Don’t you just love radio commercials that tell you how easy it is to become rich? On my way home today I heard the best one. It began,
“Do you know the difference between a millionaire and someone who wants to be a millionaire like you?”
Wow! You got to believe whatever the next line is will be both enlightening and inspirational. The next line,
“They wanted it more than you and went out and did it.”
Oh, that makes sense. I just need to want to be a millionaire more. I’ll put up an alter in my living room. A pile of money will be placed on the alter and pictures of Bill Gates and Donald Trump will hang over this pious place. No one will ever doubt that I want to be a millionaire.
Obviously these types of commercials work. I also enjoy the commercials that tell us,
“So-and-so made a fortune in real estate, with no money down! And so can you!”
Doesn’t it make you want to shout, “If he’s doing so well, why does he need to sell these books?” Also, if they all have a “secret plan”, why would they share it? I know. They got tired of becoming rich using their “secrets” to buy and sell real estate. Now, for just $19.95 plus shipping and handling, you can take the rich person’s place. This is almost a good idea and it almost makes sense. Check that. It is perfect nonsense.
About twenty years ago WTIT recorded a spoof of “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Johnnie Walker played the Jimmy Stewart character. We called it “It’s a Shitty Life.” Whereas all goes wrong for Jimmy in the actual film, with our version everything goes right. Jimmy and his wife win the Powerball jackpot nearly every week. At one point the Lottery Agent (B.B. Bacardi) welcoming Jimmy back yet again asks, “That’s ten weeks in a row. How do you do it?” Johnnie pauses and then adlibs, “I’ve been watching that cable show on late night TV. You just follow the steps and you win!” And of course in our twist we proved money isn’t everything. The even funnier adlib Johnnie did was when his character comes home to hear a thumping from his bedroom. He was suppose to go unpstairs and find his wife in bed with another woman. This is the point where he is suppose to realize all his money can’t buy him love. The thumping was a “pogo stick” sound from a sound effect record. Just before I could shut the volume down it switched to a fife and drum corps. Without missing a beat Johnnie yells, “And honey, who are these guys?” I was playing the wife and started, “Meet Carlos and Henry and…” So much for fun with money. But it was easy for Johnnie. He just wanted to be a millionaire more than either I or you do.
