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All posts for the month May, 2008

Jumping Out of Planes

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on May 31, 2008
Posted in: sunday stealing. 4 Comments

Welcome again to Stealing which we bring you weekly on The WTIT Blog. We have gotten really good at just stealing a meme from someone else’s post. Today the meme is part is ripped off from a lady named Nanao from Germany and a blog called Satoshi Sho. Usually we have no idea where she got it from. However, this week we stole from a lady who actually wrote the meme. We thought, “wow, who does that?” So we got almost a virgin meme. We usually don’t go back to the credit previous thefts anyway. Too much effort, and really who cares? Usually, what we steal is stolen as well. We have this attitude because we believe we are just smarter by calling our theft “A Feature”. All meme questions are in bold. A nice touch is that every week some of you rip it off from me. Please continue to do so.

Cheers to all us THIEVES!!

A Virgin Meme:
1. coffee or tea? God, great fucking choices. But it does remind me of something Vinny Bond reminded me of…Remember when an airline used the slogan, “Coffee, tea or me?” Longer ago than last year, I believe.
2. lights on or lights off? On. You never want to forget whom you are with. Don’t you hate it when you forget? There is a person naked next to you and you are sure they have a name.
3. sea or lake? Lake. When my older kids were young we took them to Lake George a lot. I have found memories of knowing all the answers and knowing I was where I should be.

4. black or white? In people, it could not be less relevant. In clothes, black.

5. Book or movie? Usually the movie. The Debbie Does Dallas book is not nearly as interesting.

6. sneakers or heels? When you wrote this meme you shoulda said “ladies and transvestites only” for this winning question.

7. perfume or cologne? Neither on me. I did learn long ago scents tend to be loved or hated. Staying out of that game is a better bet. And what is up with celebrity perfume? Why would someone think, “I wanna smell like Paris Hilton?” I wanna hurl.
8. spring or autumn? There is nothing quite like autumn in New England. That said, it is still depressing. It signals that winter is coming and I am not a fan of freezing my ass.
9. Rain or shine? I’m on the road a lot. We’ll go with shine. And I find nothing wrong that “When the sun shines they slip into the shade a drink their lemonade.” Sorry, John.
10. AM or PM? There is an AM? I must have slept through it again.
11. sing or dance? I think yesterday’s post answers this gem. I dance well. Singing not so much.
12. sky or sea? I am really wondering what the German chick that wrote this mother was thinking about. Question 3 was “sea or lake” and made sense. But “sea or sky”? Would I perfer to swim or sky jump? Who is ever asked that? Hey, Nick. Should we go swimming or jump out of a fucking airplane today?
13. dog or cat? Gotta go with dog since I have a virtual pet dog. Neither of these animals is living with me. But photos of them are touching. Dawn show the nicest pictures of cats, BTW.
14. cake or ice cream? “Let them eat cake.” Marie said that after they ran out of bread around 1750. And Marie Antoinette probably wasn’t the author of the phrase at all. I point this out because I seem to not be very funny today. So I figure if I throw in some great education type shit, readers will quip, “He fucked up that meme. But I learned a lot. Like when did Dawn start posting pussy photos?”
15. at home or somewhere else? Right now I am home. But I will leave when the phone rings. I am waiting for my best offer.

16. sweet or spicy? I like my women sweet and my food spicy. Or is it the other way around? More caffeine. This meme is not a great “waker-upper”.

17. short or long hair? On women long. Short hair on women never worked for me. And no I do not like middle aged women with hair down to their wastes. But crew cuts don’t cut it.

18. bunk bed above or below? I am too old for this shit. If those were my choices I’d leave.
19. backpack or handbag? This question does not slightly make sense. I think I like “sky or sea” better. There were drugs involved when she wrote this.
20. cellphone or ipod? Again, huh? If my car breaks down, my iPod really would come in handy.

This is the first time we responded to a
meme that was an original.
We won’t make the mistake again.
We will return to the WTIT Blog.
We hope you do, too.
No memes, we swear.
Be nice to somebody.
Peace! From our Tape Radio Studio.
Happy June. Put up your Peace Globe!

Jumping Out of Planes

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on May 31, 2008
Posted in: sunday stealing. 4 Comments

Welcome again to Stealing which we bring you weekly on The WTIT Blog. We have gotten really good at just stealing a meme from someone else’s post. Today the meme is part is ripped off from a lady named Nanao from Germany and a blog called Satoshi Sho. Usually we have no idea where she got it from. However, this week we stole from a lady who actually wrote the meme. We thought, “wow, who does that?” So we got almost a virgin meme. We usually don’t go back to the credit previous thefts anyway. Too much effort, and really who cares? Usually, what we steal is stolen as well. We have this attitude because we believe we are just smarter by calling our theft “A Feature”. All meme questions are in bold. A nice touch is that every week some of you rip it off from me. Please continue to do so.

Cheers to all us THIEVES!!

A Virgin Meme:
1. coffee or tea? God, great fucking choices. But it does remind me of something Vinny Bond reminded me of…Remember when an airline used the slogan, “Coffee, tea or me?” Longer ago than last year, I believe.
2. lights on or lights off? On. You never want to forget whom you are with. Don’t you hate it when you forget? There is a person naked next to you and you are sure they have a name.
3. sea or lake? Lake. When my older kids were young we took them to Lake George a lot. I have found memories of knowing all the answers and knowing I was where I should be.

4. black or white? In people, it could not be less relevant. In clothes, black.

5. Book or movie? Usually the movie. The Debbie Does Dallas book is not nearly as interesting.

6. sneakers or heels? When you wrote this meme you shoulda said “ladies and transvestites only” for this winning question.

7. perfume or cologne? Neither on me. I did learn long ago scents tend to be loved or hated. Staying out of that game is a better bet. And what is up with celebrity perfume? Why would someone think, “I wanna smell like Paris Hilton?” I wanna hurl.
8. spring or autumn? There is nothing quite like autumn in New England. That said, it is still depressing. It signals that winter is coming and I am not a fan of freezing my ass.
9. Rain or shine? I’m on the road a lot. We’ll go with shine. And I find nothing wrong that “When the sun shines they slip into the shade a drink their lemonade.” Sorry, John.
10. AM or PM? There is an AM? I must have slept through it again.
11. sing or dance? I think yesterday’s post answers this gem. I dance well. Singing not so much.
12. sky or sea? I am really wondering what the German chick that wrote this mother was thinking about. Question 3 was “sea or lake” and made sense. But “sea or sky”? Would I perfer to swim or sky jump? Who is ever asked that? Hey, Nick. Should we go swimming or jump out of a fucking airplane today?
13. dog or cat? Gotta go with dog since I have a virtual pet dog. Neither of these animals is living with me. But photos of them are touching. Dawn show the nicest pictures of cats, BTW.
14. cake or ice cream? “Let them eat cake.” Marie said that after they ran out of bread around 1750. And Marie Antoinette probably wasn’t the author of the phrase at all. I point this out because I seem to not be very funny today. So I figure if I throw in some great education type shit, readers will quip, “He fucked up that meme. But I learned a lot. Like when did Dawn start posting pussy photos?”
15. at home or somewhere else? Right now I am home. But I will leave when the phone rings. I am waiting for my best offer.

16. sweet or spicy? I like my women sweet and my food spicy. Or is it the other way around? More caffeine. This meme is not a great “waker-upper”.

17. short or long hair? On women long. Short hair on women never worked for me. And no I do not like middle aged women with hair down to their wastes. But crew cuts don’t cut it.

18. bunk bed above or below? I am too old for this shit. If those were my choices I’d leave.
19. backpack or handbag? This question does not slightly make sense. I think I like “sky or sea” better. There were drugs involved when she wrote this.
20. cellphone or ipod? Again, huh? If my car breaks down, my iPod really would come in handy.

This is the first time we responded to a
meme that was an original.
We won’t make the mistake again.
We will return to the WTIT Blog.
We hope you do, too.
No memes, we swear.
Be nice to somebody.
Peace! From our Tape Radio Studio.
Happy June. Put up your Peace Globe!

I Couldn’t Sing ‘Happy Birthday’

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on May 31, 2008
Posted in: Saturday 9. 13 Comments

Every Saturday WTIT: The Blog brings you a meme called Saturday 9. It’s not to say that this is a bright idea, but it is what we do. A woman named Crazy Sam started this meme because our prior popular Saturday meme specialist Lola had unofficially retired. Her finally post was on February 16, 2008. It garnered no comments. R.I.P. So, Sam contacted all Lola’s participants and invited us to participate in her meme. We are not sure why she included us, but she did. And we are glad she did. All of Sam’s questions and writing are in bold.

1. Can you sing the fight song? I guessing you’ve never heard me sing. I can’t sing happy birthday.

2. Who was your favorite teacher? The librarian hands down. If you timed it right, after she had her lunchtime nips, she was a heck of a lot of fun. At least until we tried to cut out the middleman and decided to give her nips in the morning. I don’t know why the principal finding her passed out and naked was such a big deal. At least I had dressed.

3. What was your school mascot? We were called the “Wheelchairs” which was suppose to be amusing. But the FDR Wheelchairs? And the mascot looked ridiculous pushing the dummy around. But I suppose our rival the JFK Bullets did not have it easy either.

4. Did you go to the Prom? Of course. I had to find out if the old adage about how fast you can get a girl out of the prom dress was true. It wasn’t. Not that she didn’t want out, but those things have buttons and zippers everywhere. But I was never one to shy away from a challenge.

5. If you could go back, would you? To live it again? I suppose maybe to a party or two, but not school. Yuk.

6. What do you remember most about graduation? The sheer joy that it was over. But it was sad to say goodbye to Miss Shell, our librarian. That was her last year there. She passed out during Pomp and Circumstance.

7. Where were you on Senior Skip Day? We took our girlfriends to the beach and drank Colt 45. I knew we had sunk to a new low when WTIT DJ Ken Kolt asked to no one in particular if anyone had ever heard a girl fart. While the guys were laughing for some reason the dates were not amused. Until Sheila passed gas as if on cue. Then we laughed our asses off and switched to Cuervo Tequila shots.

8. Did you have a job your senior year? Besides being a WTIT DJ? Are you kidding? I had a lot of responsibility. Planning parties, finding certain guys dates. You would be amazed how hard it is to fix up guys who tell fart jokes.

9. Where did you go most often for lunch? Sam, repeating an idea for a meme wore you out. We ate what was suppose to pass for lunch in the cafeteria. Maybe you should have just done eight questions today.

We hope that when we come back
that you will be here.
We will return here on
WTIT: The Tape Radio Blog.
But, you don’t have to pinky swear
to join us or anything like that.
(And we don’t take attendence.)
Same time. Same Blog. Goodnight, Sam.

I Couldn’t Sing ‘Happy Birthday’

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on May 31, 2008
Posted in: Saturday 9. 14 Comments

Every Saturday WTIT: The Blog brings you a meme called Saturday 9. It’s not to say that this is a bright idea, but it is what we do. A woman named Crazy Sam started this meme because our prior popular Saturday meme specialist Lola had unofficially retired. Her finally post was on February 16, 2008. It garnered no comments. R.I.P. So, Sam contacted all Lola’s participants and invited us to participate in her meme. We are not sure why she included us, but she did. And we are glad she did. All of Sam’s questions and writing are in bold.

1. Can you sing the fight song? I guessing you’ve never heard me sing. I can’t sing happy birthday.

2. Who was your favorite teacher? The librarian hands down. If you timed it right, after she had her lunchtime nips, she was a heck of a lot of fun. At least until we tried to cut out the middleman and decided to give her nips in the morning. I don’t know why the principal finding her passed out and naked was such a big deal. At least I had dressed.

3. What was your school mascot? We were called the “Wheelchairs” which was suppose to be amusing. But the FDR Wheelchairs? And the mascot looked ridiculous pushing the dummy around. But I suppose our rival the JFK Bullets did not have it easy either.

4. Did you go to the Prom? Of course. I had to find out if the old adage about how fast you can get a girl out of the prom dress was true. It wasn’t. Not that she didn’t want out, but those things have buttons and zippers everywhere. But I was never one to shy away from a challenge.

5. If you could go back, would you? To live it again? I suppose maybe to a party or two, but not school. Yuk.

6. What do you remember most about graduation? The sheer joy that it was over. But it was sad to say goodbye to Miss Shell, our librarian. That was her last year there. She passed out during Pomp and Circumstance.

7. Where were you on Senior Skip Day? We took our girlfriends to the beach and drank Colt 45. I knew we had sunk to a new low when WTIT DJ Ken Kolt asked to no one in particular if anyone had ever heard a girl fart. While the guys were laughing for some reason the dates were not amused. Until Sheila passed gas as if on cue. Then we laughed our asses off and switched to Cuervo Tequila shots.

8. Did you have a job your senior year? Besides being a WTIT DJ? Are you kidding? I had a lot of responsibility. Planning parties, finding certain guys dates. You would be amazed how hard it is to fix up guys who tell fart jokes.

9. Where did you go most often for lunch? Sam, repeating an idea for a meme wore you out. We ate what was suppose to pass for lunch in the cafeteria. Maybe you should have just done eight questions today.

We hope that when we come back
that you will be here.
We will return here on
WTIT: The Tape Radio Blog.
But, you don’t have to pinky swear
to join us or anything like that.
(And we don’t take attendence.)
Same time. Same Blog. Goodnight, Sam.

I Couldn’t Sing ‘Happy Birthday’

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on May 31, 2008
Posted in: Saturday 9. Leave a comment

Every Saturday WTIT: The Blog brings you a meme called Saturday 9. It’s not to say that this is a bright idea, but it is what we do. A woman named Crazy Sam started this meme because our prior popular Saturday meme specialist Lola had unofficially retired. Her finally post was on February 16, 2008. It garnered no comments. R.I.P. So, Sam contacted all Lola’s participants and invited us to participate in her meme. We are not sure why she included us, but she did. And we are glad she did. All of Sam’s questions and writing are in bold.

1. Can you sing the fight song? I guessing you’ve never heard me sing. I can’t sing happy birthday.

2. Who was your favorite teacher? The librarian hands down. If you timed it right, after she had her lunchtime nips, she was a heck of a lot of fun. At least until we tried to cut out the middleman and decided to give her nips in the morning. I don’t know why the principal finding her passed out and naked was such a big deal. At least I had dressed.

3. What was your school mascot? We were called the “Wheelchairs” which was suppose to be amusing. But the FDR Wheelchairs? And the mascot looked ridiculous pushing the dummy around. But I suppose our rival the JFK Bullets did not have it easy either.

4. Did you go to the Prom? Of course. I had to find out if the old adage about how fast you can get a girl out of the prom dress was true. It wasn’t. Not that she didn’t want out, but those things have buttons and zippers everywhere. But I was never one to shy away from a challenge.

5. If you could go back, would you? To live it again? I suppose maybe to a party or two, but not school. Yuk.

6. What do you remember most about graduation? The sheer joy that it was over. But it was sad to say goodbye to Miss Shell, our librarian. That was her last year there. She passed out during Pomp and Circumstance.

7. Where were you on Senior Skip Day? We took our girlfriends to the beach and drank Colt 45. I knew we had sunk to a new low when WTIT DJ Ken Kolt asked to no one in particular if anyone had ever heard a girl fart. While the guys were laughing for some reason the dates were not amused. Until Sheila passed gas as if on cue. Then we laughed our asses off and switched to Cuervo Tequila shots.

8. Did you have a job your senior year? Besides being a WTIT DJ? Are you kidding? I had a lot of responsibility. Planning parties, finding certain guys dates. You would be amazed how hard it is to fix up guys who tell fart jokes.

9. Where did you go most often for lunch? Sam, repeating an idea for a meme wore you out. We ate what was suppose to pass for lunch in the cafeteria. Maybe you should have just done eight questions today.

We hope that when we come back
that you will be here.
We will return here on
WTIT: The Tape Radio Blog.
But, you don’t have to pinky swear
to join us or anything like that.
(And we don’t take attendence.)
Same time. Same Blog. Goodnight, Sam.

I Couldn’t Sing ‘Happy Birthday’

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on May 31, 2008
Posted in: Saturday 9. 13 Comments

Every Saturday WTIT: The Blog brings you a meme called Saturday 9. It’s not to say that this is a bright idea, but it is what we do. A woman named Crazy Sam started this meme because our prior popular Saturday meme specialist Lola had unofficially retired. Her finally post was on February 16, 2008. It garnered no comments. R.I.P. So, Sam contacted all Lola’s participants and invited us to participate in her meme. We are not sure why she included us, but she did. And we are glad she did. All of Sam’s questions and writing are in bold.

1. Can you sing the fight song? I guessing you’ve never heard me sing. I can’t sing happy birthday.

2. Who was your favorite teacher? The librarian hands down. If you timed it right, after she had her lunchtime nips, she was a heck of a lot of fun. At least until we tried to cut out the middleman and decided to give her nips in the morning. I don’t know why the principal finding her passed out and naked was such a big deal. At least I had dressed.

3. What was your school mascot? We were called the “Wheelchairs” which was suppose to be amusing. But the FDR Wheelchairs? And the mascot looked ridiculous pushing the dummy around. But I suppose our rival the JFK Bullets did not have it easy either.

4. Did you go to the Prom? Of course. I had to find out if the old adage about how fast you can get a girl out of the prom dress was true. It wasn’t. Not that she didn’t want out, but those things have buttons and zippers everywhere. But I was never one to shy away from a challenge.

5. If you could go back, would you? To live it again? I suppose maybe to a party or two, but not school. Yuk.

6. What do you remember most about graduation? The sheer joy that it was over. But it was sad to say goodbye to Miss Shell, our librarian. That was her last year there. She passed out during Pomp and Circumstance.

7. Where were you on Senior Skip Day? We took our girlfriends to the beach and drank Colt 45. I knew we had sunk to a new low when WTIT DJ Ken Kolt asked to no one in particular if anyone had ever heard a girl fart. While the guys were laughing for some reason the dates were not amused. Until Sheila passed gas as if on cue. Then we laughed our asses off and switched to Cuervo Tequila shots.

8. Did you have a job your senior year? Besides being a WTIT DJ? Are you kidding? I had a lot of responsibility. Planning parties, finding certain guys dates. You would be amazed how hard it is to fix up guys who tell fart jokes.

9. Where did you go most often for lunch? Sam, repeating an idea for a meme wore you out. We ate what was suppose to pass for lunch in the cafeteria. Maybe you should have just done eight questions today.

We hope that when we come back
that you will be here.
We will return here on
WTIT: The Tape Radio Blog.
But, you don’t have to pinky swear
to join us or anything like that.
(And we don’t take attendence.)
Same time. Same Blog. Goodnight, Sam.

It’s More Exciting Than It Sounds

Posted by Bud Weiser, WTIT on May 30, 2008
Posted in: Dating Profiles. 6 Comments

Either you have used sites like Match.com or Yahoo Personals or you’ve read them. Weekly, The WTIT Blog scours those on-line dating sites. We respond to either a line in a lady’s profile or her headline on her dating site, as most of us would really like to do. Please understand that we are not responding seriously or mean spiritedly. This a comedy feature. The spelling or grammar errors were in the original profiles. The profile statements are in bold. Let the stupidity begin!!

I am the softest thing you’ll ever meet. You would never hear a guy say that.
I thought I would try this out to see if there are any good guys left out there. You can give up now. The last good guy was sold on Ebay yesterday.
I work full time as a research analyst – it’s much more exciting than it sounds! It would have to be.

I don’t think any of that is asking too much do you? Anyone who even would ask that question is asking too much. But good luck with that.

I signed up for this because I am looking to meet more people. You’ve gotta be kidding. That’s a weird reason. I signed up because I love to write comedy.

Friends tell me I look younger than my 50 years. Your friends lie.

I am picky, but this is internet dating, and thus it should be like internet shopping. Sorry folks. Put your own comeback here. This is a “stand alone” to me. It could be the stupidest analogy I have ever read.

I’d like to see some parts of Europe, and perhaps South America, and at some point a cruise – maybe to Alaska. I’m guessing dinner and drinks is out.

I love getting close to nature and playing outdoors, but at the end of the day, I don’t want to share a bathroom with strangers. That’s a deal breaker. I insist all my dates share bathrooms with strangers.

The smell of the tires burning rubber on a humid Saturday night. awesome!! And it saves you money on deodorant.

I am the one in the neighborhood that organizes caroling at Christmastime. So a good voice and knowledge of lyrics is crucial. What’s up for the rest of the year, high-powered karaoke?

My doodledawg can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Wanna see? Believe it or not, no.

You don’t have to be funny, but you must find me funny, or at least amusing. If not amusing at least interesting. If not interesting at least someone you won’t beat me up. If not….

Like working out and doing physical activities (You can decide what that means). I’m thinking it means getting drunk and having hot sex all night. How close am I?

This feature was inspired by Mimi Lenox’s Dating Profile of the Day. Used with permission.

WTIT Tape Radio: The Blog
would like you come around again.
But it really is totally in your hands.
Return tomorrow for Crazy Sam
and her Saturday 9.
If you find the time to join us!
Same time. Same blog