41. It takes a big man to cry. It takes a bigger man to laugh at him.
Bud’s Laws Previously Revealed:
2. If it’s any good at all, they will discontinue it.
7. When the going gets tough, everybody leaves.
13. How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you are.
16. He who hesitates is probably right.
18. Few women admit their age. Fewer men act it.
19. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No sense being a fool about it.
20. Never delay the end of a meeting or the beginning of a happy hour.
21. If it were not for the last minute, nothing would get done at all.
23. No problem is to big, too complex or too complicated, that it can not be run away from.
25. In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right … something is wrong.
27. Once a job is fucked up, anything done to improve it will only make it worse.
29. Teamwork is essential. It allows you to blame someone else.
30. Everyone has a scheme that will not work. Everyone that does not work has a scheme that does.
31. If you keep your head while everyone is losing theirs, then you don’t understand the problem.
32. Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.
36. The customer who pays the least complains the most.
39. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
40. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.