1. What kind of dryer sheets do you use?

2. How many times a week do you eat out/order in? If you mean how often do I prepare my own food, the answer is nil. My hot housekeeper cooks a mean lasagna.

3. What did you do the night of your high school graduation? I got drunk and got laid. Is this a trick question? Isn’t that what everyone does on that night? I think it’s a law or something. I vaguely remember my date asking me if I’d love her forever. And you gotta say yes if you are going to get naked. I wonder what the fuck her name was?

4. So Octomom is rumored to have been offered a million bucks to do a porno. Would you do it for a million? I’d do it for $200. But that’s just me. The twins are still selling our DVDs on your way out of this meme. You will write me about my fine acting, won’t you?

5. If your child was born with an extra finger or toe, would you have it surgically removed? I did a full and thorough investigation. Doctors remove them routinely if they are not functional. If they are functional, they are left on. It makes it hard to flip the bird, but these folks somehow pull through.

6. What was the last movie you saw? Deep Throat: The Next Generation. While it does not have the charm of the first, these women sure seem to have a good time. And the surprise ending is to die for! I’d give it 3 ½ peckers.

7. I wanna buy you a dozen roses, what color should they be? Make them red. That way I’ll remember at your divorce trial. I can see it now. I’ll say, “Really dude, she only sent me the red roses. But if I were going to do somebody’s wife it would be yours. She’s sexy and funny and has great ta-tas. I mean, so I’ve been told…”

8. You are walking across the street, you are not quite half way when a speeding car comes… you have to run to get out of its way, which direction do you run? I’d run toward the car. That would show the fucker!

9. Tell us about a time when you were invited over somewhere and had the most awful time. Berleen, this is almost a good question. What if they read my blog? I’d explain I had to tell the blogosphere because it was a meme question? OK, at my divorces. I was clearly invited, but they sucked. Now after the ceremony, that’s a great party. There is nothing like getting rid of your spouse to lift your spirits!

10. You open your front door and there is a box with a puppy in it… what do you do? I’d move it to your house. I figure, your question, your puppy. I only do pictures of pets. Never the real article. Plus, it would be better for the dog. I have been told that I am a bit difficult to live with. I’ve got references and everything!

1. What kind of dryer sheets do you use?

2. How many times a week do you eat out/order in? If you mean how often do I prepare my own food, the answer is nil. My hot housekeeper cooks a mean lasagna.

3. What did you do the night of your high school graduation? I got drunk and got laid. Is this a trick question? Isn’t that what everyone does on that night? I think it’s a law or something. I vaguely remember my date asking me if I’d love her forever. And you gotta say yes if you are going to get naked. I wonder what the fuck her name was?

4. So Octomom is rumored to have been offered a million bucks to do a porno. Would you do it for a million? I’d do it for $200. But that’s just me. The twins are still selling our DVDs on your way out of this meme. You will write me about my fine acting, won’t you?

5. If your child was born with an extra finger or toe, would you have it surgically removed? I did a full and thorough investigation. Doctors remove them routinely if they are not functional. If they are functional, they are left on. It makes it hard to flip the bird, but these folks somehow pull through.

6. What was the last movie you saw? Deep Throat: The Next Generation. While it does not have the charm of the first, these women sure seem to have a good time. And the surprise ending is to die for! I’d give it 3 ½ peckers.

7. I wanna buy you a dozen roses, what color should they be? Make them red. That way I’ll remember at your divorce trial. I can see it now. I’ll say, “Really dude, she only sent me the red roses. But if I were going to do somebody’s wife it would be yours. She’s sexy and funny and has great ta-tas. I mean, so I’ve been told…”

8. You are walking across the street, you are not quite half way when a speeding car comes… you have to run to get out of its way, which direction do you run? I’d run toward the car. That would show the fucker!

9. Tell us about a time when you were invited over somewhere and had the most awful time. Berleen, this is almost a good question. What if they read my blog? I’d explain I had to tell the blogosphere because it was a meme question? OK, at my divorces. I was clearly invited, but they sucked. Now after the ceremony, that’s a great party. There is nothing like getting rid of your spouse to lift your spirits!

10. You open your front door and there is a box with a puppy in it… what do you do? I’d move it to your house. I figure, your question, your puppy. I only do pictures of pets. Never the real article. Plus, it would be better for the dog. I have been told that I am a bit difficult to live with. I’ve got references and everything!

1. What kind of dryer sheets do you use?

2. How many times a week do you eat out/order in? If you mean how often do I prepare my own food, the answer is nil. My hot housekeeper cooks a mean lasagna.

3. What did you do the night of your high school graduation? I got drunk and got laid. Is this a trick question? Isn’t that what everyone does on that night? I think it’s a law or something. I vaguely remember my date asking me if I’d love her forever. And you gotta say yes if you are going to get naked. I wonder what the fuck her name was?

4. So Octomom is rumored to have been offered a million bucks to do a porno. Would you do it for a million? I’d do it for $200. But that’s just me. The twins are still selling our DVDs on your way out of this meme. You will write me about my fine acting, won’t you?

5. If your child was born with an extra finger or toe, would you have it surgically removed? I did a full and thorough investigation. Doctors remove them routinely if they are not functional. If they are functional, they are left on. It makes it hard to flip the bird, but these folks somehow pull through.

6. What was the last movie you saw? Deep Throat: The Next Generation. While it does not have the charm of the first, these women sure seem to have a good time. And the surprise ending is to die for! I’d give it 3 ½ peckers.

7. I wanna buy you a dozen roses, what color should they be? Make them red. That way I’ll remember at your divorce trial. I can see it now. I’ll say, “Really dude, she only sent me the red roses. But if I were going to do somebody’s wife it would be yours. She’s sexy and funny and has great ta-tas. I mean, so I’ve been told…”

8. You are walking across the street, you are not quite half way when a speeding car comes… you have to run to get out of its way, which direction do you run? I’d run toward the car. That would show the fucker!

9. Tell us about a time when you were invited over somewhere and had the most awful time. Berleen, this is almost a good question. What if they read my blog? I’d explain I had to tell the blogosphere because it was a meme question? OK, at my divorces. I was clearly invited, but they sucked. Now after the ceremony, that’s a great party. There is nothing like getting rid of your spouse to lift your spirits!

10. You open your front door and there is a box with a puppy in it… what do you do? I’d move it to your house. I figure, your question, your puppy. I only do pictures of pets. Never the real article. Plus, it would be better for the dog. I have been told that I am a bit difficult to live with. I’ve got references and everything!