Eyes Wide Shut

Posted by Bud Weiser on October 26, 2008
Posted in: sunday stealing. 42 Comments

Welcome again to Stealing which we bring you weekly on The WTIT Blog. We have gotten really good at just stealing a meme from someone else’s post. (You can play this meme with Judd and click on the official Sunday Stealing meme.) Today we ripped this meme off from a blogger named AnyHow at AnyHow Blogs. The Queen of Memes, Mimi Lenox discovered its 100 or so questions and was kind enough to edit it to 30 and steal it and pass it along. AnyHow is a bit vague as to its origins, other than to say he was tagged by his cousin to do it. We never wanted to trace back these thefts. Usually, what we steal is stolen as well. We have this attitude because we believe we are just smarter by calling our theft “A Feature”. All meme questions are in bold.

Cheers to all us thieves!

1. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain? Do I look like Judy fucking Garland? How can someone not believe in a rainbow? That would be like not believing in air.
2. If you have a dream come true, what would it be? I have a crush on one of my readers. We have never met. I feel the connection. Really.
3. Do you believe in eternity love? No. I believe in eternity lust. I’m guessing whoever wrote this sucker uses English as a second language. Or maybe third…
4. What feeling do you love most? I just realized it must be how I feel about my blog. Otherwise, why would I respond to memes that are this totally fucked up? Seriously, I’ll go my feelings about rock ‘n roll here. Last night I was listening to Cobra Starship for some reason.
5. What feeling do you hate the most? Feeling outrage over Sarah Palin’s wardrobe. I just looked at how much money I lost this year in my 401K and they spent a couple hundred thousand dollars to dress Barbie up. I should save the outrage for just Bush & McCain.6. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours? Cherish is the word I use to describe all the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside. You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I had told you. You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I could hold you. Oops. Lost in a moment. How do you say no to this question? “I fucking hate my friends.”

7. Do you believe in God? That is not relevant. The question is, “Does God believe in WTIT?” Ah, there’s the rub.
8. Who cares for you most? I am hoping it might be the reader I mentioned that I have a crush on from question 2. Although, alas, she hasn’t a clue how I feel.
9. What do you think is the most important thing in your life? I still don’t think you can beat the French twins. Last night they said the funniest thing while we were… Wait. You had to be there.
10. What emotion do you like to show? Not a one, thank you. I believe a man of my education, charm and wit should keep everyone guessing. A poker face of sorts…
11. If you have something troubling you, what do you do? I call Jill Hennessy. Not that she ever picks up. She’s outta work and is with her husband 24/7. Did you know she has a twin? I just found out. No WONDER why I like her so much.
12. Who do you admire most? John Lennon.

Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today…

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world…

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

13. Who did you last chat with in a chat room? Your naked mother. What a fucking mouth on her!
14. What kind of person do you think the one we stole this meme from is? I don’t know. But I think the chick in the pic with him is hot.
15. What color did you use to dye your hair? Purple. I was going through a “people eater” stage. I was 12.
16. Why are you doing this meme? For the groupies. Don’t you ever pay attention? If it weren’t for groupies, I could only have sex with the French twins, my hot housekeeper and my neighbor’s wife. What a dull life that would be.
17. What do you do when you’re moody? Tell meme writers to fuck off. Fuck off.

18. At which age do you wish to or did you, get married? Which time? The first time I think I was 13. When I saw her wedding dress I should have gotten a clue of the trouble that I was in.

19. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do? I’ll pay some hookers to come over with drugs. I would go out with a bang, so-to-speak.
20. Who is the person you trust the most? I trust no one. I am seldom disappointed.
21. Last time you smiled? 1999.
22. What are you listening to right now? John Fogarty’s latest album. It is called Revival. It is a complete nod to his old band CCR. He finally got the rights to all those Creedence songs back. The record company ripped him off in the seventies. It took this long for him to prevail.
23. Who was the last person you saw in your dream? Sarah Palin. She didn’t believe me when I told her the Vice President does not run the Senate. Then she responded, “Let’s have sex then.” Hey, it was my dream. I can dream about anything I want.
24. Are you talking to someone while doing this? Nope. I am now listening to James Blunt. I know that isn’t part of this question, but this meme is SO fucking stupid I am trying just to stay awake. This meme writer could not ask a stupider question.
25. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed? WTF? I was SO fucking wrong. This is not only the stupidest question of this meme, but also perhaps the stupidest of all time. Somebody call fucking Ripley’s.
26. Is there a quote you live by? Lots. Today I’ll use, “Virtue is its own punishment.”

27. Do you want someone you cannot have? The reader in question 2. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, can you pay attention? I am memeing here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

28. Who always makes you laugh? My best friend and fellow WTIT DJ Harvey Wallbanger. If you don’t believe me, read his comments on Friday’s Dating Profiles of the Week.
29. What was the worst idea you’ve had this week? Asking a woman I met whether she spit out or swallowed. Hey, I know I was a fucking idiot. But you do ten shots of Cuervo and then meet someone. She said, “Are you fucking kidding me?” I was at least coherent enough to slur “Yes, it was a joke.” So she laughed. Boy was I lucky. Oh, and we have a date on Friday.
30. Do you speak another language other than English? No. But I would testify in court that you must. “Do I walk with my eyes closed?” Whatever language you translated that from must be a beauty.
We will return to write another comedy gem.
Some time or another.
We will even try to be funny.

Funny comedy: What a concept!

After today we hope you will still return to
The WTIT Blog. Happy Sunday!
We will return.
Join us. Same time. Same blog.

42 comments on “Eyes Wide Shut”

  1. I now have the song “Cherish” stuck in my head and I actually detest that song. Really. I do.

    You definitely brought your poker face for this one!

    Reply

  6. As soon as I saw the walking with your eyes open or closed question – YOU are the first person I thought of. I said to myself – Bud is going to have a field day with that one. LOL! That truly IS the stupidest question I have ever heard.

    Awesome answer to who you admire most. He was and still is a legend.

    LOL @ what you said about the meme writer’s friend. Hopefully she can see past his open or closed eyes question.

    Happy Sunday!

    Reply

  9. OK. You are right. You know why I’m cranky but still….I need humoring. K?
    (just pretend. It’s a game… You’ll love it!!) and I’ll never mention the woods again. EVER.

    Reply

  19. You really need to curb the laughing spillage.

    I had a dream about Sarah Palin this week too!! (Seriously.)

    We were in Alaska (duh) and there was an infinite amount of water and we totally could not see Russia.

    I’ve actually had this dream before, so I think I predicted Sarah Palin.

    Reply

  27. Awww, how cute you are with your blogger crush! Lucky girl.

    Loved #29. Still giggling over that one.

    Reply

  31. Bud, you and Mimi are awesomely wicked with memes. You crack me up!

    And why is it important to know whether a woman spits or swallows? Isn’t it enough to know she “eats”? 😉

    Reply

  32. 19 I agree with you on…
    And 20. Odd those two should have been side by side.

    I actually did used to dye my haie a copper burgundy colour which made it look kind of purple in some lights…

    Reply

  39. What is it about you and Sarah Palin? She’s old enough to be the mother of most of the girls you seem to lust for. Is it her political power? Or the fact that she can truss a moose?

    Reply

  42. Gal-
    I hate Sarah Palin. But I find the whole routine with her very funny. As far as my “lusting”, that is a bit of schtick. If I were as bad as I potry, I wouldn’t have 99% female readers. That is the truth and nothing but…

    Reply

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