WTIT: The Blog

Saturday 8 is a feature we have brought to you almost every Saturday on WTIT: The Blog. A meme is presented with eight questions. The author for some time now is a lady named Lola. She is challenging to deal with on a variety of levels. We know she dislikes that we even do this feature because we do not take her or her meme very seriously. But we don’t take anything that seriously. Lola’s talent is to ask a meme question highlighting her thoroughly unique (mis-) use of language. She can manage to make the odds of actually understanding anything she writes or asks, close to zero. So it is unlikely that even a Mr. Spock Vulcan mind-meld would assist any of us figuring Lola’s questions out. We rationalize that it must be part of her “charm”. All quotes in bold are from Lola. Also, any spelling and grammar mistakes that are in Lola’s meme, we leave there. We wouldn’t want to mess around with her “art”.

sat8 :: the new year post!

1. new year’s plans? My plan is to invite two of my ex-girlfriends (that have contacted me recently) and invite them over. I’ll wait until after a lot of alcohol to explain my master plan. So, in all probability I’ll wind up alone with two women who will never talk to me again. You gotta admit, it is worth a try.

2. i don’t do new year’s resolutions, but i think that we all look forward to doing something differently in the new year. what will you do in 2008 that you didn’t do in 2007? Lola, this makes no sense even for you. No resolutions, but plans to do something differently? Stop the denial. You make resolutions and just don’t call them that. My only resolution is to find some other scatter brained feature to take your place.

3. in the past 24 hours, i have reconnected with 3 old friends that i’ve not spoken to in years. if you could reconnect with someone from your past who would it be, and why? Seriously, I think it would be fun to spend some time with a former lover from the distant past. This year I received a Christmas card from my first girlfriend when I was 14. She was the first girl I ever saw naked. (No, we didn’t actual “do it”, but obviously we got close.) She said she thought it would be fun to get together. My first thought was “this might get interesting”.

4. i live my life not regretting anything … or at least try not to regret anything that i’ve done, and look at life as a learning experience. do you have anything that you would have not done/done differently in 2007 as you look back? First let me comment that while it is brave of you to share your philosophy of life, I am not sure it was a wise move. “looking at life as a learning experience” is just not what we think of when we think of Lola. We think, “This broad couldn’t to get out of her house in a fire.” As far as what I should have done: I should have won the lottery. Of course, not buying tickets certainly diminished my odds.

5. going back to my ex-friends that i reconnected with, one of them REALLY let me down as she chose a guy over our friendship. she wrote to me that she would think back over these past 14 years and kick herself, and wonder what had happened to me? do you have someone that you wronged/wronged you and wonder where they are? what happened to that friendship? Your friend “kicked herself and wondered what happened to Lola”? If she’d read your Saturday 8 blog, she would at least know that you did not become a serious writer. Also, I might add, I am not surprised that she chose the guy. Now what was the question?

6. one of the other ex-friends is an ex-boyfriend that i had when i was 16. he cheated on me when i was 17, and then i ‘got over it’ and we had a cordial non-friendship. i’m married and he’s married, so i don’t have any problem talking with him as there is NO chance at stirring up any old flames. if you had a chance to reconnect with an ex, who would it be, and why? or would you let sleeping “dogs” lie? Oh. Married people don’t cheat? What is a “cordial non-friendship”? Honestly, Lola: You didn’t proof read this today, did you? I reconnect with ex’s a lot. Generally it comes with a court order to knock off the stalking.

7. i’m eating to join a weight-loss study. that’s right … i’m about 10 lbs. shy of the weight goal and am actually porking out this coming week as i get free vitamins/supplements, a free registered dietician for two years, and i also get $600/mo. to participate for two years. i’m VERY tall (over 5’9″), so this is going to be difficult! i’m gaining 10 lbs. to lose my original goal of 20 lbs., which will now be 30 lbs. (hey, i want to get back into a size 6 after being a size 10 for a few years!). to gain those 10 lbs., what do you suggest that i eat? any “fun” fattening foods that i should try? This isn’t a question, it is a novel. Lola, you are in need of serious therapy. I often say “You can’t make this shit up. It has to happen to you.” Porking out so you can lose the weight? That’s like “fucking for virginty”! As far as what you should eat: The manual that gave you this incredibly stupid idea.

8. i’m heading to disney today with the family and friends. what is your favourite theme park, and why? It’s called “My Lady of Sexual Delights”. It is in Vegas. Talk about fun rides. And wow, it just hit me. This is the last question of Lola’s I will ever answer. Who was it that said, “All stupid shit should come to an end”? Was it Blog Author Ann? Gale from her new novel? Frank from a “See It & Write It?” Bond? Linda? Lizza? Mimi? The Artist formerly known as Polliwog? It was probably from a fortune cookie.

happy new year … be safe, and i’ll see you next week 10lbs. heavier! See you then! No, actually you won’t. This is goodbye and the big kiss-off. We will miss your peanut brain and run on questions.

We hope you planning to have a terrific New Year. Parts of today’s post were originally published on December 30, 2006. WTIT: The Blog will return tomorrow with Stealing. Even as I reread today’s post, I find it hard to believe that we won’t have Lola to kick around anymore. See you next time!

Same time. Same blog. Goodbye, Lola.