Welcome again to Stealing which we bring you weekly on The WTIT Tape Radio Blog. We have gotten really good at just stealing a meme from someone else’s post. Today our meme is ripped off from Madam Diva’s Blog. She was tagged by Witchapoo (I shit you not) to do it. I don’t remember who actually Witchapoo got it from, which is fine, because we never go back to the credit previous thefts anyway. Too much effort, and really who cares? Usually, what we steal is stolen as well. We are just smarter by calling our theft “A Feature”. All meme questions are in bold. A nice touch is that every week some of you rip it off from me. Please continue to do so.
The Witchapoo Meme
3. Been to Florida – Most recently in the mid-eighties. Johnnie Walker and I took our wives. They oceaned while we golfed. We passed up some beautiful women there. Had we known we’d not stay married to those women it would have been excellent. Read the story here.
5. Been lost – In many ways both physical and spiritual. I’m hoping for either a GPS unit or a compass for Christmas.
6. Been on the opposite side of the country – This question only makes sense if you live on a coast. How do people in Chicago answer this? Oh, right. There is a north side and south side of Chicago.
7. Swam in the ocean – Only with stingrays.
8. Cried yourself to sleep – Yes. But only when the husband comes home too early.
9. Played cops and robbers – I was thinking maybe for New Year’s.
10. Played with a Tonka Truck – Only the ones made in China. If you lick the paint you get a great buzz.
12. Sang karaoke – It was NOT pretty. Of course there was Smirnoff involved.
13. Paid for a meal with only coins – No. Unless you count the time that Harvey Wallbanger and I searched our sofa for coins to buy a can of tuna fish. We were roommates back then. Neither of us miss the tuna fish.
14. Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? – You mean like sleeping with my neighbor’s wife? Of course, I have done it. But I don’t think I ever thought I wouldn’t.
15. Made prank phone calls – Not on purpose. Some have turned out that way.
19. Been kissed under the mistletoe – Once by my crazy Aunt Cyndi. Although she kissed kids by using kind of a lick. It was revolting.
20. Watched the sunrise with someone you care about – No. But that might be because that “care about” thing doesn’t cover a lot of people.
21. Done a bubble bath – Yes. The concept always is more appealing than the result.
22. Made a bonfire on the beach – No. Once in my car. But that is sorta the thing with bonfires and cars. Once does it everytime.
23. Crashed a party – How else would I get in? You’ve read my shit. Do you think anyone would invite me anywhere?
27. Any nicknames – Just the usual ones. Moron, idiot, jerk and The Great One. The last one was during a one-night stand. It was a nice thought. That was before she realized that I “painted” her by using crayons.
28. Favorite drink? Me, drink? Only if there is a state of emergency. Fortunately, there are a lot of them.
29. Any tattoos? Just a Mexican cutie.
30. Body piercing? No. And I lied about the tattoo.
31. How much do you love your job? I keep Massachusetts safe from sobriety. It’s very important work. You gotta love that.
33. Ever been to Africa – You saw this one coming, didn’t you?
34. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? I’ve never had enough dough.
37. Ever been in a car accident? Not on purpose. Geez.
38. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? 4 door. When you’ve been married as often as I, you always feel safer with many escape routes.
45. Favorite day of the week? Saturday. Sorry I missed you yesterday.
48. Favorite smell? The scent of her hair in the morning. Then, the humiliation of not remembering her name.
49. What do you do to relax? Sex, Drugs and rock ‘n roll. Scratch the drugs part. Although it sounds a bit better than “Sex, Smirnoff and rock ‘n roll”.
50. Do you have a message to your friends reading this? Yes. You have got to find something better to do with your free time.
51. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Retired in the Caribbean with a rich widow. It’s my master plan. It isn’t a particularly clever or realistic plan, but it’s all I got.