It Will Be a Tasteful Funeral

When I am not the grand wizard of WTIT, I sell liquor. An honorable job. One of the things a liquor salesperson does is introduce new products. We also introduced “new packages” and such. Today I found out it was my turn to show customers the relatively new Johnnie Walker Blue 1.75ML bottle that comes in a leather case. The sucker looked big and heavy. I received it towards the end of my day, so I brought it with me to my last sales call of the day. Now I have had about seven back operations so I am always careful carrying things. This bottle in the leather case wasn’t really as heavy as I thought; it was just slightly awkward to carry. (Only awkward because it was not until after my sales call I discover the box had a handle.)

Perhaps you are wondering, why in the world would a bottle of liquor come in a leather case? It would be a good question. The answer is that this bottle retails for over $450. While I was showing it to my customer I pondered (to myself) that if someone regularly drank Blue, besides the product being expensive, that “someone” would own a lot of leather cases. The reality, of course, is that Johnnie Walker Blue is one of the finest scotches in the world and you would save it for just important occasions. “Ground Hog’s Day” or my birthday come to mind.

At this particular store I seldom see the buyer alone. Our sales person who specializes in wine was there along with a salesperson from another company that sells wine. I am showing the case and bottle to my customer and I asked what he might think one would use the leather case for after the bottle was “finished”. Before he could answer, the wine salespersons chimes in, “Bud, it looks just like a coffin.” Great. Here I am trying to sell a bottle of liquor that costs almost double that of an entire case of Johnnie Walker Black, and now it is a “coffin”. I don’t think Diageo (who supplies wholesalers) thought “coffin” when they sent me out with the product.

The buyer thought it would be great for burying his cat in when it died. Now, I feel as though I am the one who is dying, but fortunately, it is not big enough for me. All’s well that ends well. He bought a bottle. I just really hope his cat is very healthy.

That is the truth for your

Hump Day on the WTIT Blog.

FYI, The picture above is not

with the leather case.

This picture is just of the normal

bottle and cardboard case.

The leather case is actually very

impressive and not at all coffin-like.

Parts of this post appeared on July 25, 2006.

Th-th-th-th-That’s all folks. You can hit “next blog” now.

13 comments on “It Will Be a Tasteful Funeral”

$450? Good thing you didn’t drop it!
At least your customer had a sense of humor 🙂

Now that’s some expensive booze. I really don’t think you will ever be able to look at that case without thinking coffin. Just saying. Have a great day Bud. 🙂

Can’t they make a girly pink one? For $450 they can have the case double as a purse once the booze is done. Just an idea. LOL

Dawn-
That really would have been bad!

Sandee-
That is 100% true!

Too expensive for me. Is there really anything wrong with the cheap stuff?

Shannon-
Not a thing! I don’t drink scotch but people who do tell me they like the less expensive Johnnie Walker Green better…

So uh………..like…..what are the chances you could set us all up?

The coffin case is a plus as far as I am concerned. Old school goth girl ya know 😛

I’ll bet it’s goooooooood. But burying the cat in the leather case? That’s just wrong.

Travis-
I’ve had itm but I don’t drink scotch so it was wasted pn me…other than it was smooth…

If there was an Irish whiskey equivalent–well nuff said. But then Lola would turn the leather bag into a marble case for she’d tell me that at least she’d have a place to store the marbles I must have lost for buying it in the first place.

Mmmmm, Jameson Irish Blue. Don’t mind my drooling at the thought.