating sites to respond either a person’s profile or often their headlines as most of us would really like to do. We use only “lines” that are gender-neutral. So, your mission is to respond to ten we choose each week. Seriously or with humor is your choice! The spelling or grammar errors were in the original profiles. Join us each and every Friday!

The Dating Profiles Meme: That’s Not What Happens

1. I must say though I’ve meet some that on their profile they say “Wanting a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP” and for some reason or another that’s not what happens!

2. I believe that all happens for a reason and that reason may not be for us to understand, just to accept.

3. I can drive a truck, tractor, build a fence, work on my truck, rope steers, ride my horse in competiton and can dress up to go out with you out on a Saturday night.

4. I’m independent, yet needy.

5. My partner should be loyal, hardworking and confident. Hope I’m not asking for too much.

6. Please No headcases, NO Liars, cheats, NOT married or exes drama. Just sincere and HONEST people please….

7. Weekend in Vegas and having it totally comp’d is awesome, going to an African wedding in Kenya was a blast, tango’ng in Argentina was an experience, and swimming with sharks in Belize was an adrelaine rush.

8. I do believe that you can not understand the true spirit of a person by the means of email.

9. What I am particularly into right now is purchasing older homes, restoring them and renting them.

10. Attraction dictates passion, passion allows understanding, and understanding initiates compromise.

Thank you for playing this week on The Dating Profiles Meme . Please leave a comment or link when you have posted. Feel free to stop back and visit other player’s posts. Have a great week. Join us for Sunday Stealing. See you next Friday!

Your Mind is Easily Blown

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on March 25, 2010
Posted in: Thursday Thunks. Leave a comment

On Thursday WTIT: The Blog does a meme called Thursday Thunks written by Berleen and Kimber. We always have a good time with them. The great part of this feature is that they have a very unique way of asking questions. So we are back again. All the meme questions are in bold.

Thursday Thunks: Better Late Than Never – It’s Still Wednesday

This week we will answer some crazy questions brought to you by Berleen, the color of nothing, and the number 1.

1. I got nothing. What should I ask next week? Although I think Kimber should do it next week. Somehow. Kimber spends way too much time on Mafia Wars. It is neither none of my business nor my right to say where one wastes their time on the internet. But I will say I do miss your posts on your blogs on a regular basis from back in the day.

2. Wind chimes – annoying or not? Your lover explains that they are boinking their boss. Annoying or not? Your turn.

3. Camping – camper or tent? You’ve got to be shitting me. I’ll go with a Marriott.

4. Told ya I got nothing. This really sucks. I should have had Bud do this, huh? How did I know it would come to this? I know. A fucking lucky guess. I better get to work. Do you think the ladies will mind if I ask, “Spit out or swallow?” Oh, what the fuck. But I am sure that the answers would be sweet.

5. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? It’s either F or U. It’s a tie. I’ll go with FU.

6. So this week my kid had to type a research paper for English…then she had to email it to her teacher! Is that not just the oddest thing ever? Blew my mind away. Your mind is easily blown. And after my last couple of responses I will leave it at that.

7. Wow. These questions suck. They suck bad. Do you like to suck through straws? For what type of beverages? This questions are gems compared to yesterday’s Random Dozen. I complained so much the author said that “if you don’t like the questions then don’t play.” I apologized. It was her first ever meme. The questions did suck moose, however.

8. What do you do with your cell phones when you do those wonderful “upgrades” to the newer, fancier phones? I don’t. I want my cell to make and take calls. My iPod can do music and my Nikon takes great photos. When a cell can make a perfect Smirnoff martini I may reconsider.

9. It’s allergy season – unless you’ve completely missed all the people walking around with kleenexs stuck to their nose… what are you allergic to? Women who don’t sleep with you on the first date.

10. What did you sleep with as a child? My 14 year old babysitter. Hey, I was almost 12. She did give me insight as to how relationships should progress rather quickly.

That’s a Thursday at the Tape Radio Blog.
We hope we’ve made a valuable
contribution to The Blogosphere here.
We realize that is a lofty expectation.
WTIT: The Blog is back tomorrow.
Either way.
Join us for The Dating Profiles Meme.

Same time. Same blog.