WTIT: The Blog

1. What is the last “white” lie that you told? I told my date that her thimble collection was fascinating. It was on the wall on her stairs. We were on the way to her bedroom. I would have told her the phone book was fascinating if it kept us moving toward the bedroom.

2. Can you forgive a liar? I think you have to. I mean, everyone lies. It is a good thing that nobody listens.

3. Do you tend to exaggerate or underestimate? I would say that I tend to embellish. Most stories of our meaningless existence tend to be boring. So if I were to write, “Last night I spent some time with my neighbor’s wife”, it would be not a great tale. I mean you know I’ve been boinking her for a couple of years. But if I added that the French twins joined us, the embellishment makes the story a damn bit more interesting.

4. Do you hold a grudge? Only with my neighbor. I mean at this point, he’s caught me with his wife enough to know that it’s not all my fault. Of course, her yelling each time “I thought it was you Hubby!” tends to put the focus on me. Man, can that asshole yell.

5. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told? I’d have to say it is “I’ll love you forever”. I mean between marriages and relationships, I’ve been with hundreds of women. Yet I still live alone. Of course, learning that nothing is forever is something that age and experience brings.

6. Are there times that you feel that it is okay to lie? Yes, if it gets you laid. I’ve heard that “there are no lies in love or war” or something like that.

7. Did you ever end a relationship because of lies? Oh yes. Not her lies, but mine are whoppers. I always say, “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.” I mean why would a woman not believe me over her own eyes? Some women, geez.

8. Do you think you can tell when someone is lying to you? I don’t pay enough attention to what anybody says. I generally assume that people are lying. I am seldom wrong.

9. Have you been caught lying? When women start throwing vases (or in one case thimbles) at you, you gotta know you’ve been caught. The talent is in ducking from the objects while you think up a big enough lie to cover up the one you got caught with. As you can tell, I’m very gifted in this way.

1. What is the last “white” lie that you told? I told my date that her thimble collection was fascinating. It was on the wall on her stairs. We were on the way to her bedroom. I would have told her the phone book was fascinating if it kept us moving toward the bedroom.

2. Can you forgive a liar? I think you have to. I mean, everyone lies. It is a good thing that nobody listens.

3. Do you tend to exaggerate or underestimate? I would say that I tend to embellish. Most stories of our meaningless existence tend to be boring. So if I were to write, “Last night I spent some time with my neighbor’s wife”, it would be not a great tale. I mean you know I’ve been boinking her for a couple of years. But if I added that the French twins joined us, the embellishment makes the story a damn bit more interesting.

4. Do you hold a grudge? Only with my neighbor. I mean at this point, he’s caught me with his wife enough to know that it’s not all my fault. Of course, her yelling each time “I thought it was you Hubby!” tends to put the focus on me. Man, can that asshole yell.

5. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told? I’d have to say it is “I’ll love you forever”. I mean between marriages and relationships, I’ve been with hundreds of women. Yet I still live alone. Of course, learning that nothing is forever is something that age and experience brings.

6. Are there times that you feel that it is okay to lie? Yes, if it gets you laid. I’ve heard that “there are no lies in love or war” or something like that.

7. Did you ever end a relationship because of lies? Oh yes. Not her lies, but mine are whoppers. I always say, “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.” I mean why would a woman not believe me over her own eyes? Some women, geez.

8. Do you think you can tell when someone is lying to you? I don’t pay enough attention to what anybody says. I generally assume that people are lying. I am seldom wrong.

9. Have you been caught lying? When women start throwing vases (or in one case thimbles) at you, you gotta know you’ve been caught. The talent is in ducking from the objects while you think up a big enough lie to cover up the one you got caught with. As you can tell, I’m very gifted in this way.