Either you have used sites like Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them. Weekly, The WTIT Blog scours those on-line dating sites. We respond to either a line in a lady’s profile or her headline on her dating site, as most of us would really like to do. Please understand that we are not responding seriously or mean spiritedly. This a a comedy feature. The spelling or grammar errors were in the original profiles. The profile statements are in bold. Let the stupidity begin!!
My religion is earth-based. So you worship dirt. Calling Pig Pen!
The wind in my sails still blows. I am thinking that you misunderstood what I meant.
GOLF! I love most everything about it, and yes including even the bad shots. “GOLF DOESN’T BUILD CHARACTER, IT REVEALS IT!” I am LOOKING for a Golf BUDDY! Could you be the one? I love to travel, play different courses, play for fun and play in some Capt.Choice tourneys. Well, then. First a riddle: What has 20 holes, 1 ball, 2 breasts and is complete whacko? Oh. You’ve already heard this one. I’m not surprised.
I want a man who can make me laugh and show me a good time like just walking down the street with an ice cream cone. The only shot here is if it’s a pretty fucking funny ice cream stand.
Ms. Pac-man looking for Mr. Pac-man. For chrissakes, u
sing a simile from a thirty year old video game. And lady, don’t they just eat each other? Oops, my bad. Sounds like fun!
I am looking for someone that has some qualities. Wow. There narrows down the field. Next!
Live each day as if it was your last because you never know if tomorrow will come. Gee, thanks lady. Now I’m just depressed.
I don’t like fishing, hunting, any sports, shooting pool or throwing darts, drinking, movies, TV, camping, or Nascar. I hope I’ve piqued your interest. Why am I shocked she is alone? Calling all morons! We got a live one here!
I’ve been told that I’m easy on the eyes and great to talk to. I can’t speak on the second point, but they have lied to you about the first.
I’m crazy about Nascar, Harleys, football, drag racing, blues, country, oldies and Motown. If only you were a lesbian. Would I have a match for you!
I CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH and that’s all I’ll ever ask of you… Great. You’re fat and ugly. That’s $250 for this therapy session.
I will keep you laughing and VERY content, if you know what I mean. Yes I do. You are a slut who does stand-up.
I would like to find an attractive man wh
o is emotionally available, drama-free, physically healthy, clean, sober, independent, and who likes to have a good time and be sincere about what he really wants. BWAHAHAHA. And I want to win Powerball.
This feature was inspired by Mimi Lenox’s Dating Profile of the Day. Used with permission.
I never got past laughing at the earth-based religion. Bwahahahaha. I would love to hear more about that. Hand her the Prozac please. Have a great day Bud. 🙂
The woman chants Zen mantras, has large ear rings and can ‘fel aurars’.
And will fall for anything.
Go for it, I say.
Sandee-
Grab the Prozac on your way out. Thank you for flying WTIT Airlines.
CBI-
You have a valid point…
“I would like to find an attractive man who is emotionally available, drama-free, physically healthy, clean, sober, independent, and who likes to have a good time and be sincere about what he really wants.
Ahh if only Tony Micelli didn’t marry Angela on “Who’s the Boss”.
Jodi-
You are SO right. He would be perfect… !!
Pac-Man eats little pellets…reminds me of a rabbit or something.
Any woman that does not like fishing, hunting, any sports, shooting pool or throwing darts, drinking, movies, TV, camping, or Nascar…should just give up!
Shannon-
Seriously she should kill herself…
😉
weiseass –
holy hell this one wuz a riot! 🙂
But actually if you think about it, Pacman mostly eats balls… umm that may not be such a good thing, or maybe it is…
Woohoo to the Phillies, i hate baseball but I do have an obvious affinity to any sport in Philly. In case you were wondering about this bit of info.
I hope Sandee didn’t take all the Prozac when she left. Do you have more?
Maybe I’ll just have a Godiva.
Or two.
“I don’t like fishing, hunting, any sports, shooting pool or throwing darts, drinking, movies, TV, camping, or Nascar. I hope I’ve piqued your interest.”
I’m surprised sex wasn’t in the list too.
Good stuff Bud! LOL
Rough-
Than that’s a big OUCH…
Mimi-
The Godiva is next to the Prozac…
Kimber-
Ha. Sex would have been perfect! Thanks…
Women don’t write these kinds of ads to other women.
But, and this is a big one, there are only 12 in any given city and they’ve all already dated each other and know what big fat liars the others are when they read the ad.
Lori-
That’s a riot. I spoke to my friend Harvey last night and said EVERY woman writes that you gotta make her laugh. I don’t know if they are looking for love or stand-up…
hey – pigpen is mmy idol!
Bud – why do I think you should send this chick over to f-tard…
I would like some qualities, too, but I think I would be more particular in saying what those qualities, too!
Debbie-
They would deserve each other…
Linda-
You would think!
Isn’t wind in your sails a euphimism for gas?
Starr-
I believe that you are correct…
So if wind in your sails mean she has gas…and Harvey has a match…well…ya know…a match gets rid of the smell of gas or lights your a** on fire…
Did I spoil the post?
Vinny-
You’d have to ask Harvey… But, you make a great point.
Never ceases to amaze me what some people think is charming or witty. I mean, they can’t be serious, right??????
Allison, I think they are very serious. Mores the pity…
Gee, thanks lady. Now I’m just depressed.
Now THAT was funny 😀
Dawn-
No wonder I can’t meet an interesting and vibrant lady!