Maybe I am getting carried away, but listening to a “fake radio station” should be a matter of choice. Now you realized that I spent a lot of years on the air on the radio. You also know that I am a prime believer in Tape Radio, which is “fake radio”. Here is the difference. If you want to hear WTIT you would either ask me to play you the station or ask for a tape or CD to be sent to you. It would be your choice. Listening to music in a Wal-Mart or K-Mart store is fine. It is the combination of canned DJs and even worse yet, employees announcing specials, which makes me feel like you are scratching a blackboard with your fingernails.
“Hi Wal-Mart Shoppers, that was ‘Brandy’ by Looking Glass. If you are looking for glasses search no further than Wal-Mart’s Opticians.” (Next song begins) Now a robotic employee interrupts the song because he has something important to say. “Hi-East-Windsor-Wal-Mart-Patrons. We got men’s socks two for one for the next half hour. The-men’s-socks-are-in-the-men’s department. That is two for one which is like getting a free pair.” (music starts) Let’s dissect this. I am not a patron of Wal-Mart. I am at best a reluctant customer. I mean if they hadn’t driven regional stores like Caldor’s, Ames and Lechmere out of business I would not be in this store. Two for one is like getting a pair free? It is not like that at all. It is that. And while it is extremely surprising that men’s sock are in of all places, but the men’s department, here is a suggestion. If I am at all interested tell me where you are hiding the men’s department.
Today I have really had it. A fake radio station at my Mobil station? The voice says, I swear on this, “Hi I am your talking gas pump.” My what??? “Did you know that in our convience store you can buy milk, soda and cigarettes?” I give up. What a novel store Mobil has going for themselves. I bet I can get a quick-pick in there, too. This is the dumbing down of America. Talking gas pumps. The same idiot probably thought up the idea of pumping in a fake radio station when you are on hold, when calling a business. “Did you know you could go on line to do this transaction and not be on hold?” No I have never thought of that. Computers can connect me to your business’ website? Who’d a thunk? Before I can think the announcer starts again, “Your call is very important to us. Thank you for waiting. The expected wait time is 2 days, three hours and two minutes. Now here is Looking Glass and ‘Brandy You’re a Fine Girl.’”
You have got to admit; even if you have never listened to WTIT we would at least be as good as your talking gas pump. But even if you find that we were not, you can always push the stop button.