Every Saturday WTIT: The Blog brings you a meme called Saturday 9. It’s not to say that this is a bright idea, but it is what we do. A woman named Crazy Sam started this meme because a prior popular Saturday meme specialist Lola had retired. So, Sam contacted all Lola’s participants and invited us to participate in her meme. The biggest difference is that Sam enjoys our participation. All of Sam’s questions and writing are in bold.
1. Does the holiday season stress you out? If yes, how do you cope? Your fucking with me, right? “And on the final day, God said ‘Let there be Smirnoff for mankind to cope with and soeth I bless it.’” Who argues with God?
2. Are you ever so busy in December that you have to force yourself to chill? What? You want to know wait sedatives I take? Find your own Canadian pharmacy. Geez.
3. Do you sleep well at this time of year? As always, it depends on who I’m with. Last Friday a woman snored so loudly that my shingles got loose. Other than that it was a great night. I thought the picture that she showed me that she took with Santa was very sweet. She does know there are no more sleepovers!
4. Have you ever taken a sleigh ride? If yes, tell us about it. Yes. Tell you about it? There was a sleigh. And a horse. More? Okay: First we were dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh. We went over the fields we go, laughing all the way. Bells on bob-tail ring, making spirits bright and what fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight. Then we passed the Rumplemintz.
5. Do you live close to the parts of your family you spend the holidays with? I have no idea how to answer this fucker. I live close to my sister’s, where we gather, My folks live within a mile of her house. But my kids (that will be here) and brother travel in from Boston and Jersey. My younger kids, James and Jules, live in California. But they’ll be in my heart.
7. Do you diet after the holidays? How rude. You talkin’ to me Sam? You think I need to diet? Huh? Huh? Fuck this. I have to work BOTH today and tomorrow keep Massachusetts safe from sobriety, so DO NOT start with me Ms. Winters…
8. What’s the best part of the season for you? Your endless Saturday 9 Christmas memes. I can’t wait till next week when you hit the trifecta. Flash! Coming next Saturday: Sam asks us how our fucking Christmas was! I can’t wait. I need a drink. I better wait till after work. It’s only 7 AM. Perhaps then… a Smirnoff.
9. How many generations of your family get together during the holidays? Four. My folks, my siblings and I, my children and my brother’s kids and my perfect grandchildren will celebrate. My grandchildren will be the only ones sober.