Every Saturday WTIT: The Blog brings you a meme called Saturday 9. It’s not to say that this is a bright idea, but it is what we do. A woman named Crazy Sam started this meme because a prior popular Saturday meme specialist Lola had retired. So, Sam contacted all Lola’s participants and invited us to participate in her meme. The biggest difference is that Sam enjoys our participation. All of Sam’s questions and writing are in bold.
1. Do you feel that you have “a score to settle” with anyone? Yes. It is my neighbor’s husband. Every time he catches me in bed with his wife he says the rudest stuff. All I asked was if he would change his cologne because his pillows stink. Man, can that fucker pack a punch.
2. Do you own anything that you think is unbreakable? I used to think my dishes. I mean they are sold that way and guaranteed. I was washing one and the hot to cold-water thing caused it to shatter, cutting my hand. My girlfriend who bought the dishes said “But they’re guaranteed!” And proceeded to ask me where my receipt was. I said, “Who keeps receipts for dishes? Can we focus here? I’m bleeding to death.” She kept looking for the receipt in my drawers. So I bleed to death. Fun story, eh? Oh, it has a happy ending. She found the fucking receipt.
3. Tell us about a crazy thing you did in high school. I was making love behind the stadium with my brown-eyed girl. We got caught by a cop. I think we would have got off with a lecture until it became apparent that he was the girl’s father. Although it seemed he was really much more angry with her. He said, “This is the fifteenth time. Can’t you at least try another spot?” While he was shouting I ran away. Damn good thing that the girl and I didn’t know each other’s names.
5. Who wins American Idol? (if you don’t watch, tell us about a reality show that you do follow.) I am already on record with Adam Lambert. This is the first year that I don’t have a rooting interest.
6. What is your favorite movie in black & white? Casablanca is my favorite movie. Here’s looking at you kid.
7. What is one thing advertised too much on TV? Erectile dysfunction ads drive me nuts. I especially loath the ones when something mind numbing interrupts the couple and they don’t get to do the nasty until six weeks later. Nothing lasts that long. In my case even one of marriages was shorter.
8. What is your current favorite TV drama? Desperate Hookers on Showtime. The stories make no sense whatsoever and the acting sucks. This might be surprised you, but I can put up with a lot if there are naked women involved. It’s a quirk of mine, I guess.
9. What is your current favorite TV comedy? Golden Showers on HBO. It’s a real pisser.