WTIT: The Blog

Either you have used sites such as Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them. Weekly, WTIT: The Blog scours those on-line dating sites to respond either ladies’ profiles or often their headlines as most of us would really like to do. Please understand that we are not responding seriously or mean spiritedly. It is just the way we process the world. The spelling or grammar errors were in the original profiles. The profile statements are in bold. Let the stupidity begin!

I’m just looking for that someone that can roll with the punches and crack up with me no matter what we’re up to. So you need a fucking clown that’s a boxer. Good luck with that.

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a MAN, who’s not a creep, one who’s handsome, smart and strong, one who loves to listen long, one who thinks before he speaks, when he says he’ll call, he won’t wait weeks. This is my impression, no if ands or buts, I think dear lady, that you’re fucking nuts.

I believe that you shouldn’t have to be demanding to be treated well. Of course not. But your best shot is to ask for that shit right after sex. Just saying…

I consider myself “the nice girl”… Hey, as long as you get naked on the first date, I can deal with that.

I devote a lot of time to my marathon training, which means sometimes I may not be able to stay out late because I have to run 18 miles in the morning. Bonus points if you can run them with me! Not if you paid me a million dollars. So run away now!

I want someone who will give and receive equally, not just take, take, take. Then you don’t want a man. Geez, wake up and smell the Smirnoff.

I am looking for someone who is first and foremost a decent person who knows who he is and what he wants. All guys know who they are. And all they all want is a blowjob. That’ll be $200 for this therapy session.

I feel much younger than I am. Strange. You certainly don’t look it.

You put your right foot in, you take your right foot out. The fucking Hokey Pokey? That’s the best that do?

I’m the Queen of Romance. Nice to meet you Your Majesty. I’m Budwick, Prince of Hot Sweaty Sex.

Am I smart, most defnitely. But spelling isn’t your forte?

I love dressing up to go out for wine and swanky gourmet food, but sometimes, I just want a cold beer and greasy chicken fingers! Does the excitement ever cease?

If you can name, in alphabetical order, the nicknames of all 50 states, that’s great too. Great for what? Trivia Pursuit? Holy shit. That’s it. I am SO out of here!

This feature was inspired by Mimi Lenox’s Dating Profile of the Day. Used with permission.