Wasn’t it summertime three or five days ago? Not only is today the first day of October but also it feels like fall in New England. I have always thought that once you hit Labor Day weekend, it seems as though you are on a giant slide. The beauty of the leaves turning colors, two minutes later it is Thanksgiving, Christmas for a minute and finally the New Year. One big whoosh! But then it stops dead in its tracks. January has at least 74 days in it. February is the longest 28-day month ever. In March we are still in slow motion, but once spring hits in April there is hope again.
I’ve lived in New England my whole life. I have noticed a couple of truisms. We natives are always surprised when it starts to get cold. Every year, surprised again. “Who ordered this shitty weather?” we ask each other. The most dangerous day in New England is the first day that we have a snowstorm. Almost everyone drives during that first storm as though they have never seen snow before. “What the hell is this white crap?” we ask. We are shocked. So we make absolutely no adjustments driving through that first storm. We spin out. We can’t stop for that first red light without skidding sideways.
My advice is to call in sick during that first storm. Keep the kids locked up in their rooms. Women and children first! And then just pray. Pray that some idiot, who is driving as though he has never driven in snow before, does not crash into your house. Oh, by the way, Happy October! It’s all downhill from here.